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Patch Launching Today and Patch Notes
2020.06.22 18:08 EA_JimternPatch Launching Today and Patch Notes
Fellow Command & Conquer fans, Today we’ll be launching our major update for the Command & Conquer Remastered Collection. As mentioned in the post last week, our goal with this update was multifold:
Complete several of the top community requested features which just missed the launch date
Implement some additional quality-of-life improvements
Address many of the top bugs which have been seen in the launch version
Iterate on our Quickmatch ruleset
Below you will find the full list of Patch Notes for this update. But before we get too deep into the detailed list, there are some higher-level items to mention as part of this patch. Stuttering Issue: This patch aims to improve the framerate stuttering issue some people have been experiencing since launch. Admittedly this issue has been complicated to address. Effectively what we ended up having to do was refactor the way textures are loaded by the game, and push the majority of that loading to before you get into gameplay. This will have two primary impacts for everyone going forward:
Loading the overall game may take longer than before
Loading the first map may take longer than before
These longer load times would be most seen after a fresh restart of the computer. While we understand this extra loading time may not be ideal, our testing indicates gameplay performance should be improved across the board, and this felt like a worthwhile tradeoff. We want to continue gathering feedback / data on this issue, so if you have been experiencing the stuttering issue with the launch version, please let us know if this patch improved your gameplay performance. Mod Compatibility: Because this patch includes updates to the TiberianDawn.dll and RedAlert.dll files, it’s likely that previous mods will no longer be compatible with this updated version of the game. Modders will need to update their mods with the latest code and refresh their mods on the Steam Workshop. Certain mods may also need to be repackaged to be compatible with the new texture process above, and we’ve provided a script / tool to assist with this in the root install directory for the Command & Conquer Remastered Collection, within the folder called “SOURCECODE/SCRIPTS.” Once a mod has been updated on the Steam Workshop, players will need to follow a few steps to update and reactivate their mods:
Disable the mod in the Mods Menu
Unsubscribe from the mod in the in-game Workshop Mods menu
Quit and restart the game
Re-subscribe to the mod via the Workshop Mods menu
Activate the mod and restart the game as prompted
The updated mod should then work as intended
Players may experience some issues if they try to activate mods which are not updated to the patch version. Detailed Patch Notes: With those items in mind, please see below for all the updates made in this patch: New Features:
Added the ability to host Private Game Lobbies:
The host must check the Private Game box in the setup screen
Hosts can then choose a four digit passcode for their game
Private games will show an icon in the Join Lobby list
Attempting to join a Private Game will require the passcode
Host invited players will not need to enter the passcode to join
Added a Player Panel in-game to view player names, factions, team colors, and status. This can be accessed via the Players button on the Sidebar.
Added the ability to mute a player’s chat while in-game. This can be done from the new Player Panel and tapping the mute checkbox next to their name.
Added the ability to overwrite saved games. Note: Tiberian Dawn and Red Alert saved game names are not exclusive, so be aware of overwriting saved games from one title to the other.
Custom Missions can now be manually saved and loaded. Note, due to the underlying system this will currently only work for manual saves via the Pause Menu, and will not work for Quicksaving.
Added the ability to see your Quickmatch stats and Leaderboard position if you’re not in the top 200 (Players must complete at least three Quickmatch games first)
Added the ability to choose your sub-faction in Red Alert Quickmatch games
Added the ability to choose Random faction in custom games
Added support for the Origin Video Broadcast feature
Added the Jukebox to the Main Menu Options / Audio menu. You can now customize your playlist here and listen in its entirety without needing to load into an actual game. Note: The Jukebox won’t override menu music, as the menu music is tightly connected with all the UI flows.
Quality of Life Improvements:
The “Deploy” hotkey will now apply to all items with the Deploy Cursor, including un-garrisoning troop carriers, laying mines, activating the MAD Tank, and triggering the Chrono Tank
Add the ability for multiple units to be queued on the Tiberian Dawn Repair Facility, the same as the Red Alert Service Depot
Reduced the Hard Difficulty balance in Tiberian Dawn. We’ve effectively split the difference between Normal Mode and the launch version Hard mode. If you happened to already beat missions on Hard mode (Or somehow received the Achievement), then wear that with a badge of honor.
