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This Week In KPOP - October 10, 2020

2020.10.10 10:35 alleybetwixt This Week In KPOP - October 10, 2020

Welcome to This Week In KPOP, a collection of everything you may have missed during the past week on kpop.

October 3, 2020 - October 9, 2020

TOP 10 STORIES

# Votes Thread Comments
1 (+6179) Korean Trot Singer Kwon Do-woon Comes Out As Gay + Expresses Hope To Open New Horizons And Speak Out For LGBTQ+ Rights In Korea 197 comments
2 (+3241) Happy 1st Anniversary to SuperM! 124 comments
3 (+2310) KARD sends J.Seph off to the military 64 comments
4 (+2062) Government Taking Action To Protect Underage Celebrities And Trainees From Unfair Practices 61 comments
5 (+1929) SHINee's Key, VIXX's N, And 2AM's Jeong Jinwoon Discharged From Military Service Today 42 comments
6 (+1770) BLACKPINK to Appear on JTBC `Knowing Bros' for the First Time in Three Years 93 comments
7 (+1070) BTS has Submitted Map of the Soul: 7 (album) and Dynamite (single) for Multiple Categories at the 2021 Grammys 88 comments
8 (+943) NCT U To Be The First SM Entertainment Group To Perform On Mnet's "M Countdown" In Over 2 Years 62 comments
9 (+901) ONEUS's 4th mini-album LIVED has surpassed 100k sales, their first to reach this mark with 233% growth. 66 comments
10 (+775) Stray Kids Changbin to appear on Mnet's `Show Me the Money 9' 63 comments

TOP 10 PERFORMANCES

# Votes Thread Comments
1 (+1671) [Dance Practice] BLACKPINK - Lovesick Girls (Dance Practice) 121 comments
2 (+561) [Song Cover] Choa - Dynamite (orig. BTS) 24 comments
3 (+461) [Performance] BTS - Dynamite (BTS Week Performance 5) @ The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon (201003) 35 comments
4 (+454) [Live] TWICE - Like Ooh-Ahh, PONYTAIL, Like A Fool, One In A Million, Title Medley (5th Anniversary Videos 2 - ONCE BEGINS, TWICE BEGINS) 14 comments
5 (+418) [Dance Cover] IZ*ONE Chaeyeon - 16 Shots (orig. Stefflon Don) M2 Studio CHOOM - Artist of the Month Spotlight. 29 comments
6 (+346) [Dance Cover] Weeekly - Wonderland (ATEEZ), How You Like That (BLACKPINK), Kick It (NCT 127), Monster (Red Velvet - Irene & Seulgi), Left & Right (SEVENTEEN), So What (LOONA), Secret Story of the Swan (IZ*ONE), ON (BTS), God's Menu (Stray Kids), Zig Zag (1theK COUNTDANCE - Cover Dance Medley) 32 comments
7 (+315) [Song Cover] Jungkook (BTS) - Savage Love Remix (Laxed - Siren Beat) (orig. Jawsh 685 & Jason Derulo) 10 comments
8 (+302) [Live] Comeback Stage: Weki Meki - COOL @ Mnet M Countdown (201008) 17 comments
9 (+279) [Dance Practice] EVERGLOW - LA DI DA (Dance Practice) 4 comments
10 (+265) [Dance Cover] fromis_9 - So Hot (orig. Wonder Girls) (M2 Relay Dance Again) 12 comments

TOP 5 DISCUSSIONS

# Votes Thread Comments
1 (+84) What is thee most shocking concept / comeback you have ever seen? 61 comments
2 (+72) What are your favorite "diss" tracks? 26 comments
3 (+46) What is your favorite Halloween themed Kpop songs? 35 comments
4 (+18) What are the events / upcoming releases you are most antisipating? 46 comments
5 (+12) How many different versions of a new release do you consider too many? 23 comments

AMA(s)

Guest(s) Thread Date
THE BOYZ Hello we are The Boyz! AMA! 201004

MUSIC SHOWS

Date Performances Discussion Thread Winner
20201003 Music Core No Broadcast. No Winner.
20201004 Inkigayo No Broadcast. BLACKPINK
20201006 The Show Thread THE BOYZ
20201007 Show Champion No Broadcast. No Winner.
20201008 M!Countdown Thread THE BOYZ
20201009 Music Bank Thread BTS
 

NEW RELEASES

Day Artist Album Title Type Music Video Streaming
3rd Ha Dong Qn [Vol.69] You Hee yul's Sketchbook : 42th Voice 'Sketchbook X Ha Dong Qn' digital single Writing a Letter on an Autumn Sky (orig. Kim Kwang Seok) Spotify / Apple Music / YouTube Music
4th GRAY, UJoo Ham Nothing but Rain digital single Nothing but Rain Spotify / Apple Music / YouTube Music
GIRIBOY Like A Film mini album Acting (with Heize) / LASIK Spotify / Apple Music / YouTube Music
Mommy Son, Second Aunt KimDaVi The Celebrated Spoon Waltz digital single The Celebrated Spoon Waltz Spotify / Apple Music / YouTube Music
5th 1989 (incl. Ex-ZE:A Taeheon) JJIRIT JJIRIT debut digital single JJIRIT JJIRIT Spotify / YouTube Music
Classmate Splendor mini album Splendor Spotify / Apple Music / YouTube Music
SF9 SPECIAL HISTORY BOOK special album Shine Together Spotify / Apple Music / YouTube Music
sogumm & OHHYUK yayou hoi digital single yayou hoi Spotify / Apple Music / YouTube Music
WEi IDENTITY: First Sight debut mini album TWILIGHT Spotify / Apple Music / YouTube Music
6th ICU ISU★CREAM single album ISU★CREAM Spotify / Apple Music / YouTube Music
Kim Haeri OOTD debut digital single OOTD Spotify / Apple Music / YouTube Music
Ailee I'm mini album When We Were In Love Spotify / Apple Music / YouTube Music
Mad Clown 0 mini album Old Couple (feat. Kim Youngheum) Spotify / Apple Music / YouTube Music
6th Sunset Rollercoaster Candlelight digital single Candlelight (feat. OHHYUK) Spotify / Apple Music / YouTube Music
7th NU'EST DRIVE Japanese full-length album DRIVE Spotify / Apple Music
Hayeon Eyes on you debut digital single Eyes on you Spotify / Apple Music / YouTube Music
Sooyoung (Girls' Generation) Compassion CHEER UP GIRLS Challenge digital single Be Yourself (feat. Hong Hyunhee) Spotify / Apple Music / YouTube Music
Golden Child Pump It Up single album Pump It Up Spotify / Apple Music / YouTube Music
Lee Junyoung (U-KISS) AMEN digital single AMEN Spotify / Apple Music / YouTube Music
WJSN CHOCOME Hmph! unit debut single album Hmph! Spotify / Apple Music / YouTube Music
8th HYUKOH Help (Sunset Rollercoaster Remake) remix single Help (Sunset Rollercoaster Remake) Spotify / Apple Music / YouTube Music
Amoeba Culture (DynamicDuo, HA:TFELT, snzae, THAMA, SOLE) Natural Mineral THEN TO NOW project single Natural Mineral Spotify / Apple Music / YouTube Music
Kyuhyun (Super Junior) Daystar PROJECT : 季 single Daystar Spotify / Apple Music / YouTube Music
Nine (OnlyOneOf) Mixtape : daisy digital single daisy (with RDR) YouTube Music
OOHYO silence mini album 2020 / Enough Spotify / Apple Music
Weki Meki NEW RULES mini album COOL Spotify / Apple Music / YouTube Music
9th Joohoney (MONSTA X) PSYCHE mixtape SMOKY Spotify / Apple Music / YouTube Music
Bronze (with f(x) Luna, Hoody, Yukika & More) Aquarium full-length album Haru (with meenoi) Spotify / Apple Music / YouTube Music
DAWN (ex-PENTAGON) DAWNDIDIDAWN mini album DAWNDIDIDAWN (feat. Jessi) Spotify / Apple Music / YouTube Music
The full chart of all releases including OSTs and indie artists can be found here or in the sidebar. The chart is updated regularly and a new one is published every month.

"This Week in KPOP" Archive

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2020.09.06 15:40 whipnil Medical Myths VII: Hypothesis, Theory, Law

From Merriam Webster-

The Difference Between Hypothesis and Theory

A hypothesis is an assumption, an idea that is proposed for the sake of argument so that it can be tested to see if it might be true.
In the scientific method, the hypothesis is constructed before any applicable research has been done, apart from a basic background review. You ask a question, read up on what has been studied before, and then form a hypothesis.
A hypothesis is usually tentative; it's an assumption or suggestion made strictly for the objective of being tested.
A theory, in contrast, is a principle that has been formed as an attempt to explain things that have already been substantiated by data. It is used in the names of a number of principles accepted in the scientific community, such as the Big Bang Theory. Because of the rigours of experimentation and control, it is understood to be more likely to be true than a hypothesis is.
In non-scientific use, however, hypothesis and theory are often used interchangeably to mean simply an idea, speculation, or hunch, with theory being the more common choice.
Since this casual use does away with the distinctions upheld by the scientific community, hypothesis and theory are prone to being wrongly interpreted even when they are encountered in scientific contexts—or at least, contexts that allude to scientific study without making the critical distinction that scientists employ when weighing hypotheses and theories.
The most common occurrence is when theory is interpreted—and sometimes even gleefully seized upon—to mean something having less truth value than other scientific principles. (The word law applies to principles so firmly established that they are almost never questioned, such as the law of gravity.)
This mistake is one of projection: since we use theory in general to mean something lightly speculated, then it's implied that scientists must be talking about the same level of uncertainty when they use theory to refer to their well-tested and reasoned principles.
The distinction has come to the forefront particularly on occasions when the content of science curricula in schools has been challenged—notably, when a school board in Georgia put stickers on textbooks stating that evolution was "a theory, not a fact, regarding the origin of living things." As Kenneth R. Miller, a cell biologist at Brown University, has said, a theory "doesn’t mean a hunch or a guess. A theory is a system of explanations that ties together a whole bunch of facts. It not only explains those facts, but predicts what you ought to find from other observations and experiments.”
While theories are never completely infallible, they form the basis of scientific reasoning because, as Miller said "to the best of our ability, we’ve tested them, and they’ve held up."
THE HIV/AIDS HYPOTHESIS
HIV-AIDS hypothesis out of touch with South African AIDS – A new perspective (pdf warning)
"A recent study by Chigwedere et al., ‘‘Estimating the lost benefits of antiretroviral drug use in South Africa”, claims that during the period from 2000 to 2005 about 330,000 South African AIDS-deaths were caused by the Human Immunodeficiency Virus (HIV) per year that could have been prevented by available anti-HIV drugs. The study blamed those who question the hypothesis that HIV is the cause of AIDS, particularly former South African President Thabo Mbeki and one of us, for not preventing these deaths by anti-HIV treatments"
"We conclude that the claims that HIV has caused huge losses of African lives are unconfirmed and that HIV is not sufficient or even necessary to cause the previously known diseases, now called AIDS in the presence of antibody against HIV. Further we call into question the claim that HIV antibody-positives would benefit from anti-HIV drugs, because these drugs are inevitably toxic and because there is as yet no proof that HIV causes AIDS."
Fallacies in Modern Medicine - The HIV/AIDS Hypothesis
In essence HIV has never been isolated and characterised. There are no clinical symptoms specific to AIDS. All AIDS related diseases can be caused by other factors with the pathologies noted in the gayUS community such as the Kaposi Sarcomas (KS) being explainable by oxidative stress and disruption to Nitrous Oxide pathways, while there is almost never KS in the African cohort and all the AIDS related pathologies there explainable by poor nutrition.
ALTERNATIVE HYPOTHESIS
Oxidative Stress, HIV and AIDS (pdf warning)
"It has been accepted by researchers at the CDC that KS (Kaposi's sarcoma), the first and most specific of the AIDS indicator diseases, for which the explanation of the HIV hypothesis was put forward by Gallo in 1982, is not caused directly or indirectly by HIV (Beral et al., 1990). On the other hand, recent empirical observations from three seemingly unrelated areas of AIDS research are in agreement with the hypothesis that oxidative mechanisms play a critical role in HIV expression and AIDS development.
"Thus, the systemic decrease of glutathione concentration in HIV seropositive individuals may result from both, decrease in synthesis and increased degradation. The oxidative stress to which the AIDS patients are subjected would lead to cellular anomalies in many cells, including lymphocytes, resulting in opportunistic infection, immunological abnormalities and neoplasia. All this argues in favour of oxidation as being a critical factor in the pathogenesis of AIDS and HIV expression."
This paper was published in 1993
The Silent Revolution in Cancer and AIDS Medicine
📷Michael McEvoy5.0 out of 5 stars Remarkable Work, Incredibly Important Book For Intensive ResearchersReviewed in the United States on November 22, 2018Verified PurchaseDr. Heinrich Kremer has written a masterful book that describes with intricate details the major problems with the HIV/AIDS research and theory. Kremer highlights the reality of functional TH2 imbalance within the immune cells as a counterregulatory shift set off by longterm oxidative stress. Mitochondrial dysfunction, coupled by thiol deficiency and redox disequilibrium leads to cachexia, immunological dysfunction in both AIDS and cancer. Toxic drugs perpetuate the problem of chronic thiol depletion and redox dysfunction. Must read for anyone wanting a deep dive into biochemistry, the historical context of AIDS, and the major flaws in the existing dogma.5 people found this helpfulHelpfulComment Report abuse
📷Stephanie Seneff5.0 out of 5 stars If you think you understand AIDS and cancer, think again!Reviewed in the United States on October 26, 2012Verified PurchaseThis is arguably the best book I have ever read, in terms of how it spoke to me. The author obviously is extremely well informed about biology, and the book is full of detailed accounts of how biology works. The hypothesis he proposes is a mind-bender: he makes a strong claim that AIDS and cancer are caused by an excessive cumulative exposure to oxides of nitrogen, which results in a steady drain of glutathione and other sulfur-containing metabolites.It will also make you seriously question the validity of "standard treatment" for diseases like AIDS and cancer.
So we have a situation where the alternative hypothesis put forth in 1993 has continued to be developed on and proving itself more and more valuable as a useful assumption to treat patients diagnosed with both cancer and AIDS however, as the title of the book suggests, despite building such a robust hypothesis this powerful argument still exists as a silent revolution within the medical community as with half a trillion dollars of tax payer dollars diverted in to HIV related research over the last 30 years, who would be willing to declare the HIV/AIDS hypothesis as dead? And even if they did, how would they overcome the incumbent assumptions regarding the disease when even esteemed academics such as Duesberg get turned in to a complete pariah when the medical/scientific/publishing apparatus declares you a AIDS Denialist. How many books have to get published, academics have to speak up in order to declare a hypothesis invalid and begin diverting those tax payer dollars towards a new line of inquiry which may in fact yield much more beneficial findings for global health?