Adjusted how you cancel queued in-progress units in the Sidebar. The first “cancel” click will now pause the in-progress unit, with the next click cancelling items in the stack. This will allow for quicker pausing to manage economic cashflow.
Prioritized and reduced the cooldown of the EVA line “Our base is under attack”
Changed the balance of being in low or zero power in Red Alert. There is now a maximum of a 4x build time increase for being at zero power (Compared to roughly 27x in the legacy title), which will ramp depending on the amount of low power.
The Build Time tooltip will now update to reflect an increase in build time due to low power
Added the ability to load a saved game from the Replay Mission dialog
We’re experimenting with new Harvester logic, where Harvesters will now return to the original tile they harvested from and prioritize the fullest tile. This should help optimize Harvester behavior within certain resource fields.
Made it so Middle and Right-click scrolling no longer removes a structure placement selection
Removed AI takeover from Multiplayer games. Exiting the game will now destroy all your units and structures. This was a top community request to prevent the prolonging of games.
Removed the Ready checkmark as a button in multiplayer lobbies. You can now only Ready up via the button in the bottom-right corner which should reflect the active state.
Added the Command Line “MOD_DEBUG” that will disable the Client/InstanceServer timeout when the debugger hits a breakpoint in the mod DLL. This Command Line will also allow the game to be paused and stepped through frame by frame with F1 and F2. Note: Online play will be disabled if this Command Line is enabled. Note: MOD_DEBUG requires at least one mod be installed and enabled.
Added the ability for turrets to stop force firing on the ground by using the “Guard” command
Adjusted disabling the profanity filter so it will now also disable profanity in Custom Map names and Custom Mission briefings
Added an Author field when custom maps are selected to highlight who created them
The Installation and Intro Logo movies must now be skipped with the ESC key. This is to help ensure no one accidentally skips these meaningful videos on their first playthrough.
Fixed an issue where restarting a mission would sometimes change the difficulty back to Normal
Fixed an issue where units could no longer be controlled after loading a saved game in which those units were selected
Fixed an issue where Unit Queueing was getting disabled after loading a saved game
Made an adjustment to Soviet Mission 5 where the MCV wasn’t loading onto the Naval Transport and getting the mission into a broken state (This was inconsistent for us to reproduce and hope it's now fixed)
Made an adjustment to GDI Mission 8 where Civilians will now avoid Tiberium tiles, and the trigger-happy Civilian has been removed from the map entirely
Fixed a memory leak which was causing instability in Multiplayer matches
Fixed an issue where the Nod Cargo Plane could be targeted and destroyed
Fixed an issue where units would move at hyper increased speed if players set certain units to Formations
Fixed an issue where double-tapping to jump the camera to a control group was sending the camera to random location on the map
Fixed an issue where mines were considered buildings and preventing games from ending
Fixed an issue where preview images were not displaying in the Workshop Mods menu
Fixed an issue where the Mods Menu was not auto-refreshing after subscribing to mods
Fixed a prominent crash where the Windows Input Method Editor (IME) was required to input characters
Fixed an issue where the power indicator on the power bar was incorrect compared to legacy behavior
Fixed a legacy issue where the Capture the Flag flag art was off centered with the surrounding rings
Fixed an issue where the Harvester was unable to path to a Refinery on River Raid
Fixed a legacy issue where units would sometimes be instantly repaired by the Service Depot
Fixed a legacy issue where the Advanced Communications Center could be captured in multiplayer and by the AI (Since the Temple of Nod can’t be captured)
Fixed an issue where the faction icon was seen incorrectly for Skirmish saves
Fixed an issue where the video Introduction button was being disabled after navigating back and forth from Custom Maps