THE OUT OF AFRICA THEORY

How was the Out of Africa Theory Established?
Out of Africa was only established in the 90’s during a debate as to the age of modern humans.
The development of genetic analysis tools in the 1980s helped scientists grow attracted to the out of Africa hypothesis. Matches between the DNA of living modern humans and fossil remains verified that H. sapiens evolved several hundred thousand years ago on African soil.
The theory explains that while numerous human-like species walked the planet, only one arose into modern man*.*

From wiki:
"There were at least several "out-of-Africa" dispersals of modern humans, possibly beginning as early as 270,000 years ago, including 215,000 years ago to at least Greece, and certainly via northern Africa about 130,000 to 115,000 years ago.These early waves appear to have mostly died out or retreated by 80,000 years ago.
The most significant "recent" wave took place about 70,000–50,000 years ago, via the so-called "Southern Route", spreading rapidly along the coast of Asia and reaching Australia by around 65,000–50,000 years ago,"
The Out of Africa Theory Has No Home
Accordingly, we can infer that Eve lived three times 50,000 to 60,000 years ago, or roughly 150,000 to 180,000 years ago.5
This declaration was regarded as the final word, and the resolution of "15 years of disagreement"6 between two branches of science. Wilson and Cann triumphantly proclaimed victory on behalf of the molecular geneticists declaring that "we won the argument, when the palaeontologists admitted we had been right and they had been wrong."7
With the case closed and bragging rights secured in perpetuity, science had once again provided certainty and an African ancestry. Or so it seemed. But not long after their paper was published Rebecca Cann realised they were mistaken. In 1982 she examined the mitochondrial DNA of 112 Indigenous people, including twelve full-descent Aboriginals, and the results were in total opposition to what they assumed was fully resolved.
Nevertheless, Cann was obliged to contradict a central tenet of their paper, stating that "mitochondrial DNA puts the origin of Homo sapiens much further back and indicates that the Australian Aboriginals arose 400,000 years ago from two distinct lineages,
The realignment and reversals were of immediate concern to Alan Wilson. If Cann was correct in detecting a "much higher number of mutations"11 they may as well tear up their original paper.
.......Upon receiving the results of his second mtDNA sampling Wilson immediately conceded the Out-of-Africa theory was wrong.......
Referring back to Wilson and Canns original calculations, their proposed timing of somewhere between 50-60,000 years stands on no less shaky ground than their genetic miscalculation. There are at least ten Australian sites claimed to be older than 60,000 years, granted every date is challenged by conservative critics, but even so, all are the products of respected academics.
What needs to be accepted is that if just one date proves to be correct, irrespective of whatever judgment is passed on the other nine, it can be confidently declared as a fact that Australia was not settled by African Homo sapiens 60,000 years ago. Whether the winning site turns out to be Lake George-fire-stick farming (120,000 years); Lake Eyre-skullcap (135,000 years); Jinmium-tools (176,000 years); Panaramittee-rock-engraving of saltwater crocodile (75,000 years); Rottnest Island-tools (70,000 years); Devonport-rock-engravings (>115,000 years); Jinmium-art (75-116,000 years); Great Barrier Reef-fire-stick farming (185,000 years); Lake Mungo (WLH3)-complete skeleton (61-65,000 years); or (WLH1)-cremated bones (61,000 years); one out of the ten is sufficient to deny African entry.
http://nationalunitygovernment.org/content/first-race-out-australia-not-africa-0

BIOLOGICAL LAWS

The main reason I structured this post the way I have is to emphasise the explanatory power of the different explanations for causation in a couple of controversial topics and how some hypotheses are favoured more than others in incumbent organisations which may have a conflict of interest in perpetuating the misunderstanding. In admitting the failure of the HIV AIDS hypothesis you are slaughtering a half a trillion tax payer dollar cash cow that's been paying your way for the last few decades. To accept the out of Australia theory over the out of Africa could similarly challenge the human ape common ancestor narrative as well.
A Law on the other hand, is something that is always the case. The Laws of thermodynamics can not be violated. There may be phenomena where there appears to be some violations as temporal oppositions but when seen nested within hierarchical systems do in fact adhere to these laws. In terms of Biology there are only a few listed on wikipedia as
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Biological_rules
There are definitely a few interesting ones there that warrant further contemplation particularly with respect to temperatures and latitudes however, it may be worth considering if there are any biological laws that haven't been included in this wiki list. However what about the biological laws proposed by Dr Ryke Geerd Hamer?
Dr. med. Ryke Geerd Hamer was born on May 17, 1935 in Mettmann, Germany. He spent his childhood with his paternal grandparents in East Frisia. In 1953, he began to study medicine, theology, and physics at the University of Tuebingen. At the age of 22, he completed his master's degree in theology and then, four years later, received his professional license as a doctor of medicine. The following years he practiced at various university clinics in Germany.
In 1972, Dr. Hamer completed his specialization in internal medicine and began to work at the University clinic in Tuebingen as an internist in charge of cancer patients. At the same time, he ran a private practice with his wife Dr. Sigrid Hamer, whom he had met during their studies in Tuebingen. He also showed an extraordinary talent for inventing medical devices. Among others, he owns the patent for a non-traumatic scalpel (Hamer Scalpel) which cuts twenty times sharper than a razor blade, a special bone saw for plastic surgery, and a massage table that automatically adjusts to the body's contours.
His inventions provided Dr. Hamer and his family with the financial means to move to Italy, where he realized his plan to treat the sick in the slums of Rome free of charge. On August 18th, 1978, while in Rome, the Hamers received the shocking news that their son Dirk had been accidentally shot by the Italian Prince Victor Emanuel of Savoy. On December 7th, 1978, Dirk succumbed to the injuries and died in his father's arms. Dirk is buried under the city wall at the pyramid in Rome.
Shortly after Dirk's death, Dr. Hamer was diagnosed with testicular cancer. Since he had never been seriously ill, he postulated that the development of his cancer could be directly related to the unexpected loss of his son. In fact, he would eventually, in honor of Dirk, call this unexpected shock a DHS or “Dirk Hamer Syndrome”. Dirk's death and his own experience with cancer set Dr. Hamer on an extraordinary scientific journey.
At the time head internist of a cancer clinic at the University of Munich, he began to investigate his cancer patients' histories and soon learned that, like him, they all had experienced an unexpected shock of one sort or another. But he took his research even further. Pursuing the hypothesis that all bodily processes are controlled from the brain, he analyzed his patients' brain scans and compared them with their medical records and personal histories. To his amazement, he found a clear correlation between certain types of “conflict shocks”, how these shocks manifest themselves on the organ level as specific symptoms and how all this is connected to the brain. Until then, no studies had examined the role of the brain as the mediator between the psyche and a diseased organ.
Dr. Hamer established that every disease originates from a shock or trauma that catches an individual completely by surprise. The moment the unexpected conflict occurs, the shock strikes a specific, predetermined area in the brain causing a lesion (later called Hamer Focus or HH - Hamerscher Herd), visible on a brain scan as a set of sharp concentric rings. Before Dr. Hamer identified these ringed lesions on a brain scan, radiologists considered them as artifacts created by a glitch in the machine. But Siemens, a manufacturer of computer tomography equipment, certified that these target lesions cannot be artifacts because even when the tomography is repeated and taken from different angles, the same ring formation always appears in the same location.
The brain cells that receive the shock (DHS) send a biochemical signal to the corresponding body cells causing the growth of a tumor, a meltdown of tissue, or functional loss, depending on which part of the brain is involved. The reason why specific conflicts are irrefutably tied to specific areas in the brain is that during the development of the human organism each brain area was programmed to respond instantly to situations that could threaten survival. While the brainstem, the oldest part of the brain, is programmed with primordial conflicts related to breathing (death-fright conflicts) reproduction (procreation conflicts) and food (morsel conflicts), the cerebrum, the youngest part of the brain, correlates to more advanced matters (separation conflicts, territorial conflicts). Dr. Hamer also discovered that every disease progresses in two phases: first, a conflict-active phase, characterized by emotional distress, a lack of appetite, and sleeplessness, and then, provided the conflict can be resolved, a healing phase. This is the period in which the psyche, the brain and the affected organ undergo the phase of recovery, an often difficult process marked by fatigue, headaches, inflammation, “infections”, and pain.
Firmly anchored in the science of embryology and in full accordance with evolutionary logic, Dr. Hamer called his findings “The Five Biological Laws of the New Medicine”. Over the years, he was able to confirm his discoveries with over 40,000 case studies.
https://learninggnm.com/SBS/documents/verifications.html
https://learninggnm.com/SBS/documents/five_laws.html

FIRST BIOLOGICAL LAW (“The Iron Rule of Cancer”)

1st Criterion: Every “disease” - hereinafter called Significant Biological Special Program (SBS) - originates from a DHS (Dirk Hamer Syndrome), which is an unexpected, highly acute, and isolating conflict shock that occurs simultaneously in the psyche, the brain, and on the corresponding organ.2nd Criterion: The content of the conflict determines which organ will be affected and from which area of the brain the SBS will be controlled. 3rd Criterion: Every SBS runs synchronously on the level of the psyche, the brain, and the organ.
Severe malnutrition, poisoning, or an injury can result in the dysfunction of an organ without a DHS.

SECOND BIOLOGICAL LAW

Every SBS-Significant Biological Special Program runs in two phases provided there is a resolution of the conflict.
THE CONFLICT-ACTIVE PHASE (CA-Phase)
When the DHS occurs, the normal day-night-rhythm is instantly interrupted and the autonomic nervous system switches into lasting sympathicotonia and a prolonged state of stress with nervous restlessness, a fast heartbeat, elevated blood pressure, slow digestion, frequent urination, and little appetite. Since the blood vessels are constricted during stress, typical signs of conflict activity are cold hands, cold sweats, and the shivers. We therefore call the conflict-active phase also the COLD phase.
The PSYCHE is in a compulsive thinking mode. The constant dwelling over the conflict causes sleep disturbances (waking up shortly after falling asleep, usually around 3 o’clock in the morning). The extra waking hours and the total focus on the conflict serve to find a resolution to the conflict as soon as possible.
THE HEALING PHASE (PCL= post-conflictolysis)
With the resolution of the conflict, the autonomic nervous system switches into lasting vagotonia and a prolonged state of rest with fatigue but good appetite. Resting and the desire to eat provide the organism with the necessary energy for healing. If the healing phase is intense, the tiredness could be so overwhelming that one can hardly get out of bed. The need for sleep is particularly strong during the day (in conventional medicine, persistent tiredness is diagnosed as “chronic fatigue syndrome”). Accompanying symptoms are a slow pulse and low blood pressure. During vagotonia, the blood vessels expand causing warm hands and a warm skin. We therefore call the healing phase also the WARM phase.
The PSYCHE is in a state of relief.
If more tissue is required to facilitate a conflict resolution, the corresponding organ generates cell proliferation during the conflict-active phase. This process applies to all organs and tissues that are controlled by the brainstem and the cerebellum such as the lungs, liver, pancreas, colon, thyroid, or breast glands. In embryological terms, these organs derive from the endoderm or from the old mesoderm (see Third Biological Law).
If less tissue is required to facilitate a conflict resolution, the organ or tissue responds with cell loss. This process applies to all organs and tissues that are controlled from the cerebral medulla and the cerebral cortex such as the bones and joints, ovaries, testicles, coronary arteries, coronary veins, cervix, bronchi, larynx, and the skin. In embryological terms, these organs derive from the new mesoderm or from the ectoderm (see Third Biological Law
Diagram of the Two Phases
A “hanging healing” refers to the situation where the healing phase cannot be completed because of recurrent conflict relapses.

THIRD BIOLOGICAL LAW


Dr. Hamer's medical research is firmly anchored in the science of embryology. Taking into account the development of the fetus (ontogenesis) he discovered that the correlation between the psyche, the brain, and the organs is closely connected to the three embryonic germ layers (endoderm, mesoderm, ectoderm) from which all organs of the human body originate. The Third Biological Law shows that the location of the Hamer Focus in the brain as well as the cell proliferation or cell loss following a DHS are not accidental but part of a meaningful biological system inherent in every living organism. The Biological Special Programs of Nature are encoded in every human cell and thus inscribed in the DNA, the carrier of genetic information (see GNM Article “Understanding Genetic Diseases”).
Through analyzing and comparing thousands of brain scans Dr. Hamer found that organs originating from the same embryonic germ layer are controlled from the same part of the brain.


FOURTH BIOLOGICAL LAW

For the first 2.5 billion years, microbes were the only organisms inhabiting the earth. Gradually, they populated other life forms, including plants, animals, and humans. It is estimated that the number of microbial cells residing in the human body (known as the “human microbiome”) outnumbers the body cells almost 4 to 1. Owing to their symbiotic relationship with the human organism and their vital role in maintaining the body tissues, microbes have become indispensable for our survival.
NOTE: The placenta that connects the developing fetus to the uterus is not sterile, as previously thought, but harbors a rich collection of bacteria. Hence, bacteria assist the healing process already in the organism of the fetus! “For more than a century scientists have assumed that babies come into the world germ-free after nine months in a sterile womb. Not so, new studies find: Bacteria lurk in the placenta, amniotic fluid and umbilical cord, making the womb a germy place.” (Science News, May 28, 2014; see also "The Placenta Harbors a Unique Microbiome", Science Transational Medicine, May 21, 2014). Mycobacteria such as TB bacteria are also introduced to the newborn through the breast milk.
The theory that certain “diseases” are caused by “pathogenic microbes” is one of the most persistent doctrines of modern medicine. This general conception is largely attributable to the fact that microbes are present at the site of a “diseased” organ. And since the activity of microbes is accompanied by swelling, fever, inflammation, pus, discharge, and pain, microbes are believed to be the cause of “infectious diseases”. Similar to the idea that an “abnormal” growth of cancer cells leads to the development of a “malignant” tumor, it is wrongly assumed that microbes growing beyond their normal ranges (see immune system theory) results in virulent “infections”.
Microbes don’t cause diseases but play instead a vital role during the healing phase.
The Fourth Biological Law shows that so-called “infectious diseases” occur exclusively in the second phase of a Biological Special Program, where the organism uses the microbes to optimize healing. During their activities microbes require a warm environment, hence, the development of an inflammation and fever. Microbes also need an acidic milieu, which is suitably provided through the vagotonic state that is dominant in every healing phase. The onset of an “infection” is therefore not, as presumed, brought on by an imbalanced pH level (a “wrong diet”) but rather by the transition from the conflict-active phase into the healing phase.
NOTE: Microbes are endemic. They live in harmony with all organisms of the ecological milieu in which they have developed over millions of years. Contact with microbes that are foreign to the human body, for example through traveling abroad, does not cause per se a “disease”. However, if, let’s say, a European happens to resolve a particular conflict in the tropics and comes in contact with local microbes, the related organ will use them for the healing process. Since the body is not accustomed to these exotic microorganisms, the healing symptoms can be quite severe.

Diseases are not contagious!
If two or more people happen to have the same symptoms, for example, a cold, diarrhea, or a stomach flu, this means that all of them are in the healing phase of the same type of conflict (stink conflict, indigestible morsel conflict, territorial anger conflict) that took place, let’s say, at school, at home, or at work.

FIFTH BIOLOGICAL LAW - THE QUINTESSENCE

Every so-called disease is part of a Significant Biological Special Program of Nature created to assists an organism (humans and animals alike) during unexpected distress.
Dr. Hamer: “All so-called diseases have a special biological meaning. While we used to regard Mother Nature as fallible and had the audacity to believe that She constantly made mistakes and caused breakdowns (malignant, senseless, degenerative cancerous growths, etc.) we can now see, as the scales fall from our eyes, that it was our ignorance and pride that were and are the only foolishness in our cosmos. Blinded, we brought upon ourselves this senseless, soulless and brutal medicine. Full of wonder, we can now understand for the first time that Nature is orderly and that every occurrence in Nature is meaningful, even in the framework of the whole. Nothing in Nature is meaningless, malignant or diseased.”

WHY AREN'T THESE LAWS IN WIKIPEDIA?

In October 1981, Dr. Hamer submitted his research to the University of Tuebingen as a post-doctoral thesis. The objective was to have his findings tested on equivalent cases so that the New Medicine could be taught to all medical students and that patients could benefit from the discoveries as soon as possible. But to his great surprise, the University committee rejected his work and refused to evaluate his thesis. This is an unprecedented case in the history of universities! There was yet another surprise. Shortly after he had handed in his thesis, Dr. Hamer was given the ultimatum to either deny his findings or his contract would not be renewed. It was extremely difficult for him to understand why he was being expelled from the clinic for presenting well-substantiated scientific findings. Dr. Hamer stood his ground. After his dismissal, he retreated to his private practice where he continued his research. Several attempts to open a private clinic failed because of concerted efforts opposing it. Letters of Dr. Hamer's patients to health officials remained unanswered or were returned with the comment: “Not applicable!”. To this day, the firm position of the authorities has not changed.
The harassment of Dr. Hamer culminated in 1989, when a court sentence stopped him from practicing medicine. Despite the fact that his scientific work had never been disproved, he lost, at the age of 54, his medical license on the grounds that he refused to renounce his findings on the origin of cancer and to conform to the principles of official medicine. Deprived of a medical license, Dr. Hamer now relied on other doctors to obtain brain scans and patients' records. But he was determined to continue his work. By 1987 Dr. Hamer had already analyzed over 10,000 cases and was able to expand his discovery of the Five Biological Laws to practically all diseases known in medicine. Meanwhile, the press and the medical establishment stopped at nothing to attack him and his work. Tabloid journalists and medical “experts” portray Dr. Hamer as a charlatan, a self-proclaimed miracle healer, a cult leader, an irrational outsider, or an insane criminal who denies cancer patients the ‘life-saving’ conventional treatments.
In 1997, Dr. Hamer was arrested and sentenced to 19 months in prison for having given three people free medical information without a medical license. By contrast, in 1991, thirteen years after he had killed Dirk Hamer, Victor Emanuel of Savoy had been sentenced to a mere 6 months probation for the illegal possession of a weapon. When Dr. Hamer was arrested, the police searched his patient files. Subsequently, one public prosecutor was forced to admit during the trial that after more than five years, of 6500 patients with mostly ‘terminal’ cancer, 6000 were still alive. And so, ironically, it was his opponents that provided the actual statistics attesting to German New Medicine's remarkable success rate. Yet, to this day, the University of Tuebingen refuses, despite court orders in 1986 and 1994, to test Dr. Hamer's scientific work. Similarly, official medicine refuses to endorse GNM despite its numerous verifications by both physicians and professorial associations.


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2020.09.06 15:39 whipnil Medical Myths VII: Hypothesis, Theory, Law

From Merriam Webster-

The Difference Between Hypothesis and Theory

A hypothesis is an assumption, an idea that is proposed for the sake of argument so that it can be tested to see if it might be true.
In the scientific method, the hypothesis is constructed before any applicable research has been done, apart from a basic background review. You ask a question, read up on what has been studied before, and then form a hypothesis.
A hypothesis is usually tentative; it's an assumption or suggestion made strictly for the objective of being tested.
A theory, in contrast, is a principle that has been formed as an attempt to explain things that have already been substantiated by data. It is used in the names of a number of principles accepted in the scientific community, such as the Big Bang Theory. Because of the rigours of experimentation and control, it is understood to be more likely to be true than a hypothesis is.
In non-scientific use, however, hypothesis and theory are often used interchangeably to mean simply an idea, speculation, or hunch, with theory being the more common choice.
Since this casual use does away with the distinctions upheld by the scientific community, hypothesis and theory are prone to being wrongly interpreted even when they are encountered in scientific contexts—or at least, contexts that allude to scientific study without making the critical distinction that scientists employ when weighing hypotheses and theories.
The most common occurrence is when theory is interpreted—and sometimes even gleefully seized upon—to mean something having less truth value than other scientific principles. (The word law applies to principles so firmly established that they are almost never questioned, such as the law of gravity.)
This mistake is one of projection: since we use theory in general to mean something lightly speculated, then it's implied that scientists must be talking about the same level of uncertainty when they use theory to refer to their well-tested and reasoned principles.
The distinction has come to the forefront particularly on occasions when the content of science curricula in schools has been challenged—notably, when a school board in Georgia put stickers on textbooks stating that evolution was "a theory, not a fact, regarding the origin of living things." As Kenneth R. Miller, a cell biologist at Brown University, has said, a theory "doesn’t mean a hunch or a guess. A theory is a system of explanations that ties together a whole bunch of facts. It not only explains those facts, but predicts what you ought to find from other observations and experiments.”
While theories are never completely infallible, they form the basis of scientific reasoning because, as Miller said "to the best of our ability, we’ve tested them, and they’ve held up."
THE HIV/AIDS HYPOTHESIS
HIV-AIDS hypothesis out of touch with South African AIDS – A new perspective (pdf warning)
"A recent study by Chigwedere et al., ‘‘Estimating the lost benefits of antiretroviral drug use in South Africa”, claims that during the period from 2000 to 2005 about 330,000 South African AIDS-deaths were caused by the Human Immunodeficiency Virus (HIV) per year that could have been prevented by available anti-HIV drugs. The study blamed those who question the hypothesis that HIV is the cause of AIDS, particularly former South African President Thabo Mbeki and one of us, for not preventing these deaths by anti-HIV treatments"
"We conclude that the claims that HIV has caused huge losses of African lives are unconfirmed and that HIV is not sufficient or even necessary to cause the previously known diseases, now called AIDS in the presence of antibody against HIV. Further we call into question the claim that HIV antibody-positives would benefit from anti-HIV drugs, because these drugs are inevitably toxic and because there is as yet no proof that HIV causes AIDS."
Fallacies in Modern Medicine - The HIV/AIDS Hypothesis
In essence HIV has never been isolated and characterised. There are no clinical symptoms specific to AIDS. All AIDS related diseases can be caused by other factors with the pathologies noted in the gayUS community such as the Kaposi Sarcomas (KS) being explainable by oxidative stress and disruption to Nitrous Oxide pathways, while there is almost never KS in the African cohort and all the AIDS related pathologies there explainable by poor nutrition.
ALTERNATIVE HYPOTHESIS
Oxidative Stress, HIV and AIDS (pdf warning)
"It has been accepted by researchers at the CDC that KS (Kaposi's sarcoma), the first and most specific of the AIDS indicator diseases, for which the explanation of the HIV hypothesis was put forward by Gallo in 1982, is not caused directly or indirectly by HIV (Beral et al., 1990). On the other hand, recent empirical observations from three seemingly unrelated areas of AIDS research are in agreement with the hypothesis that oxidative mechanisms play a critical role in HIV expression and AIDS development.
"Thus, the systemic decrease of glutathione concentration in HIV seropositive individuals may result from both, decrease in synthesis and increased degradation. The oxidative stress to which the AIDS patients are subjected would lead to cellular anomalies in many cells, including lymphocytes, resulting in opportunistic infection, immunological abnormalities and neoplasia. All this argues in favour of oxidation as being a critical factor in the pathogenesis of AIDS and HIV expression."
This paper was published in 1993
The Silent Revolution in Cancer and AIDS Medicine
📷Michael McEvoy5.0 out of 5 stars Remarkable Work, Incredibly Important Book For Intensive ResearchersReviewed in the United States on November 22, 2018Verified PurchaseDr. Heinrich Kremer has written a masterful book that describes with intricate details the major problems with the HIV/AIDS research and theory. Kremer highlights the reality of functional TH2 imbalance within the immune cells as a counterregulatory shift set off by longterm oxidative stress. Mitochondrial dysfunction, coupled by thiol deficiency and redox disequilibrium leads to cachexia, immunological dysfunction in both AIDS and cancer. Toxic drugs perpetuate the problem of chronic thiol depletion and redox dysfunction. Must read for anyone wanting a deep dive into biochemistry, the historical context of AIDS, and the major flaws in the existing dogma.5 people found this helpfulHelpfulComment Report abuse
📷Stephanie Seneff5.0 out of 5 stars If you think you understand AIDS and cancer, think again!Reviewed in the United States on October 26, 2012Verified PurchaseThis is arguably the best book I have ever read, in terms of how it spoke to me. The author obviously is extremely well informed about biology, and the book is full of detailed accounts of how biology works. The hypothesis he proposes is a mind-bender: he makes a strong claim that AIDS and cancer are caused by an excessive cumulative exposure to oxides of nitrogen, which results in a steady drain of glutathione and other sulfur-containing metabolites.It will also make you seriously question the validity of "standard treatment" for diseases like AIDS and cancer.
So we have a situation where the alternative hypothesis put forth in 1993 has continued to be developed on and proving itself more and more valuable as a useful assumption to treat patients diagnosed with both cancer and AIDS however, as the title of the book suggests, despite building such a robust hypothesis this powerful argument still exists as a silent revolution within the medical community as with half a trillion dollars of tax payer dollars diverted in to HIV related research over the last 30 years, who would be willing to declare the HIV/AIDS hypothesis as dead? And even if they did, how would they overcome the incumbent assumptions regarding the disease when even esteemed academics such as Duesberg get turned in to a complete pariah when the medical/scientific/publishing apparatus declares you a AIDS Denialist. How many books have to get published, academics have to speak up in order to declare a hypothesis invalid and begin diverting those tax payer dollars towards a new line of inquiry which may in fact yield much more beneficial findings for global health?