Fixed an issue where it would rarely show “Mission Accomplished” in Quickmatch after losing the game
Fixed a crash when saving the game during the Temple Strike mission
Fixed an issue where player names were not able to be highlighted during the first 30 seconds of an Observer Mode viewing
Fixed an issue where the incorrect portrait was being displayed for the Red Alert Artillery unit
Fixed an issue where the green docking cursor was shown when selecting enemy Harvesters
Fixed an where the Phase Transport was displaying the incorrect portrait when added to a Custom Mission via the Map Editor
Fixed an issue where the laser from the Obelisk of Light was graphically corrupted in legacy graphics mode
Fixed an issue where the multiplayer lobby list was not taking up the entire vertical space
Fixed an issue where settings were not getting applied if tapping certain areas of the UI
Fixed an issue where GDI Mission 8 was not getting added to the Mission Select screen after destroying the Airstrip in GDI Mission 6
Fixed an issue where units could pass over a river in Blue Lakes
Fixed an issue where the Laser Orcas would not properly load from saved game
Fixed a crash if aircraft were destroyed outside the map boundaries
Fixed an issue where User Map details were not being displayed by guest players in a lobby
Fixed a crash when selecting the Workshop Mods button multiple times in a row
Fixed a misspelling of the word “Affected” in the Paradox Equation mission briefing
Fixed an issue where an extra Dr. Chan was appearing in Nod Mission 10
Fixed an issue where the Map Editor was not compatible with older versions of .Net Framework
Fixed an issue where if a Quickmatch fails to load properly, the game will send you back to the Main Menu after a 60 second timeout (Instead of being stuck in an endless loop)
Fixed mismatching tile issues on Bullseye
Fixed mismatching tile issues on Central Conflict Extreme
Fixed mismatching tile issues on Destruction Derby
Fixed mismatching tile issues on Gold Coast
Fixed mismatching tile issues on Normandy Landings
Fixed mismatching tile issues on Lakeland
Fixed mismatching tile issues on Land Ladder
Fixed mismatching tile issues on Lotsa Lakes
Fixed mismatching tile issues on Naval Conquest
Fixed mismatching tile issues on Open Warfare Mega
Fixed mismatching tile issues on Pilgrim Fathers 2
Fixed mismatching tile issues on River Rampage Mega
Fixed mismatching tile issues on Rivers Wild
Fixed mismatching tile issues on Scapa Flow
Fixed mismatching tile issues on United Kingdom
If you didn’t see the post from last week, we already made the following changes for Quickmatch on June 16:
Increased the Game Speed from Normal to Fast
Reduced the Starting Units to zero
Removed Aftermath units from Quickmatch in Red Alert (due to extreme balance issues)
Added two more maps to the Tiberian Dawn map rotation:
Monkey in the Middle
One Pass Fits All
With this patch, we are making additional Map Pool adjustments based on community feedback:
Adding “Eye of the Storm” into Tiberian Dawn
Adding “Four Corners” into Tiberian Dawn
Removing “Path Beyond” from Red Alert
Removing “Snow Garden” from Red Alert
Removing “Warlords Lake” from Red Alert
Adding “Arena Valley Extreme” into Red Alert
Adding “Bullseye” into Red Alert
Adding “North by Northwest” into Red Alert
Adding “Things to Come” into Red Alert
Overall, we hope this update improves your experience with the Command & Conquer Remastered Collection. Thanks for your ongoing support, and please continue to provide your feedback here on the subreddit, in social channels, and with our support teams. Cheers, Jim Vessella Jimtern
2018.12.22 19:43 rumovoiceHotsapi.net has some Christmas presents for you guys
Hello everyone! Hotsapi.net is alive and well and continues its development. I'm proud to present a few big features I've been working on lately. BigQuery We've published hotsapi dataset to Google BigQuery! Now everyone can query our full dataset with SQL without worrying about server performance and installing anything. You only need to create a Google Cloud account and can do the rest from their Web UI. Ever wondered how many times Illidan dies in different game modes? Here you go:
select game_type, avg((select deaths from unnest(players.score))) as avg from hotsapi.replays cross join unnest(replays.players) as players where players.hero = 'Illidan' group by game_type;
Or how about which heroes capture the most merc camps?