THE OUT OF AFRICA THEORY

How was the Out of Africa Theory Established?
Out of Africa was only established in the 90’s during a debate as to the age of modern humans.
The development of genetic analysis tools in the 1980s helped scientists grow attracted to the out of Africa hypothesis. Matches between the DNA of living modern humans and fossil remains verified that H. sapiens evolved several hundred thousand years ago on African soil.
The theory explains that while numerous human-like species walked the planet, only one arose into modern man*.*

From wiki:
"There were at least several "out-of-Africa" dispersals of modern humans, possibly beginning as early as 270,000 years ago, including 215,000 years ago to at least Greece, and certainly via northern Africa about 130,000 to 115,000 years ago.These early waves appear to have mostly died out or retreated by 80,000 years ago.
The most significant "recent" wave took place about 70,000–50,000 years ago, via the so-called "Southern Route", spreading rapidly along the coast of Asia and reaching Australia by around 65,000–50,000 years ago,"
The Out of Africa Theory Has No Home
Accordingly, we can infer that Eve lived three times 50,000 to 60,000 years ago, or roughly 150,000 to 180,000 years ago.5
This declaration was regarded as the final word, and the resolution of "15 years of disagreement"6 between two branches of science. Wilson and Cann triumphantly proclaimed victory on behalf of the molecular geneticists declaring that "we won the argument, when the palaeontologists admitted we had been right and they had been wrong."7
With the case closed and bragging rights secured in perpetuity, science had once again provided certainty and an African ancestry. Or so it seemed. But not long after their paper was published Rebecca Cann realised they were mistaken. In 1982 she examined the mitochondrial DNA of 112 Indigenous people, including twelve full-descent Aboriginals, and the results were in total opposition to what they assumed was fully resolved.
Nevertheless, Cann was obliged to contradict a central tenet of their paper, stating that "mitochondrial DNA puts the origin of Homo sapiens much further back and indicates that the Australian Aboriginals arose 400,000 years ago from two distinct lineages,
The realignment and reversals were of immediate concern to Alan Wilson. If Cann was correct in detecting a "much higher number of mutations"11 they may as well tear up their original paper.
.......Upon receiving the results of his second mtDNA sampling Wilson immediately conceded the Out-of-Africa theory was wrong.......
Referring back to Wilson and Canns original calculations, their proposed timing of somewhere between 50-60,000 years stands on no less shaky ground than their genetic miscalculation. There are at least ten Australian sites claimed to be older than 60,000 years, granted every date is challenged by conservative critics, but even so, all are the products of respected academics.
What needs to be accepted is that if just one date proves to be correct, irrespective of whatever judgment is passed on the other nine, it can be confidently declared as a fact that Australia was not settled by African Homo sapiens 60,000 years ago. Whether the winning site turns out to be Lake George-fire-stick farming (120,000 years); Lake Eyre-skullcap (135,000 years); Jinmium-tools (176,000 years); Panaramittee-rock-engraving of saltwater crocodile (75,000 years); Rottnest Island-tools (70,000 years); Devonport-rock-engravings (>115,000 years); Jinmium-art (75-116,000 years); Great Barrier Reef-fire-stick farming (185,000 years); Lake Mungo (WLH3)-complete skeleton (61-65,000 years); or (WLH1)-cremated bones (61,000 years); one out of the ten is sufficient to deny African entry.
http://nationalunitygovernment.org/content/first-race-out-australia-not-africa-0

BIOLOGICAL LAWS

The main reason I structured this post the way I have is to emphasise the explanatory power of the different explanations for causation in a couple of controversial topics and how some hypotheses are favoured more than others in incumbent organisations which may have a conflict of interest in perpetuating the misunderstanding. In admitting the failure of the HIV AIDS hypothesis you are slaughtering a half a trillion tax payer dollar cash cow that's been paying your way for the last few decades. To accept the out of Australia theory over the out of Africa could similarly challenge the human ape common ancestor narrative as well.
A Law on the other hand, is something that is always the case. The Laws of thermodynamics can not be violated. There may be phenomena where there appears to be some violations as temporal oppositions but when seen nested within hierarchical systems do in fact adhere to these laws. In terms of Biology there are only a few listed on wikipedia as
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Biological_rules
There are definitely a few interesting ones there that warrant further contemplation particularly with respect to temperatures and latitudes however, it may be worth considering if there are any biological laws that haven't been included in this wiki list. However what about the biological laws proposed by Dr Ryke Geerd Hamer?
Dr. med. Ryke Geerd Hamer was born on May 17, 1935 in Mettmann, Germany. He spent his childhood with his paternal grandparents in East Frisia. In 1953, he began to study medicine, theology, and physics at the University of Tuebingen. At the age of 22, he completed his master's degree in theology and then, four years later, received his professional license as a doctor of medicine. The following years he practiced at various university clinics in Germany.
In 1972, Dr. Hamer completed his specialization in internal medicine and began to work at the University clinic in Tuebingen as an internist in charge of cancer patients. At the same time, he ran a private practice with his wife Dr. Sigrid Hamer, whom he had met during their studies in Tuebingen. He also showed an extraordinary talent for inventing medical devices. Among others, he owns the patent for a non-traumatic scalpel (Hamer Scalpel) which cuts twenty times sharper than a razor blade, a special bone saw for plastic surgery, and a massage table that automatically adjusts to the body's contours.
His inventions provided Dr. Hamer and his family with the financial means to move to Italy, where he realized his plan to treat the sick in the slums of Rome free of charge. On August 18th, 1978, while in Rome, the Hamers received the shocking news that their son Dirk had been accidentally shot by the Italian Prince Victor Emanuel of Savoy. On December 7th, 1978, Dirk succumbed to the injuries and died in his father's arms. Dirk is buried under the city wall at the pyramid in Rome.
Shortly after Dirk's death, Dr. Hamer was diagnosed with testicular cancer. Since he had never been seriously ill, he postulated that the development of his cancer could be directly related to the unexpected loss of his son. In fact, he would eventually, in honor of Dirk, call this unexpected shock a DHS or “Dirk Hamer Syndrome”. Dirk's death and his own experience with cancer set Dr. Hamer on an extraordinary scientific journey.
At the time head internist of a cancer clinic at the University of Munich, he began to investigate his cancer patients' histories and soon learned that, like him, they all had experienced an unexpected shock of one sort or another. But he took his research even further. Pursuing the hypothesis that all bodily processes are controlled from the brain, he analyzed his patients' brain scans and compared them with their medical records and personal histories. To his amazement, he found a clear correlation between certain types of “conflict shocks”, how these shocks manifest themselves on the organ level as specific symptoms and how all this is connected to the brain. Until then, no studies had examined the role of the brain as the mediator between the psyche and a diseased organ.
Dr. Hamer established that every disease originates from a shock or trauma that catches an individual completely by surprise. The moment the unexpected conflict occurs, the shock strikes a specific, predetermined area in the brain causing a lesion (later called Hamer Focus or HH - Hamerscher Herd), visible on a brain scan as a set of sharp concentric rings. Before Dr. Hamer identified these ringed lesions on a brain scan, radiologists considered them as artifacts created by a glitch in the machine. But Siemens, a manufacturer of computer tomography equipment, certified that these target lesions cannot be artifacts because even when the tomography is repeated and taken from different angles, the same ring formation always appears in the same location.
The brain cells that receive the shock (DHS) send a biochemical signal to the corresponding body cells causing the growth of a tumor, a meltdown of tissue, or functional loss, depending on which part of the brain is involved. The reason why specific conflicts are irrefutably tied to specific areas in the brain is that during the development of the human organism each brain area was programmed to respond instantly to situations that could threaten survival. While the brainstem, the oldest part of the brain, is programmed with primordial conflicts related to breathing (death-fright conflicts) reproduction (procreation conflicts) and food (morsel conflicts), the cerebrum, the youngest part of the brain, correlates to more advanced matters (separation conflicts, territorial conflicts). Dr. Hamer also discovered that every disease progresses in two phases: first, a conflict-active phase, characterized by emotional distress, a lack of appetite, and sleeplessness, and then, provided the conflict can be resolved, a healing phase. This is the period in which the psyche, the brain and the affected organ undergo the phase of recovery, an often difficult process marked by fatigue, headaches, inflammation, “infections”, and pain.
Firmly anchored in the science of embryology and in full accordance with evolutionary logic, Dr. Hamer called his findings “The Five Biological Laws of the New Medicine”. Over the years, he was able to confirm his discoveries with over 40,000 case studies.
https://learninggnm.com/SBS/documents/verifications.html
https://learninggnm.com/SBS/documents/five_laws.html

FIRST BIOLOGICAL LAW (“The Iron Rule of Cancer”)

1st Criterion: Every “disease” - hereinafter called Significant Biological Special Program (SBS) - originates from a DHS (Dirk Hamer Syndrome), which is an unexpected, highly acute, and isolating conflict shock that occurs simultaneously in the psyche, the brain, and on the corresponding organ.2nd Criterion: The content of the conflict determines which organ will be affected and from which area of the brain the SBS will be controlled. 3rd Criterion: Every SBS runs synchronously on the level of the psyche, the brain, and the organ.
Severe malnutrition, poisoning, or an injury can result in the dysfunction of an organ without a DHS.

SECOND BIOLOGICAL LAW

Every SBS-Significant Biological Special Program runs in two phases provided there is a resolution of the conflict.
THE CONFLICT-ACTIVE PHASE (CA-Phase)
When the DHS occurs, the normal day-night-rhythm is instantly interrupted and the autonomic nervous system switches into lasting sympathicotonia and a prolonged state of stress with nervous restlessness, a fast heartbeat, elevated blood pressure, slow digestion, frequent urination, and little appetite. Since the blood vessels are constricted during stress, typical signs of conflict activity are cold hands, cold sweats, and the shivers. We therefore call the conflict-active phase also the COLD phase.
The PSYCHE is in a compulsive thinking mode. The constant dwelling over the conflict causes sleep disturbances (waking up shortly after falling asleep, usually around 3 o’clock in the morning). The extra waking hours and the total focus on the conflict serve to find a resolution to the conflict as soon as possible.
THE HEALING PHASE (PCL= post-conflictolysis)
With the resolution of the conflict, the autonomic nervous system switches into lasting vagotonia and a prolonged state of rest with fatigue but good appetite. Resting and the desire to eat provide the organism with the necessary energy for healing. If the healing phase is intense, the tiredness could be so overwhelming that one can hardly get out of bed. The need for sleep is particularly strong during the day (in conventional medicine, persistent tiredness is diagnosed as “chronic fatigue syndrome”). Accompanying symptoms are a slow pulse and low blood pressure. During vagotonia, the blood vessels expand causing warm hands and a warm skin. We therefore call the healing phase also the WARM phase.
The PSYCHE is in a state of relief.
If more tissue is required to facilitate a conflict resolution, the corresponding organ generates cell proliferation during the conflict-active phase. This process applies to all organs and tissues that are controlled by the brainstem and the cerebellum such as the lungs, liver, pancreas, colon, thyroid, or breast glands. In embryological terms, these organs derive from the endoderm or from the old mesoderm (see Third Biological Law).
If less tissue is required to facilitate a conflict resolution, the organ or tissue responds with cell loss. This process applies to all organs and tissues that are controlled from the cerebral medulla and the cerebral cortex such as the bones and joints, ovaries, testicles, coronary arteries, coronary veins, cervix, bronchi, larynx, and the skin. In embryological terms, these organs derive from the new mesoderm or from the ectoderm (see Third Biological Law
Diagram of the Two Phases
A “hanging healing” refers to the situation where the healing phase cannot be completed because of recurrent conflict relapses.

THIRD BIOLOGICAL LAW


Dr. Hamer's medical research is firmly anchored in the science of embryology. Taking into account the development of the fetus (ontogenesis) he discovered that the correlation between the psyche, the brain, and the organs is closely connected to the three embryonic germ layers (endoderm, mesoderm, ectoderm) from which all organs of the human body originate. The Third Biological Law shows that the location of the Hamer Focus in the brain as well as the cell proliferation or cell loss following a DHS are not accidental but part of a meaningful biological system inherent in every living organism. The Biological Special Programs of Nature are encoded in every human cell and thus inscribed in the DNA, the carrier of genetic information (see GNM Article “Understanding Genetic Diseases”).
Through analyzing and comparing thousands of brain scans Dr. Hamer found that organs originating from the same embryonic germ layer are controlled from the same part of the brain.


FOURTH BIOLOGICAL LAW

For the first 2.5 billion years, microbes were the only organisms inhabiting the earth. Gradually, they populated other life forms, including plants, animals, and humans. It is estimated that the number of microbial cells residing in the human body (known as the “human microbiome”) outnumbers the body cells almost 4 to 1. Owing to their symbiotic relationship with the human organism and their vital role in maintaining the body tissues, microbes have become indispensable for our survival.
NOTE: The placenta that connects the developing fetus to the uterus is not sterile, as previously thought, but harbors a rich collection of bacteria. Hence, bacteria assist the healing process already in the organism of the fetus! “For more than a century scientists have assumed that babies come into the world germ-free after nine months in a sterile womb. Not so, new studies find: Bacteria lurk in the placenta, amniotic fluid and umbilical cord, making the womb a germy place.” (Science News, May 28, 2014; see also "The Placenta Harbors a Unique Microbiome", Science Transational Medicine, May 21, 2014). Mycobacteria such as TB bacteria are also introduced to the newborn through the breast milk.
The theory that certain “diseases” are caused by “pathogenic microbes” is one of the most persistent doctrines of modern medicine. This general conception is largely attributable to the fact that microbes are present at the site of a “diseased” organ. And since the activity of microbes is accompanied by swelling, fever, inflammation, pus, discharge, and pain, microbes are believed to be the cause of “infectious diseases”. Similar to the idea that an “abnormal” growth of cancer cells leads to the development of a “malignant” tumor, it is wrongly assumed that microbes growing beyond their normal ranges (see immune system theory) results in virulent “infections”.
Microbes don’t cause diseases but play instead a vital role during the healing phase.
The Fourth Biological Law shows that so-called “infectious diseases” occur exclusively in the second phase of a Biological Special Program, where the organism uses the microbes to optimize healing. During their activities microbes require a warm environment, hence, the development of an inflammation and fever. Microbes also need an acidic milieu, which is suitably provided through the vagotonic state that is dominant in every healing phase. The onset of an “infection” is therefore not, as presumed, brought on by an imbalanced pH level (a “wrong diet”) but rather by the transition from the conflict-active phase into the healing phase.
NOTE: Microbes are endemic. They live in harmony with all organisms of the ecological milieu in which they have developed over millions of years. Contact with microbes that are foreign to the human body, for example through traveling abroad, does not cause per se a “disease”. However, if, let’s say, a European happens to resolve a particular conflict in the tropics and comes in contact with local microbes, the related organ will use them for the healing process. Since the body is not accustomed to these exotic microorganisms, the healing symptoms can be quite severe.