select players.hero, avg((select merc_camp_captures from unnest(players.score))) as avg from hotsapi.replays cross join unnest(replays.players) as players group by players.hero order by avg desc limit 5;
hero avg Samuro 3.79 Illidan 3.73 The Lost Vikings 3.65 Sonya 3.52 Murky 3.49
Or which maps have the most contested Watchtowers?
select game_map, avg((select watch_tower_captures from unnest(players.score))) * 10 as avg from hotsapi.replays cross join unnest(replays.players) as players group by game_map order by avg desc limit 5;
With this new service you can answer all those questions in seconds. Oh, and by the way those queries are over entire HotS history, and they take around 1 second to execute and cost $0.01. Google kindly provides first Tb of processed data ($5) per month for free. You can access our dataset here or read more in the docs. Currently I'm still in the process of implementing of streaming new data to BigQuery dataset so during the winter holidays it may lag a few days behind in data until I complete implementing it. Database dumps and stable metadata parsing Before it was hard to rely on hotsapi extended replay parsing because there ware no seed database dumps and it was hard to obtain the initial data. In addition to that hotsapi extended replay parsing was periodically turned off due to the lack of funds. So almost all services downloaded and parsed all replay files themselves. Now I've found how to solve both problems cost efficiently. From now on there will be daily updated database snapshots in .csv format that users can load into their MySQL instance much faster than .sql dumps. You can find more technical info in the docs. There's also a new /replays/parsed endpoint that sorts replays in the order they are parsed and is intended to give users incremental replay metadata updates. Also extended parsing is now always on and should typically lag only few seconds behind replay uploads! New documentation section and API changes Hotsapi now has new documentation section and an updated api reference. Now it describes in detail how to use hotsapi, download replay files, database dumps, etc. As we found out on practice, even simple select queries on multiple criteria can significantly load our mysql instance. It has only 1 CPU core and 2Gb memory to deal with a billion row database. So we let it deal with simple stuff like uploads and showing new updates through api, and all more complex queries should be run either on users own database instance or BigQuery. So we've removed most filters like start_dateend_datemapgame_typeplayer, hero from replay list. Check out the current API reference in our docs Patreon Sadly we lost 2 biggest Patreon supporters which amounts to more than half of our funds. Now we need help from the community to be sustainable again, especially with the new features that add server costs. Currently we have only $113/mo out of $300/mo that I spend on servers, the rest is from my pocket. Those are hard time for HotS so we need to step up and help the game and the community. I enjoy it and will continue to play it. I'm doing what I can to support hotsapi and all developers that rely on it. Here's our Patreon page: https://www.patreon.com/hotsapi, hotsapi needs your support. Links:
216 points: arstechnophile's comment in An Iowa-class battleship lightens up her load a bit. I haven't been able to figure out which sister this is, though it was definitely in the 80's. Maybe someone can chime in with some info! [3000x1975]
129 points: CliffyB86's comment in An Iowa-class battleship lightens up her load a bit. I haven't been able to figure out which sister this is, though it was definitely in the 80's. Maybe someone can chime in with some info! [3000x1975]
2017.04.24 05:42 JamesZanderzzzBest Dating Apps. apps like tinder.