Diseases are not contagious!
If two or more people happen to have the same symptoms, for example, a cold, diarrhea, or a stomach flu, this means that all of them are in the healing phase of the same type of conflict (stink conflict, indigestible morsel conflict, territorial anger conflict) that took place, let’s say, at school, at home, or at work.

FIFTH BIOLOGICAL LAW - THE QUINTESSENCE

Every so-called disease is part of a Significant Biological Special Program of Nature created to assists an organism (humans and animals alike) during unexpected distress.
Dr. Hamer: “All so-called diseases have a special biological meaning. While we used to regard Mother Nature as fallible and had the audacity to believe that She constantly made mistakes and caused breakdowns (malignant, senseless, degenerative cancerous growths, etc.) we can now see, as the scales fall from our eyes, that it was our ignorance and pride that were and are the only foolishness in our cosmos. Blinded, we brought upon ourselves this senseless, soulless and brutal medicine. Full of wonder, we can now understand for the first time that Nature is orderly and that every occurrence in Nature is meaningful, even in the framework of the whole. Nothing in Nature is meaningless, malignant or diseased.”

WHY AREN'T THESE LAWS IN WIKIPEDIA?

In October 1981, Dr. Hamer submitted his research to the University of Tuebingen as a post-doctoral thesis. The objective was to have his findings tested on equivalent cases so that the New Medicine could be taught to all medical students and that patients could benefit from the discoveries as soon as possible. But to his great surprise, the University committee rejected his work and refused to evaluate his thesis. This is an unprecedented case in the history of universities! There was yet another surprise. Shortly after he had handed in his thesis, Dr. Hamer was given the ultimatum to either deny his findings or his contract would not be renewed. It was extremely difficult for him to understand why he was being expelled from the clinic for presenting well-substantiated scientific findings. Dr. Hamer stood his ground. After his dismissal, he retreated to his private practice where he continued his research. Several attempts to open a private clinic failed because of concerted efforts opposing it. Letters of Dr. Hamer's patients to health officials remained unanswered or were returned with the comment: “Not applicable!”. To this day, the firm position of the authorities has not changed.
The harassment of Dr. Hamer culminated in 1989, when a court sentence stopped him from practicing medicine. Despite the fact that his scientific work had never been disproved, he lost, at the age of 54, his medical license on the grounds that he refused to renounce his findings on the origin of cancer and to conform to the principles of official medicine. Deprived of a medical license, Dr. Hamer now relied on other doctors to obtain brain scans and patients' records. But he was determined to continue his work. By 1987 Dr. Hamer had already analyzed over 10,000 cases and was able to expand his discovery of the Five Biological Laws to practically all diseases known in medicine. Meanwhile, the press and the medical establishment stopped at nothing to attack him and his work. Tabloid journalists and medical “experts” portray Dr. Hamer as a charlatan, a self-proclaimed miracle healer, a cult leader, an irrational outsider, or an insane criminal who denies cancer patients the ‘life-saving’ conventional treatments.
In 1997, Dr. Hamer was arrested and sentenced to 19 months in prison for having given three people free medical information without a medical license. By contrast, in 1991, thirteen years after he had killed Dirk Hamer, Victor Emanuel of Savoy had been sentenced to a mere 6 months probation for the illegal possession of a weapon. When Dr. Hamer was arrested, the police searched his patient files. Subsequently, one public prosecutor was forced to admit during the trial that after more than five years, of 6500 patients with mostly ‘terminal’ cancer, 6000 were still alive. And so, ironically, it was his opponents that provided the actual statistics attesting to German New Medicine's remarkable success rate. Yet, to this day, the University of Tuebingen refuses, despite court orders in 1986 and 1994, to test Dr. Hamer's scientific work. Similarly, official medicine refuses to endorse GNM despite its numerous verifications by both physicians and professorial associations.


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2020.09.06 15:37 whipnil Medical Myths VII: Hypothesis, Theory, Law

From Merriam Webster-

The Difference Between Hypothesis and Theory

A hypothesis is an assumption, an idea that is proposed for the sake of argument so that it can be tested to see if it might be true.
In the scientific method, the hypothesis is constructed before any applicable research has been done, apart from a basic background review. You ask a question, read up on what has been studied before, and then form a hypothesis.
A hypothesis is usually tentative; it's an assumption or suggestion made strictly for the objective of being tested.
A theory, in contrast, is a principle that has been formed as an attempt to explain things that have already been substantiated by data. It is used in the names of a number of principles accepted in the scientific community, such as the Big Bang Theory. Because of the rigours of experimentation and control, it is understood to be more likely to be true than a hypothesis is.
In non-scientific use, however, hypothesis and theory are often used interchangeably to mean simply an idea, speculation, or hunch, with theory being the more common choice.
Since this casual use does away with the distinctions upheld by the scientific community, hypothesis and theory are prone to being wrongly interpreted even when they are encountered in scientific contexts—or at least, contexts that allude to scientific study without making the critical distinction that scientists employ when weighing hypotheses and theories.
The most common occurrence is when theory is interpreted—and sometimes even gleefully seized upon—to mean something having less truth value than other scientific principles. (The word law applies to principles so firmly established that they are almost never questioned, such as the law of gravity.)
This mistake is one of projection: since we use theory in general to mean something lightly speculated, then it's implied that scientists must be talking about the same level of uncertainty when they use theory to refer to their well-tested and reasoned principles.
The distinction has come to the forefront particularly on occasions when the content of science curricula in schools has been challenged—notably, when a school board in Georgia put stickers on textbooks stating that evolution was "a theory, not a fact, regarding the origin of living things." As Kenneth R. Miller, a cell biologist at Brown University, has said, a theory "doesn’t mean a hunch or a guess. A theory is a system of explanations that ties together a whole bunch of facts. It not only explains those facts, but predicts what you ought to find from other observations and experiments.”
While theories are never completely infallible, they form the basis of scientific reasoning because, as Miller said "to the best of our ability, we’ve tested them, and they’ve held up."
THE HIV/AIDS HYPOTHESIS
HIV-AIDS hypothesis out of touch with South African AIDS – A new perspective (pdf warning)
"A recent study by Chigwedere et al., ‘‘Estimating the lost benefits of antiretroviral drug use in South Africa”, claims that during the period from 2000 to 2005 about 330,000 South African AIDS-deaths were caused by the Human Immunodeficiency Virus (HIV) per year that could have been prevented by available anti-HIV drugs. The study blamed those who question the hypothesis that HIV is the cause of AIDS, particularly former South African President Thabo Mbeki and one of us, for not preventing these deaths by anti-HIV treatments"
"We conclude that the claims that HIV has caused huge losses of African lives are unconfirmed and that HIV is not sufficient or even necessary to cause the previously known diseases, now called AIDS in the presence of antibody against HIV. Further we call into question the claim that HIV antibody-positives would benefit from anti-HIV drugs, because these drugs are inevitably toxic and because there is as yet no proof that HIV causes AIDS."
Fallacies in Modern Medicine - The HIV/AIDS Hypothesis
In essence HIV has never been isolated and characterised. There are no clinical symptoms specific to AIDS. All AIDS related diseases can be caused by other factors with the pathologies noted in the gayUS community such as the Kaposi Sarcomas (KS) being explainable by oxidative stress and disruption to Nitrous Oxide pathways, while there is almost never KS in the African cohort and all the AIDS related pathologies there explainable by poor nutrition.
ALTERNATIVE HYPOTHESIS
Oxidative Stress, HIV and AIDS (pdf warning)
"It has been accepted by researchers at the CDC that KS (Kaposi's sarcoma), the first and most specific of the AIDS indicator diseases, for which the explanation of the HIV hypothesis was put forward by Gallo in 1982, is not caused directly or indirectly by HIV (Beral et al., 1990). On the other hand, recent empirical observations from three seemingly unrelated areas of AIDS research are in agreement with the hypothesis that oxidative mechanisms play a critical role in HIV expression and AIDS development.
"Thus, the systemic decrease of glutathione concentration in HIV seropositive individuals may result from both, decrease in synthesis and increased degradation. The oxidative stress to which the AIDS patients are subjected would lead to cellular anomalies in many cells, including lymphocytes, resulting in opportunistic infection, immunological abnormalities and neoplasia. All this argues in favour of oxidation as being a critical factor in the pathogenesis of AIDS and HIV expression."
This paper was published in 1993
The Silent Revolution in Cancer and AIDS Medicine
📷Michael McEvoy5.0 out of 5 stars Remarkable Work, Incredibly Important Book For Intensive ResearchersReviewed in the United States on November 22, 2018Verified PurchaseDr. Heinrich Kremer has written a masterful book that describes with intricate details the major problems with the HIV/AIDS research and theory. Kremer highlights the reality of functional TH2 imbalance within the immune cells as a counterregulatory shift set off by longterm oxidative stress. Mitochondrial dysfunction, coupled by thiol deficiency and redox disequilibrium leads to cachexia, immunological dysfunction in both AIDS and cancer. Toxic drugs perpetuate the problem of chronic thiol depletion and redox dysfunction. Must read for anyone wanting a deep dive into biochemistry, the historical context of AIDS, and the major flaws in the existing dogma.5 people found this helpfulHelpfulComment Report abuse
📷Stephanie Seneff5.0 out of 5 stars If you think you understand AIDS and cancer, think again!Reviewed in the United States on October 26, 2012Verified PurchaseThis is arguably the best book I have ever read, in terms of how it spoke to me. The author obviously is extremely well informed about biology, and the book is full of detailed accounts of how biology works. The hypothesis he proposes is a mind-bender: he makes a strong claim that AIDS and cancer are caused by an excessive cumulative exposure to oxides of nitrogen, which results in a steady drain of glutathione and other sulfur-containing metabolites.It will also make you seriously question the validity of "standard treatment" for diseases like AIDS and cancer.
So we have a situation where the alternative hypothesis put forth in 1993 has continued to be developed on and proving itself more and more valuable as a useful assumption to treat patients diagnosed with both cancer and AIDS however, as the title of the book suggests, despite building such a robust hypothesis this powerful argument still exists as a silent revolution within the medical community as with half a trillion dollars of tax payer dollars diverted in to HIV related research over the last 30 years, who would be willing to declare the HIV/AIDS hypothesis as dead? And even if they did, how would they overcome the incumbent assumptions regarding the disease when even esteemed academics such as Duesberg get turned in to a complete pariah when the medical/scientific/publishing apparatus declares you a AIDS Denialist. How many books have to get published, academics have to speak up in order to declare a hypothesis invalid and begin diverting those tax payer dollars towards a new line of inquiry which may in fact yield much more beneficial findings for global health?

THE OUT OF AFRICA THEORY

How was the Out of Africa Theory Established?
Out of Africa was only established in the 90’s during a debate as to the age of modern humans.
The development of genetic analysis tools in the 1980s helped scientists grow attracted to the out of Africa hypothesis. Matches between the DNA of living modern humans and fossil remains verified that H. sapiens evolved several hundred thousand years ago on African soil.
The theory explains that while numerous human-like species walked the planet, only one arose into modern man*.*

From wiki:
"There were at least several "out-of-Africa" dispersals of modern humans, possibly beginning as early as 270,000 years ago, including 215,000 years ago to at least Greece, and certainly via northern Africa about 130,000 to 115,000 years ago.These early waves appear to have mostly died out or retreated by 80,000 years ago.
The most significant "recent" wave took place about 70,000–50,000 years ago, via the so-called "Southern Route", spreading rapidly along the coast of Asia and reaching Australia by around 65,000–50,000 years ago,"
The Out of Africa Theory Has No Home
Accordingly, we can infer that Eve lived three times 50,000 to 60,000 years ago, or roughly 150,000 to 180,000 years ago.5
This declaration was regarded as the final word, and the resolution of "15 years of disagreement"6 between two branches of science. Wilson and Cann triumphantly proclaimed victory on behalf of the molecular geneticists declaring that "we won the argument, when the palaeontologists admitted we had been right and they had been wrong."7
With the case closed and bragging rights secured in perpetuity, science had once again provided certainty and an African ancestry. Or so it seemed. But not long after their paper was published Rebecca Cann realised they were mistaken. In 1982 she examined the mitochondrial DNA of 112 Indigenous people, including twelve full-descent Aboriginals, and the results were in total opposition to what they assumed was fully resolved.
Nevertheless, Cann was obliged to contradict a central tenet of their paper, stating that "mitochondrial DNA puts the origin of Homo sapiens much further back and indicates that the Australian Aboriginals arose 400,000 years ago from two distinct lineages,
The realignment and reversals were of immediate concern to Alan Wilson. If Cann was correct in detecting a "much higher number of mutations"11 they may as well tear up their original paper.
.......Upon receiving the results of his second mtDNA sampling Wilson immediately conceded the Out-of-Africa theory was wrong.......
Referring back to Wilson and Canns original calculations, their proposed timing of somewhere between 50-60,000 years stands on no less shaky ground than their genetic miscalculation. There are at least ten Australian sites claimed to be older than 60,000 years, granted every date is challenged by conservative critics, but even so, all are the products of respected academics.
What needs to be accepted is that if just one date proves to be correct, irrespective of whatever judgment is passed on the other nine, it can be confidently declared as a fact that Australia was not settled by African Homo sapiens 60,000 years ago. Whether the winning site turns out to be Lake George-fire-stick farming (120,000 years); Lake Eyre-skullcap (135,000 years); Jinmium-tools (176,000 years); Panaramittee-rock-engraving of saltwater crocodile (75,000 years); Rottnest Island-tools (70,000 years); Devonport-rock-engravings (>115,000 years); Jinmium-art (75-116,000 years); Great Barrier Reef-fire-stick farming (185,000 years); Lake Mungo (WLH3)-complete skeleton (61-65,000 years); or (WLH1)-cremated bones (61,000 years); one out of the ten is sufficient to deny African entry.
http://nationalunitygovernment.org/content/first-race-out-australia-not-africa-0

BIOLOGICAL LAWS

The main reason I structured this post the way I have is to emphasise the explanatory power of the different explanations for causation in a couple of controversial topics and how some hypotheses are favoured more than others in incumbent organisations which may have a conflict of interest in perpetuating the misunderstanding. In admitting the failure of the HIV AIDS hypothesis you are slaughtering a half a trillion tax payer dollar cash cow that's been paying your way for the last few decades. To accept the out of Australia theory over the out of Africa could similarly challenge the human ape common ancestor narrative as well.
A Law on the other hand, is something that is always the case. The Laws of thermodynamics can not be violated. There may be phenomena where there appears to be some violations as temporal oppositions but when seen nested within hierarchical systems do in fact adhere to these laws. In terms of Biology there are only a few listed on wikipedia as
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Biological_rules
There are definitely a few interesting ones there that warrant further contemplation particularly with respect to temperatures and latitudes however, it may be worth considering if there are any biological laws that haven't been included in this wiki list. However what about the biological laws proposed by Dr Ryke Geerd Hamer?
Dr. med. Ryke Geerd Hamer was born on May 17, 1935 in Mettmann, Germany. He spent his childhood with his paternal grandparents in East Frisia. In 1953, he began to study medicine, theology, and physics at the University of Tuebingen. At the age of 22, he completed his master's degree in theology and then, four years later, received his professional license as a doctor of medicine. The following years he practiced at various university clinics in Germany.
In 1972, Dr. Hamer completed his specialization in internal medicine and began to work at the University clinic in Tuebingen as an internist in charge of cancer patients. At the same time, he ran a private practice with his wife Dr. Sigrid Hamer, whom he had met during their studies in Tuebingen. He also showed an extraordinary talent for inventing medical devices. Among others, he owns the patent for a non-traumatic scalpel (Hamer Scalpel) which cuts twenty times sharper than a razor blade, a special bone saw for plastic surgery, and a massage table that automatically adjusts to the body's contours.
His inventions provided Dr. Hamer and his family with the financial means to move to Italy, where he realized his plan to treat the sick in the slums of Rome free of charge. On August 18th, 1978, while in Rome, the Hamers received the shocking news that their son Dirk had been accidentally shot by the Italian Prince Victor Emanuel of Savoy. On December 7th, 1978, Dirk succumbed to the injuries and died in his father's arms. Dirk is buried under the city wall at the pyramid in Rome.
Shortly after Dirk's death, Dr. Hamer was diagnosed with testicular cancer. Since he had never been seriously ill, he postulated that the development of his cancer could be directly related to the unexpected loss of his son. In fact, he would eventually, in honor of Dirk, call this unexpected shock a DHS or “Dirk Hamer Syndrome”. Dirk's death and his own experience with cancer set Dr. Hamer on an extraordinary scientific journey.
At the time head internist of a cancer clinic at the University of Munich, he began to investigate his cancer patients' histories and soon learned that, like him, they all had experienced an unexpected shock of one sort or another. But he took his research even further. Pursuing the hypothesis that all bodily processes are controlled from the brain, he analyzed his patients' brain scans and compared them with their medical records and personal histories. To his amazement, he found a clear correlation between certain types of “conflict shocks”, how these shocks manifest themselves on the organ level as specific symptoms and how all this is connected to the brain. Until then, no studies had examined the role of the brain as the mediator between the psyche and a diseased organ.
Dr. Hamer established that every disease originates from a shock or trauma that catches an individual completely by surprise. The moment the unexpected conflict occurs, the shock strikes a specific, predetermined area in the brain causing a lesion (later called Hamer Focus or HH - Hamerscher Herd), visible on a brain scan as a set of sharp concentric rings. Before Dr. Hamer identified these ringed lesions on a brain scan, radiologists considered them as artifacts created by a glitch in the machine. But Siemens, a manufacturer of computer tomography equipment, certified that these target lesions cannot be artifacts because even when the tomography is repeated and taken from different angles, the same ring formation always appears in the same location.
The brain cells that receive the shock (DHS) send a biochemical signal to the corresponding body cells causing the growth of a tumor, a meltdown of tissue, or functional loss, depending on which part of the brain is involved. The reason why specific conflicts are irrefutably tied to specific areas in the brain is that during the development of the human organism each brain area was programmed to respond instantly to situations that could threaten survival. While the brainstem, the oldest part of the brain, is programmed with primordial conflicts related to breathing (death-fright conflicts) reproduction (procreation conflicts) and food (morsel conflicts), the cerebrum, the youngest part of the brain, correlates to more advanced matters (separation conflicts, territorial conflicts). Dr. Hamer also discovered that every disease progresses in two phases: first, a conflict-active phase, characterized by emotional distress, a lack of appetite, and sleeplessness, and then, provided the conflict can be resolved, a healing phase. This is the period in which the psyche, the brain and the affected organ undergo the phase of recovery, an often difficult process marked by fatigue, headaches, inflammation, “infections”, and pain.
Firmly anchored in the science of embryology and in full accordance with evolutionary logic, Dr. Hamer called his findings “The Five Biological Laws of the New Medicine”. Over the years, he was able to confirm his discoveries with over 40,000 case studies.
https://learninggnm.com/SBS/documents/verifications.html
https://learninggnm.com/SBS/documents/five_laws.html

FIRST BIOLOGICAL LAW (“The Iron Rule of Cancer”)

1st Criterion: Every “disease” - hereinafter called Significant Biological Special Program (SBS) - originates from a DHS (Dirk Hamer Syndrome), which is an unexpected, highly acute, and isolating conflict shock that occurs simultaneously in the psyche, the brain, and on the corresponding organ.2nd Criterion: The content of the conflict determines which organ will be affected and from which area of the brain the SBS will be controlled. 3rd Criterion: Every SBS runs synchronously on the level of the psyche, the brain, and the organ.
Severe malnutrition, poisoning, or an injury can result in the dysfunction of an organ without a DHS.

SECOND BIOLOGICAL LAW

Every SBS-Significant Biological Special Program runs in two phases provided there is a resolution of the conflict.
THE CONFLICT-ACTIVE PHASE (CA-Phase)
When the DHS occurs, the normal day-night-rhythm is instantly interrupted and the autonomic nervous system switches into lasting sympathicotonia and a prolonged state of stress with nervous restlessness, a fast heartbeat, elevated blood pressure, slow digestion, frequent urination, and little appetite. Since the blood vessels are constricted during stress, typical signs of conflict activity are cold hands, cold sweats, and the shivers. We therefore call the conflict-active phase also the COLD phase.
The PSYCHE is in a compulsive thinking mode. The constant dwelling over the conflict causes sleep disturbances (waking up shortly after falling asleep, usually around 3 o’clock in the morning). The extra waking hours and the total focus on the conflict serve to find a resolution to the conflict as soon as possible.
THE HEALING PHASE (PCL= post-conflictolysis)
With the resolution of the conflict, the autonomic nervous system switches into lasting vagotonia and a prolonged state of rest with fatigue but good appetite. Resting and the desire to eat provide the organism with the necessary energy for healing. If the healing phase is intense, the tiredness could be so overwhelming that one can hardly get out of bed. The need for sleep is particularly strong during the day (in conventional medicine, persistent tiredness is diagnosed as “chronic fatigue syndrome”). Accompanying symptoms are a slow pulse and low blood pressure. During vagotonia, the blood vessels expand causing warm hands and a warm skin. We therefore call the healing phase also the WARM phase.
The PSYCHE is in a state of relief.
If more tissue is required to facilitate a conflict resolution, the corresponding organ generates cell proliferation during the conflict-active phase. This process applies to all organs and tissues that are controlled by the brainstem and the cerebellum such as the lungs, liver, pancreas, colon, thyroid, or breast glands. In embryological terms, these organs derive from the endoderm or from the old mesoderm (see Third Biological Law).
If less tissue is required to facilitate a conflict resolution, the organ or tissue responds with cell loss. This process applies to all organs and tissues that are controlled from the cerebral medulla and the cerebral cortex such as the bones and joints, ovaries, testicles, coronary arteries, coronary veins, cervix, bronchi, larynx, and the skin. In embryological terms, these organs derive from the new mesoderm or from the ectoderm (see Third Biological Law
Diagram of the Two Phases
A “hanging healing” refers to the situation where the healing phase cannot be completed because of recurrent conflict relapses.

THIRD BIOLOGICAL LAW


Dr. Hamer's medical research is firmly anchored in the science of embryology. Taking into account the development of the fetus (ontogenesis) he discovered that the correlation between the psyche, the brain, and the organs is closely connected to the three embryonic germ layers (endoderm, mesoderm, ectoderm) from which all organs of the human body originate. The Third Biological Law shows that the location of the Hamer Focus in the brain as well as the cell proliferation or cell loss following a DHS are not accidental but part of a meaningful biological system inherent in every living organism. The Biological Special Programs of Nature are encoded in every human cell and thus inscribed in the DNA, the carrier of genetic information (see GNM Article “Understanding Genetic Diseases”).
Through analyzing and comparing thousands of brain scans Dr. Hamer found that organs originating from the same embryonic germ layer are controlled from the same part of the brain.


FOURTH BIOLOGICAL LAW

For the first 2.5 billion years, microbes were the only organisms inhabiting the earth. Gradually, they populated other life forms, including plants, animals, and humans. It is estimated that the number of microbial cells residing in the human body (known as the “human microbiome”) outnumbers the body cells almost 4 to 1. Owing to their symbiotic relationship with the human organism and their vital role in maintaining the body tissues, microbes have become indispensable for our survival.
NOTE: The placenta that connects the developing fetus to the uterus is not sterile, as previously thought, but harbors a rich collection of bacteria. Hence, bacteria assist the healing process already in the organism of the fetus! “For more than a century scientists have assumed that babies come into the world germ-free after nine months in a sterile womb. Not so, new studies find: Bacteria lurk in the placenta, amniotic fluid and umbilical cord, making the womb a germy place.” (Science News, May 28, 2014; see also "The Placenta Harbors a Unique Microbiome", Science Transational Medicine, May 21, 2014). Mycobacteria such as TB bacteria are also introduced to the newborn through the breast milk.
The theory that certain “diseases” are caused by “pathogenic microbes” is one of the most persistent doctrines of modern medicine. This general conception is largely attributable to the fact that microbes are present at the site of a “diseased” organ. And since the activity of microbes is accompanied by swelling, fever, inflammation, pus, discharge, and pain, microbes are believed to be the cause of “infectious diseases”. Similar to the idea that an “abnormal” growth of cancer cells leads to the development of a “malignant” tumor, it is wrongly assumed that microbes growing beyond their normal ranges (see immune system theory) results in virulent “infections”.
Microbes don’t cause diseases but play instead a vital role during the healing phase.
The Fourth Biological Law shows that so-called “infectious diseases” occur exclusively in the second phase of a Biological Special Program, where the organism uses the microbes to optimize healing. During their activities microbes require a warm environment, hence, the development of an inflammation and fever. Microbes also need an acidic milieu, which is suitably provided through the vagotonic state that is dominant in every healing phase. The onset of an “infection” is therefore not, as presumed, brought on by an imbalanced pH level (a “wrong diet”) but rather by the transition from the conflict-active phase into the healing phase.
NOTE: Microbes are endemic. They live in harmony with all organisms of the ecological milieu in which they have developed over millions of years. Contact with microbes that are foreign to the human body, for example through traveling abroad, does not cause per se a “disease”. However, if, let’s say, a European happens to resolve a particular conflict in the tropics and comes in contact with local microbes, the related organ will use them for the healing process. Since the body is not accustomed to these exotic microorganisms, the healing symptoms can be quite severe.

Diseases are not contagious!
If two or more people happen to have the same symptoms, for example, a cold, diarrhea, or a stomach flu, this means that all of them are in the healing phase of the same type of conflict (stink conflict, indigestible morsel conflict, territorial anger conflict) that took place, let’s say, at school, at home, or at work.

FIFTH BIOLOGICAL LAW - THE QUINTESSENCE

Every so-called disease is part of a Significant Biological Special Program of Nature created to assists an organism (humans and animals alike) during unexpected distress.
Dr. Hamer: “All so-called diseases have a special biological meaning. While we used to regard Mother Nature as fallible and had the audacity to believe that She constantly made mistakes and caused breakdowns (malignant, senseless, degenerative cancerous growths, etc.) we can now see, as the scales fall from our eyes, that it was our ignorance and pride that were and are the only foolishness in our cosmos. Blinded, we brought upon ourselves this senseless, soulless and brutal medicine. Full of wonder, we can now understand for the first time that Nature is orderly and that every occurrence in Nature is meaningful, even in the framework of the whole. Nothing in Nature is meaningless, malignant or diseased.”

WHY AREN'T THESE LAWS IN WIKIPEDIA?