Dating apps kind of suck — just ask anyone between the ages of 22 and 35. Despite this, they’ve become the normal way to meet people and ask them out. This puts you in a tough spot. Because everyone else is using dating apps, it’s tough to avoid using them, too. It’s a self-perpetuating cycle. To help you navigate all the choices out there, we’ve picked eight of the most prevalent dating apps — or those that bring something unique to the table — along with our expert opinions on their accessibility, foibles, pratfalls, best intended uses, and everything else in between. Whether you're mind-numbingly bored, want to expand your current dating pool, or simply want to add yet another dating app to your repertoire, there are seemingly endless apps to choose from. Check out my top 5 dating app picks and feel free to text Tinder to say you're just not feeling it anymore. If you get overwhelmed and have to go crawling back to Tinder, don't worry — it will always be there for you. Here are some suggestions：apps-like-tinder.com Bumble This app made by women, for women aims to give ladies control over their virtual dating lives. It's basically feminist Tinder: Men are not allowed to message first, leaving it up to the girls to start off the conversation however they see fit. If the lady doesn't start a convo with a match within 24 hours, the chat disappears forever, providing an incentive to actually make connections with people rather than just playing the "who'll make the first move" waiting game. While it's true (and great) that many women may already feel empowered enough to send the first message, Bumble is a fun Tinder alternative for girls who are on the shy side. Plus it's never a bad thing to remind women that they're in control of their own bodies, despite what many gross trolls would have them believe. Happn This app could basically be renamed "Stalkr," but that doesn't stop it from being a personal favorite of mine. By turning on your location services, the app shows you people you've "crossed paths with," within one city-block. Then, like Tinder, you can "like" someone which opens up the option to chat. So next time you're on the subway and are too scared to actually approach a Ryan Gosling lookalike, download Happn and pray to the Sex Gods that he has the app, too. Bonus: Spotify teamed up with Happn to let you send songs to potential dates, so you can send a girl or guy a not-so-subtle hint by messaging them "Pony" by Ginuwine in lieu of a cheesy pickup line. Coffee Meets Bagel CMB functions a little differently than Tinder: You get only one match — called a "bagel" — a day, every day at noon (it sends you a push notification to let you know when it's ready). Then you can either "accept" or "pass" on this person; if you both accept, then a chat line opens up and stays active for a week. The lack of endless matches is both a positive and a negative — it's not as overwhelming as Tinder, but there's also not the possibility for limitless hours of swiping entertainment. However, you can earn or purchase "coffee beans" that you can use to unlock more matches if you so desire. One more awesome thing: If you "pass" on a person, it will ask you why — presumably to make your future matches better suited to you — and then offers you another "free" bagel for the day (sometimes more than one if you continue to hit "pass"). Hinge Hinge uses your real-life network (and by "real life" I mean Facebook) to find potential matches that aren't necessarily sketchy strangers. It hooks you up with friends of friends, so the people you're chatting with can be vouched for by people you trust. Like Tinder, your profile is built around your Facebook photos and interests, and then you can chat with someone once you've both "liked" each other, but the similarities end there. Hinge provides only a "select list" of matches rather than an endless amount, so the number of potential baes is more of a gentle stream than a roaring waterfall. Once you've run out of second- and third-degree connections, the app makes more "tangential" connections, still trying to find you people based on your social networks. Even more good news: The app now calls out users who are already in relationships, putting their Facebook relationship status on the app so no one is deceived. OkCupid Putting OkC on this list was inevitable, right? I don't think I need to explain it since it seems to be just as popular with Millennials as Tinder, but it is worth including since it has such a large network of people to choose from. If you're tired of simply swiping and want to procrastinate for hours by penning the world's wittiest dating profile and answering hundreds of match questions, OkCupid is perfect for you. Plus, reading typo-ridden messages and profiles is half the fun of OkCupid, so you can do that to kill time on the subway, even if the more serious "soulmate search" isn't your cup of tea.Though all that can be rather time-consuming and is surely not for the everyman who just wants to hookup with someone new every weekend, OkC has other options as well. It has a Tinder-like feature called "Quickmatch" where you can swipe through people nearby — if you both "liked" each other, it lets you know (although you can chat with them either way, unlike on Tinder). I can't even tell you how much of my life has been spent staring blankly at the OkCupid app — trust me, I wouldn't steer you wrong.
2015.12.24 19:00 dEnissay[H] 140+ normal holiday cards [W] You To Finish Your Sets <3 [1:1]
You pick those you want [1:1] Hopefuly you have the mobile auth. activated to avoid the Hold period of 3 days !! If you dont have that, you're only allowed to send offers up to Dec 29 @16:00 GMT... Past that date, all offers without mobile auth. will be automatically canceled !! Offers with the mobile auth. will be accpeted until sale's end... Here are my available holiday cards... I'm adding more with time, so keep checking regularly My Steam Trade Link Notes:
My inventory is quite large, so give it time to load
If you want find matches not only for the Holiday Sale 2015 Cards, you can use My STM Link Maybe consider using their Uberscript wich will auto-pick cards for you =) And remember, I ONLY accept same set dupes trades
Finally, please upvote this thread so others can see it
With love <3 [Extra Edits]
If your trade got declined for no obvious reason, re-sent it again... It's just steam doing it's b**ch :S
Do NOT expect an instant accept of your offer !!! I'll do it as soon as I see it... Remember, i'm not a robot !!