In October 1981, Dr. Hamer submitted his research to the University of Tuebingen as a post-doctoral thesis. The objective was to have his findings tested on equivalent cases so that the New Medicine could be taught to all medical students and that patients could benefit from the discoveries as soon as possible. But to his great surprise, the University committee rejected his work and refused to evaluate his thesis. This is an unprecedented case in the history of universities! There was yet another surprise. Shortly after he had handed in his thesis, Dr. Hamer was given the ultimatum to either deny his findings or his contract would not be renewed. It was extremely difficult for him to understand why he was being expelled from the clinic for presenting well-substantiated scientific findings. Dr. Hamer stood his ground. After his dismissal, he retreated to his private practice where he continued his research. Several attempts to open a private clinic failed because of concerted efforts opposing it. Letters of Dr. Hamer's patients to health officials remained unanswered or were returned with the comment: “Not applicable!”. To this day, the firm position of the authorities has not changed.
The harassment of Dr. Hamer culminated in 1989, when a court sentence stopped him from practicing medicine. Despite the fact that his scientific work had never been disproved, he lost, at the age of 54, his medical license on the grounds that he refused to renounce his findings on the origin of cancer and to conform to the principles of official medicine. Deprived of a medical license, Dr. Hamer now relied on other doctors to obtain brain scans and patients' records. But he was determined to continue his work. By 1987 Dr. Hamer had already analyzed over 10,000 cases and was able to expand his discovery of the Five Biological Laws to practically all diseases known in medicine. Meanwhile, the press and the medical establishment stopped at nothing to attack him and his work. Tabloid journalists and medical “experts” portray Dr. Hamer as a charlatan, a self-proclaimed miracle healer, a cult leader, an irrational outsider, or an insane criminal who denies cancer patients the ‘life-saving’ conventional treatments.
In 1997, Dr. Hamer was arrested and sentenced to 19 months in prison for having given three people free medical information without a medical license. By contrast, in 1991, thirteen years after he had killed Dirk Hamer, Victor Emanuel of Savoy had been sentenced to a mere 6 months probation for the illegal possession of a weapon. When Dr. Hamer was arrested, the police searched his patient files. Subsequently, one public prosecutor was forced to admit during the trial that after more than five years, of 6500 patients with mostly ‘terminal’ cancer, 6000 were still alive. And so, ironically, it was his opponents that provided the actual statistics attesting to German New Medicine's remarkable success rate. Yet, to this day, the University of Tuebingen refuses, despite court orders in 1986 and 1994, to test Dr. Hamer's scientific work. Similarly, official medicine refuses to endorse GNM despite its numerous verifications by both physicians and professorial associations.


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2020.09.06 03:45 whyme1924 Sources to Counter Common Transphobia

Classification as a Mental Illness

Being trans is not classified as a mental illness by either the American Psychological Association or the World Health Organization. Gender dysphoria or incongruence is recognized by both as a medical condition, and transition is the only treatment recognized as effective and appropriate medical response to this condition. A trans person who has completed transition, and who no longer experiences distress because the conditions previously causing it have been corrected, is no longer diagnosed as having dypshoria or incongruence.
Transgender no longer recognised as 'disorder' by WHO

Citations for the Medical Basis of Gender Identity

Citations for the Medical Necessity of Transition

Citations for the Reduction in Suicide Rates

There are a lot of studies showing that transition improves mental health and quality of life while reducing dysphoria. Not to mention this 2010 meta-analysis of 28 different studies, which found that transition is extremely effective at reducing dysphoria and improving quality of life.

Countering That Swedish "Suicide Study"

the 40% suicide rate is a reference to this study by Dr. Dhejne. The claim that her study shows that transition does not reduce risk of suicide attempts while improving mental health and quality of life is a deliberate misrepresentation popularized by Paul McHugh, a religious extremist and leading member of an anti-gay and anti-trans hate group, who presents himself as a reputable source but publishes work without peer review. His claim to fame is having shut down the Johns Hopkins trans health program in the 70's, which he did not based on medical evidence but on his personal ideological opposition to transition. Johns Hopkins has resumed offering transition related medical care, including reconstructive surgery, and their faculty are finally disavowing him for his irresponsible and ideologically motivated misrepresentation of the current science of sex and gender.
That study's lead author Dr. Dhejne had emphatically denounced McHugh and his misuse of her work. If for those who don't trust the TransAdvocate article, she did so again in her Science AMA last year.
Edit: Details on Dr. Dhejne's often misrepresented study - it found only that trans people who transitioned prior to 1989had slightly higher risk of suicide attempts than the general public. The author attributed this higher risk to the vicious anti-trans discrimination people who transitioned 29+ years ago experienced. The study found no difference in the risk of suicide attempts among trans people who transitioned after 1989, vs the general public.
She is also the primary author the other study I posted below, An analysis of all applications for sex reassignment surgery in Sweden, 1960-2010: prevalence, incidence, and regrets, which found a "regret" rate of 2.2%

Countering Claims of Widespread Transition Regret

This 1% "regret" rate also includes a lot of people who are very happy they transitioned, and continue to live as a gender other than the one they were assigned at birth, but regret that medical error or shitty luck led to low quality surgical results.
This is a risk in any reconstructive surgery, and a success rate of about 99% is astonishingly good for any medical treatment. And "regret" rates have been going down for decades, as surgical methods improve.

Countering Claims that Puberty Blockers are Harmful

There is extensive research about long term use of puberty blockers, and they have overwhelmingly been shown to be very gentle and safe.
This treatment isn't just used for trans youth - it has been the standard treatment for kids with precocious puberty for decades. Most kids with precocious puberty don't have any underlying medical condition, their early development is just an extreme variation of normal development, but it would still cause serious psychological damage to start puberty at the age of, say, 6. This treatment has no long term side effects; it just puts puberty on hold. Stop treatment, and puberty picks up where it left off.

Countering Claims that Trans People Didn't Historically Exist

And while until recently there has been no place in modern US/European culture for people with gender identities and lives atypical to their sex at birth to exist publicly, that isn't true in other times and cultures. Throughout the middle east and Asia there have been Hijra visible in public life for hundreds or even thousands of years. The same is true of Kathoey in Thailand, Muxe in Zapotec culture in Mexico, various two-spirit identities found in indigenous American cultures, Māhū in traditional Hawaiian/Tahitian/Maohi cultures, the Fa'afafine of Samoa, Tongan Fakaleiti, the Sworn Virgins of the Balkans, the Galli of Ancient Rome, etc.
And of course, humans are not the only animals. While we can't interview animals, and gender identity is harder to identify visually in animals than something like same-gender sexual activity is, we sure as hell have observed a lot of animals displaying instinctive behavior typically associated with the other sex. And there very certainly is evidenceof congenital, neurologically based sexually specific behavior in animals.

Condemnations of "Conversion Therapy"

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https://preview.redd.it/rymw1np9tyj51.jpg?width=199&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=5c0065a3cc2d7b9c154884da47e8634c67bbb909
submitted by HaulA29Augl to u/HaulA29Augl [link] [comments]


2019.12.23 18:18 srsly_its_so_ez Fantastic, well-sourced post that addresses some misinformation about trans issues

This copypasta was sent to me by u/PosadismFTW, I'm not sure if they wrote it themselves but either way I'm incredibdly greatful to them for sending it in. If anyone would like to copy it, here's a pastebin link.
• • • • • • •
Being trans is not classified as a mental illness:
Being trans is not classified as a mental illness by either the American Psychological Association or the World Health Organization. Gender dysphoria or incongruence is recognized by both as a medical condition, and transition is the only treatment recognized as effective and appropriate medical response to this condition. A trans person who has completed transition, and who no longer experiences distress because the conditions previously causing it have been corrected, is no longer diagnosed as having dypshoria or incongruence.
On claims that the "Swedish Study" shows that transition does not reduce suicide risk:
That is a reference to this study by Dr. Dhejne. The claim that her study shows that transition does not reduce risk of suicide attempts while improving mental health and quality of life is a deliberate misrepresentation popularized by Paul McHugh, a religious extremist and leading member of an anti-gay and anti-trans hate group, who presents himself as a reputable source but publishes work without peer review. His claim to fame is having shut down the Johns Hopkins trans health program in the 70's, which he did not based on medical evidence but on his personal ideological opposition to transition. Johns Hopkins has resumed offering transition related medical care, including reconstructive surgery, and their faculty are finally disavowing him for his irresponsible and ideologically motivated misrepresentation of the current science of sex and gender.
That study's lead author Dr. Dhejne had emphatically denounced McHugh and his misuse of her work. If for those who don't trust the TransAdvocate article, she did so again in her Science AMA last year.
Edit: Details on Dr. Dhejne's often misrepresented study - it found only that trans people who transitioned prior to 1989 had slightly higher risk of suicide attempts than the general public. The author attributed this higher risk to the vicious anti-trans discrimination people who transitioned 29+ years ago experienced. The study found no difference in the risk of suicide attempts among trans people who transitioned after 1989, vs the general public.
She is also the primary author the other study I posted below, An analysis of all applications for sex reassignment surgery in Sweden, 1960-2010: prevalence, incidence, and regrets, which found a "regret" rate of 2.2%
Citations on the congenital, neurological basis of gender identity:
Citations on transition as medically necessary and the only effective treatment for dysphoria, as recognized by every major US and world medical authority:
  • Here is the American Psychiatric Association's policy statement regarding the necessity and efficacy of transition as the appropriate treatment for gender dysphoria. More information from the APA here.
  • Here is a resolution from the American Medical Association on the efficacy and necessity of transition as appropriate treatment for gender dysphoria, and call for an end to insurance companies categorically excluding transition-related care from coverage.
  • Here is a similar policy statement from the American College of Physicians
  • Here are the guidelines from the American Academy of Pediatrics.
  • Here is a similar resolution from the American Academy of Family Physicians.
  • Here is one from the National Association of Social Workers.
  • Here are the treatment guidelines from the Royal College of Psychiatrists, and here are guidelines from the NHS. More from the NHS here.
Citations on the transition's dramatic reduction of suicide risk while improving mental health and quality of life, with trans people able to transition young and spared abuse and discrimination having mental health and suicide risk on par with the general public:
  • Bauer, et al., 2015: Transition vastly reduces risks of suicide attempts, and the farther along in transition someone is the lower that risk gets.
  • Moody, et al., 2013: The ability to transition, along with family and social acceptance, are the largest factors reducing suicide risk among trans people.
  • Young Adult Psychological Outcome After Puberty Suppression and Gender Reassignment. A clinical protocol of a multidisciplinary team with mental health professionals, physicians, and surgeons, including puberty suppression, followed by cross-sex hormones and gender reassignment surgery, provides trans youth the opportunity to develop into well-functioning young adults. All showed significant improvement in their psychological health, and they had notably lower rates of internalizing psychopathology than previously reported among trans children living as their natal sex. Well-being was similar to or better than same-age young adults from the general population.
  • The only disorders more common among trans people are those associated with abuse and discrimination - mainly anxiety and depression. Early transition virtually eliminates these higher rates of depression and low self-worth, and dramatically improves trans youth's mental health. Trans kids who socially transition early and not subjected to abuse are comparable to cisgender children in measures of mental health.
  • Dr. Ryan Gorton: “In a cross-sectional study of 141 transgender patients, Kuiper and Cohen-Kittenis found that after medical intervention and treatments, suicide fell from 19 percent to zero percent in transgender men and from 24 percent to 6 percent in transgender women.)”
  • Murad, et al., 2010: "Significant decrease in suicidality post-treatment. The average reduction was from 30 percent pretreatment to 8 percent post treatment. ... A meta-analysis of 28 studies showed that 78 percent of transgender people had improved psychological functioning after treatment."
  • De Cuypere, et al., 2006: Rate of suicide attempts dropped dramatically from 29.3 percent to 5.1 percent after receiving medical and surgical treatment among Dutch patients treated from 1986-2001.
  • UK study: "Suicidal ideation and actual attempts reduced after transition, with 63% thinking about or attempting suicide more before they transitioned and only 3% thinking about or attempting suicide more post-transition.
  • Smith Y, 2005: Participants improved on 13 out of 14 mental health measures after receiving treatments.
  • Lawrence, 2003: Surveyed post-op trans folk: "Participants reported overwhelmingly that they were happy with their SRS results and that SRS had greatly improved the quality of their lives
There are a lot of studies showing that transition improves mental health and quality of life while reducing dysphoria.
Not to mention this 2010 meta-analysis of 28 different studies, which found that transition is extremely effective at reducing dysphoria and improving quality of life.
Condemnation of "conversion therapy" attempting to change the gender identities of trans people:
For when people try to claim puberty blockers are harmful:
There is extensive research about long term use of puberty blockers, and they have overwhelmingly been shown to be very gentle and safe.
This treatment isn't just used for trans youth - it has been the standard treatment for kids with precocious puberty for decades. Most kids with precocious puberty don't have any underlying medical condition, their early development is just an extreme variation of normal development, but it would still cause serious psychological damage to start puberty at the age of, say, 6. This treatment has no long term side effects; it just puts puberty on hold. Stop treatment, and puberty picks up where it left off.
And for the lots of people regret transition bullshit:
Persistent regret among trans surgical patients is about 1% and falling:
This 1% "regret" rate also includes a lot of people who are very happy they transitioned, and continue to live as a gender other than the one they were assigned at birth, but regret that medical error or shitty luck led to low quality surgical results.
This is a risk in any reconstructive surgery, and a success rate of about 99% is astonishingly good for any medical treatment. And "regret" rates have been going down for decades, as surgical methods improve.
For the whole "trans people didn't exist until 15 years ago" shit, here's my default post/list of links:
  • Chevalier d'Eon (1728-1810) - French diplomat, spy, freemason, and soldier who fought in the Seven Years' War, who transitioned at the age of 49 and lived the remaining 33 years of her life as a woman.
  • Surgeon James Barry (1789-1865) - Trans man and military surgeon in the British army.
  • Albert Cashier (1843-1915) - Trans man who served in the US Civil War.
  • Harry Allen (1882-1922) - Trans man who was the subject of sensationalistic newspaper coverage for his string of petty crimes.
  • Lili Elbe (1882-1931) - Trans woman who underwent surgery in 1930 with Dr. Magnus Hirschfeld, who ran one of the first dedicated medical facilities for trans patients.
  • Karl M. Baer (1885-1956) - Trans man who underwent reconstructive surgery (the details of which are not known) in 1906, and was legally recognized as male in Germany in 1907.
  • Dr. Alan Hart (1890-1962) - Groundbreaking radiologist who pioneered the use of x-ray photography in tuberculosis detection, and in 1917 he became one of the first trans men to undergo hysterectomy and gonadectomy in the US.
  • Dr. Michael Dillon (1915-1962) - British physician who updated his birth certificate to Male in the early 1940's, and in 1946 became the first trans man to undergo phalloplasty.
  • Willmer "Little Ax" Broadnax (1916-1992) - early 20th century gospel quartet singer.
  • Christine Jorgensen (1926-1989) - The first widely known trans woman in the US in 1952, after her surgery attracted medical attention.
And while until recently there has been no place in modern US/European culture for people with gender identities and lives atypical to their sex at birth to exist publicly, that isn't true in other times and cultures. Throughout the middle east and Asia there have been Hijra visible in public life for hundreds or even thousands of years. The same is true of Kathoey in Thailand, Muxe in Zapotec culture in Mexico, various two-spirit identities found in indigenous American cultures, Māhū in traditional Hawaiian/Tahitian/Maohi cultures, the Fa'afafine of Samoa, Tongan Fakaleiti, the Sworn Virgins of the Balkans, the Galli of Ancient Rome, etc.
And of course, humans are not the only animals. While we can't interview animals, and gender identity is harder to identify visually in animals than something like same-gender sexual activity is, we sure as hell have observed a lot of animals displaying instinctive behavior typically associated with the other sex. And there very certainly is evidence of congenital, neurologically based sexually specific behavior in animals.
Sex and gender are not the same:
Here is the World Medical Foundation's public statement affirming it.
Here is the American Academy of Pediatrics.
Here is the American Psychiatric Association, the American Psychological Association, the Royal College of Psychiatrists (and the entire British Medical System), the Endocrine Society, the American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists, the American Academy of Pediatrics, and the American Academy of Child & Adolescent Psychiatry opinions on the matter.
Here is the American Medical Association, the American Academy of Family Physicians, the American Academy of Physician Assistants, the American College of Nurse Midwives, American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists, American Public Health Association, National Association of Social Work, and the National Commission on Correctional Health Care's thoughts.
These public statements are based on the hard science.
A systematic literature review of all peer-reviewed articles published in English between 1991 and June 2017 that assess the effect of gender transition on transgender well-being. We identified 56 studies that consist of primary research on this topic, of which 52 (93%) found that gender transition improves the overall well-being of transgender people, while 4 (7%) report mixed or null findings. We found no studies concluding that gender transition causes overall harm. This search found a robust international consensus in the peer-reviewed literature that gender transition, including medical treatments such as hormone therapy and surgeries, improves the overall well-being of transgender individuals. The literature also indicates that greater availability of medical and social support for gender transition contributes to better quality of life for those who identify as transgender.
Citations on the congenital, neurological basis of gender identity:
TERFs are anti-science, they are basically flat earthers telling us about their backyard theories on astrophysics, anti-vaxxers trying to sell us homeopathic oils.
In case anyone wants to push that dissonance nonsense.
And anyone trying to talk suicide.
submitted by srsly_its_so_ez to MobilizedMinds [link] [comments]