No beggars plz :x
During the night, i received 30+ offer, I started with the oldest so some newer offers got auto-canceled since items no more available... Feel free to resend again <3
If you're wondering: Holly = Mystery Card 3. It's just a display bug !!
Again, NO, I do NOT do cross sets trades. I ONLY do same set DUPES trades. Please send offers respecting this rule. Thanks
Please do not pick up my foils by mistake :< The foils are the ones with a yellow contouborder, the grey ones are the normals => Like HERE
Also please avoid sending nonsense offers. Do not punish me for trying to help some of you :< I'm talking about 1, 2
IMPORTANT: I reduced the period in which i'm accepting trades with hold period. Since my cards get "imprisonned" in the system, which is annoying and that reduced the available cards by half since I have 70+ holiday cards trapped in that new system. Sorry, don't blame me, blame STEAM !!
From now on, accpeting ONLY offers with mobile auth. Sorry guys. Again, don't blame me, blame STEAM !!
I figured I'd just throw this thread in here as a general place folks can give their ideas and suggestions. Personally? I think the site is an amazing idea. The general philosophy behind the site makes a lot of sense (find people with as many similar interests as possible) and is something I feel like has been missing from a lot of dating services I've used. Here's what I think:
Simple and easy to follow site layout.
Streamlined signup process.
Profiles, even with the small amount of information shown, give you a REALLY good idea as to who that person is. Access to post history and reddit account is great!
Distance measurement is vague.
Not enough sorting options or selections. (age bracket, etc)
I should note, most of my online dating experience comes from OKCupid where you get a list of matches instead of a "hot or not" interface like Tinder. Yes I know OKCupid has a quickmatch function.
No option to only view profiles with pictures or to report "bad" picture.
Things that have been already mentioned: Server issues, Default subreddit matching, etc etc.
2015.02.28 21:08 PastelFlamingo150Why are the algorithms of OKCupid so bad? Is it intentionally bad out of incompetence, malice, or greed?
OKCUpid was founded by a bunch of math people from Harvard, but there are all kinds of people who are making their own scripts to get around all of the filtering and actually get good matches and dates, some are even charging for the service. Exhibit AExhibit BExhibit C. I'm assuming that the people who run OKC are can to do this, so why aren't they? I've ruled out stupidity, and logically it can't be out of malice, so are they sandbagging out of greed? Does the A List provide these better matches and services? Can anyone who has paid for A List or another OKC hacking service share their stories? I tired the free YayDating for a day and these are the results:
Boldness Level: 50% (Extra Medium)
about 583 Profiles Reached
14 new visitors
1 messages received
And that one message I received was an automatic notice that we had liked each other via quickmatch. I received no first contacts.
2014.03.26 11:56 actuallynotcanadianImproving OkCupid - What should be added and changed?
I've been on that site for quite some time and I've been wondering and thinking about what things could be improved. I personally think of the following:
Casual Sex: Maybe it should be only visible for people who are looking for the same. I'm personally looking for STR / LTR, but everytime I see in one's profile appearing casual sex next to the other things I automatically feel repelled (I'm automatically inclined to think she just wants X), although I think there might be quite some likable people. Well maybe this just my opinion. But I honestly can also see sense in keeping it as it is currently implemented.
Looking for "Whatever" option: I feel like a lot of people just say in addition that they are looking "For new friends" in order not to scare off anyone and keep it open to just become friends with a match. I've rarely seen any profile which only mentions STR or LTR without the "For new friends" option. But since there are actually people on OkC who are really only interested into finding new friends, I sort of feel ashamed for saying it on my profile.
Hiding Profiles: As currently implemented the option doesn't make sense. It's the same as blocking, but without deactivating profile access and messaging capabilities. But you still give someone the bird, since hiding their profile is reciprocal, meaning you will also hide your profile from their quickmatch and match browser. But it doesn't make sense: If I really don't want anyone I've seen to get into contact with on OkC, I also don't want them to message me, so I would block them straight. The only thing which would make sense is that hiding a profile, only hides a profile for you, but not reciprocal for the person which has been hidden. This makes sense when you grew emotionally too attached to a former date and just want to forget hehim; or just want to further filter your matches.
Liking / Rating a profile: I'm not really sure why this haven't been implemented yet, since it seems to be a pretty normal thing on other dating sites. But as currently implemented, whenever I give a profile 4 or 5 stars, an email is automatically sent to the user informing them about it. This makes me feel uncomfortable as an user. I'd rather prefer a system in which I can "like" a person and if she/he likes me too, we both get informed about it, could be made optional to the rating system though.
More options for search area: The current implementation allows me only to choose between "Nearby" and "Located anywhere". This would be enough if OkCupid was an US-restricted website, but seeing as how it will transform into the Facebook of online dating (potential is existent, not too sure if management or devs are aware of it), this will not be enough in the future. The least one could add is the option "Looking in my country", further options one could think of are trivial and some should include a measure of distance.
I could spend much more hours on thinking what could be changed/added to improve OkC without a earning a single € for my consultant's services. But anyways, I see that a few of my suggestions are a bit controversial and a few other are justifiable. What are you opinions and your ideas? tl;dr These are my ideas. What you think of them? What are your ideas?
2014.01.29 01:36 nyc_throwaway33OKcupid date re-emerges and then disappears. Don't get it!
Hi all, longtime readelurker, 1st post. Had to put this out there since I'm so confused/annoyed and thought some of you might have some insight (even though I pretty much know the answer, just looking for some other opinions.) So, I joined OKcupid in late October of 2013. I'm a 40's female in NYC, normal looking/cute, no kids, fairly well adjusted. (well, as well adjusted as we all are.) I had a lot of responses right away and weeded out the crap, fake stuff, jerks, weirdos. It was shocking at first but figured that went with the territory. Well, was about to deactivate since I figured it wasn't my thing when as I signed on to deactivate there was a profile of a guy that caught my eye. Read it, he seemed cool, so I sent him a message. He wrote back immediately since he was online. (he was looking at my profile when I was sending him a message.) Well, to make a long story short, we wrote back and forth for about 30 minutes and it was easy, fun, witty banter. We had some good chemistry going on. He gave me his cell number if I wanted to text him. After a little while I sent a text and he wrote right back. We ended up texting a bit and then talking on the phone for a couple of hours. We made each other laugh so much and it was a crazy, instant connection. Lots in common, shared sense of humor, fun to talk with each other, etc. We figured since it was now early in the morning we needed to go to sleep but would set up a date later in the week. Got a text from him at work the next day saying he was looking forward to meeting me. I wrote back the same. This was a Tuesday, so we set up a meeting for Thursday after work for a drink. That Tuesday, I was on the train when he called me. It was early only 7pm and he was wondering if we could actually meet that night. At first I said no. But after a bit I thought "why not, it's early." So we agreed that he would meet me at a bar not too far from my place. I originally suggested midtown but he was driving, so we agreed on this other bar. He got there and we both looked exactly like our pictures. Which was great. We had a good time at the bar laughing, smiling, talking about all kinds of stuff, and had a couple of drinks. Before we even sat down, he had leaned over and kissed my neck, which I wasn't really into since we had just met in person. I told him to cut it out. I also told him we wouldn't be going back to my place that night and I didn't want him to get the wrong idea. He seemed cool with that. Well, after talking and drinking (bad idea on my part!) he brought up going to "talk" at my house since he wouldn't be okay to drive right away. I agreed he shouldn't drive and that it would be okay to go back to my place. We walked there hand in hand and laughed the whole time. I'm not going to lie, I was very attracted to him and he made it very obvious he was into me too. I'll shorten this and say we made out and it was like electricity. We both commented that neither of us had ever had that kind of chemistry with someone else before. We fooled around a little bit (no sex) but what we did do was incredible! I walked him out and we agreed to meet up again. He was all "I want to date you!" and we laughed and kissed good bye. Texted the next day, talked the next night. And all through that week. He did get a bit possessive and started calling me "his" and "baby" "sexy", etc. phone calls at night got very intense and we talked about how we were looking forward to seeing each other again on the weekend. During the week, he would initiate texts or calls but then not return a text for a few hours or his phone would "drop the call" in the middle of a conversation and he wouldn't call me back. It was weird and made me think that he was a player, dealing with multiple women. Just a feeling that I got from him. That Friday morning I sent him a text. I didn't hear from him for over 12 hours which was really weird. So I sent him a text later that night asking him what was up. I will admit that during this week I had asked him if he was playing me and dealing with other women, I just wanted us to be honest with each other. He denied that but continued to call me "baby", "Sweetie", etc. Not referring to me by my name. So, some red flags for me there. He thought I was nuts for asking him that and just really made me question myself for a second but still had that nagging feeling that he wasn't telling me the whole truth. So, he did text me back saying I was nuts and he didn't want to see me again. I was like "okay". I did send him a message on okcupid under the influence of alcohol a few days later that basically said, "want to try a 2nd date" and regretted sending it. Then I signed in one day to see he had looked at my profile. And then his profile showed up on quickmatch. I rated him to see what would happen and into my inbox popped up the "it's a match" email. I laughed at that and signed out. Later that night I got an email that he had sent me a message. I signed in and read it and he basically said he wanted to do a second date if I still wanted to. So we exchanged a couple of messages and then exchanged phone numbers again. We again talked, laughed, and agreed to meet up a couple of days later. The next day I didn't hear a peep. I didn't text/call him at all since I figured if he really wanted to talk to me he would contact me. Well, at midnight (while I was asleep) he called and left a voicemail with some excuse about not being able text since he had crappy service. After texting him to call me, I went back to sleep. No call. The next day, didn't hear from him (we were supposed to go out) I broke down and sent a text late that afternoon asking what was going on. nothing. So, I sent a text later in the week asking if he would give me an honest answer about what happened. He wrote back NO. So that was that. A month later I was clearing out my voicemails and his message from that late night was on there. Like an idiot, I sent a voicemail to him asking how he was and it sucked that it didn't work out since we got along so well. That night at 2am, phone call. I didn't answer it, he didn't leave a message but then did text me. We exchanged a couple of messages and he made it clear that he wanted to see me again as we had a lot of chemistry. Now, I'm not dumb, I get it's a booty call. And I'm not totally opposed to just having a no strings thing, just to put that out there. So, the next day, he sends another text asking how I am. I wrote back and things were fine. Then nothing. I didn't text him again and a month goes by. Figured it was just done. Cut to a couple of days ago and I wake up in the middle of the night since my phone is all lit up. And it's a text message from him. He wants to know if we can talk. I want to know what he has to say, so we talk. I asked him what he wanted, why was he calling now. He explains that he can't stop thinking about that night and he would be a fool to not contact me. We could be so good together, etc. I just listened for a bit. But I have to tell you, my brain knows this is all wrong, my gut knows this is all wrong, but my body is responding. (I had deleted my Okcupid back in November since I was meeting some guys that just weren't for me and I didn't think the online thing was my speed.) So, we talked for about an hour and ended up laughing and enjoying the conversation. We agreed that we would meet up again. Bunch of text messages the next day and a phone call. Agreed to talk last night and set up a date. And nothing. I sent a text before going to bed saying I was going to sleep. Nothing. Woke up in the middle of the night, no text, no call. So I sent a text basically saying I didn't know what he hell was up. Today, nothing. I called and left a message in the afternoon asking him to call me. Nothing. So, I sent a text a few hours later that basically told him I wasn't into playing games and didn't want to ever hear from him again. So, my question is, what the hell is this?! I felt like his other women didn't work out, so he thought he would try me again. But why do all that to then just disappear for the 3rd time. I know, shame on me for getting sucked in, I'm a complete idiot here, totally understand that. Just don't get what this game is. What the hell? Anyone have an idea of what this is all about? Thanks ahead of time and sorry this is so long! Love this subreddit by the way!
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