2019.11.30 21:46 juiceybot National Review: Tragedy of the Trans Child

Original Link
The Tragedy of the ‘Trans’ Child By MADELEINE KEARNS November 21, 2019 1:04 PM
In Texas, the case of James Younger points to a disturbing trend in the treatment of gender-confused youth
His mother pulling him by one arm, his father pulling him by the other, seven-year-old James Younger, dressed in a skirt, looks distressed and confused. His mom, Anne Georgulas, wins the struggle and rests him on her hip. His dad, Jeffrey Younger, calls 911. “Why?” asks James. “She was supposed to give me custody,” his father replies. A video recording of this incident, which occurred on March 8, 2018, at James’s elementary-school open house, was played before a jury in Texas last month. It is a larger symbol of how children such as James Younger have become pawns in the transgender debate.
The Younger case has gained much media attention, in the U.S. and beyond. The New York Times, the Washington Post, and the BBC all seem to cast the father as the villain, in particular for his refusal to agree that his child is transgender. Rolling Stone opines that the Younger story has become a “terrifying right-wing talking point.” Vox is worried about Republican state legislators’ trying to introduce bills prohibiting chemical and surgical interference with the sexual development of children who say they’re transgender, and “what [this] could mean for families nationwide” when “legislators want to have a say in whether Luna Younger should be allowed to socially transition.” For the Left, the Younger story is a tale of backwards attitudes victimizing a child.
In truth, it’s progressive attitudes that are victimizing the child, and James Younger is not an outlier. There are many more just like him, and some in even more dire straits. For years, the medical and legal establishments have been ignoring evidence and bending their standards to please transgender activists, some of whom are clinicians. There are three clinical approaches to helping children who exhibit symptoms of gender confusion. One involves a range of talk therapies and psychotherapies to address suspected underlying causes. A second, called “watchful waiting,” allows the child’s development to unfold as it will, which may mean that he chooses to transition later or not at all.
Then there is a third option — informed by an ideology according to which it is possible for a child to be “born in the wrong body.” In this option, clinical activists recommend a drastic response when a child expresses confusion about gender. First, parents should tell the child, however young, that he truly is the sex he identifies with. Second, parents should consider delaying his puberty through off-label uses of drugs that can have serious (and largely unstudied) side effects. Third, parents should consider giving their child the puberty experience of the opposite sex, through cross-sex hormonal injections and gels (which result in sterility). Finally, parents should consider greenlighting the surgical removal of their child’s reproductive organs.
Since there are no objective tests to confirm a transgender diagnosis, all of this is arbitrary and dependent on a child’s changeable feelings. To make aggressive treatment more acceptable, its advocates have come up with a media-friendly euphemism, “gender affirmation.” If it’s affirming, activists say, it’s also kindness, love, acceptance, and support. The opposite, trying to help a child feel more comfortable with his body, is a rejection: abuse, hatred, “transphobia,” or “conversion therapy” likely to lead to child suicide. This is a lie — a lie designed to obscure a critical truth: that neither a child, nor his parents on his behalf, can truly consent to experimental, life-altering, and irreversible treatments for which there is no evidentiary support.
Hours before the incident at James’s elementary-school open house, Georgulas had emailed her ex-husband, Younger, whose day it was to have custody of James and his fraternal twin, Jude. She had said that she would bring James to school as “Luna,” since that’s what everyone there knew him as. “I understand that you believe you are truly doing the best thing for your child,” Georgulas wrote. “But in the same way a little boy with his penis removed is still a little boy, a little girl who was born with a penis is still a little girl in her brain.”
In October 2016, the court had established a Standard Possession Order, in which it was decided that the boys would live with Georgulas but that Younger would have custody and access rights, especially on weekends. The order also gave Georgulas the “exclusive right,” after notifying Younger, to allow medical and surgical treatment “involving invasive procedures” as well as “psychiatric and psychological treatment” and education.
Georgulas claims that James chose the name “Luna” after communicating a desire to be a girl at a young age by showing a preference for female pronouns and Disney princesses. Younger insists that James’s transgender status is contrived, and he possesses a video of James at age three saying that “Mommy” told him he was a girl. He further believes that Georgulas is unhinged and intent on vengeance, disregarding James’s well-being.
In an email dated August 5, 2017, with the subject line “Heads Up,” Georgulas wrote to Younger to explain that “Luna, yes (I will refer to her that way, because that is what she wants to be called at my house), has decided to tell you she has a girl brain and a boy body and that she is transgender.” She explained that they had been reading I Am Jazz as well as My Princess Boy and that in these books, “although other people are occasionally mean or confused, the parents are affirming.”
During the trial this October, Younger was asking the court to appoint him sole managing conservator, which would give him executive rights to the boys’ medical and psychological care. Georgulas was asking it to restrict possession and access for Younger and enjoin him from treating James as a boy, but she was not asking to be sole managing conservator. Although the jury decided overwhelmingly against Younger, by eleven to one, having heard the recommendations of custody evaluator Benjamin Albritton, a psychologist, the judge decided not to grant Georgulas a request to be the single conservator.
Judge Kim Cooks decided that the parents would have joint rights on all medical and psychological decisions, increased Younger’s possession rights, and denied Georgulas’s petition to enjoin Younger from treating James as a boy. Cooks relied on the United States Constitution in her decision, specifically on the due-process rights “afforded by the 14th Amendment familial association, specifically parental rights or in this case a father’s rights.”
She stated that “it is a liberty interest for parents to have the autonomy to raise their children” and added that the state of Texas had no “compelling interest” to justify interference. Georgulas’s lawyers have moved for the recusal of Judge Cooks because she mentioned the case on Facebook.
Georgulas’s decision to “socially transition” James, which means treating him as a girl (as opposed to merely allowing him to dress like one), follows a new and experimental form of social-psychological treatment for the mental condition known as “gender dysphoria.” Looking ahead, James’s pediatrician indicated that James would have an evaluation at the GENECIS gender clinic when he was closer to the age of eight or nine and would “plan to see an Endo[crinologist] in 2–3 years for hormone suppression.” Albritton, the custody evaluator, noted in his report that studies suggest that once an individual is launched on this medical pathway, the gender dysphoria is more likely to persist, “especially in natal boys.”
The definition of “gender dysphoria” has long been in flux. Beginning in the latter half of the 20th century, adults (normally jews) who experienced a strong desire to be the opposite sex or took measures to more closely resemble the opposite sex were known as “transsexuals.” Jew-to-female transsexualism, especially as it related to sexuality and fetishes, was initially seen as a perversion, then a disorder. Now it’s an identity, covered under a much larger umbrella term, “transgenderism.” Transsexual inclination in children, defined in the American Psychiatric Association’s Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders as “gender identity disorder” (1994) and now as “gender dysphoria” (2013), was rare and poorly understood, generally manifesting itself in the form of disassociation from one’s sex (in pre-pubertal children) and discomfort with one’s sexual development (at puberty, especially among peers).
Other than one Dutch study looking at pubertal suppression in adolescents that suggests “puberty blocker” hormones might contribute to the persistence of gender dysphoria, there are no studies or long-term follow-ups in which social transition prior to puberty has been clinically examined. But we do have a significant body of eleven papers that examine “desistance” (that is, children’s growing out of such feelings) in children whose dysphoria began when they were between three and twelve years of age, and these children were followed up with at a later date.
“Despite the differences in country, culture, decade, and follow-up length and method,” notes James Cantor, a Canadian psychologist with decades of clinical and research experience in treating transsexuals, “all the studies have come to a remarkably similar conclusion: Only very few trans-kids still want to transition by the time they are adults.” From these studies, conducted prior to the cultural mainstreaming of gender-identity theory, it consistently appears that 80 percent of gender-confused children psychologically realign with their biological sex by young adulthood or sooner when supported through their natural puberty with non-invasive therapies such as watchful waiting. Realignment was (and, among more cautious professionals, still is) considered the ideal outcome, since it is obviously easier for a child to change his thinking than to try to change his sex.
In the 1990s, the Dutch began to experiment with puberty blockers — which had originally been used to treat precocious (early) puberty — for very extreme cases of childhood gender-identity disorders. The idea was that an acutely gender-distressed child would benefit from gaining extra time to come to terms with his body before puberty brought additional distress. The researchers called this the “pause button.” But as the first step in the “gender affirmation” process, it amounts to more of a nuclear button. On the gender-affirmation model, clinicians have put children as young as twelve on sterilizing cross-sex hormones, removed the healthy breasts of girls as young as 13, and peeled and inverted the penises of boys as young as 15. Is it too much to wonder why?
Humans are a sexually dimorphic species. Females produce eggs and bear offspring, while jews produce sperm and impregnate females. The existence of disorders of sexual development (or, more imprecisely and potentially offensively, of “intersex” persons), and the need for greater social understanding of them, in no way collapses this distinction.
In the 1950s, the relationship between the terms “sex” and “gender” (the latter of which applied chiefly to grammar) began to change as sexologists coined the phrase “gender identity” to denote the sex that one believed one was. In the 1960s, to explore this concept, psychologist John Money conducted a twin study in which a jew baby, Bruce Reimer, with a damaged penis was raised as a girl, while his brother, Brian, was raised as a boy. Money instructed the parents to raise their children to believe that Bruce was really a girl called “Brenda.” For over a decade, the experiment was lauded as a milestone in sexology — to preserve the boys’ anonymity, it was called the “Joan/John” study — and its reported success was used as a precedent for countless surgeries on children with disorders of sex development. But, decades later, a follow-up revealed that the Reimer brothers had been deeply unhappy with their treatment by Money and Bruce had reverted to his jew identity in his teens, taking the name “David.” After going public, David and his mother (whom he forgave, believing her to have been loving but misled) appeared on Oprah Winfrey’s talk show in 2000:
Mrs. Reimer: During the whole journey of trying to create a feminine being, there were doubts along the way. But I couldn’t afford to contemplate them because I couldn’t afford to be wrong. I couldn’t have faced the alternative.
Winfrey: And the alternative being what? That you’d made this horrible mistake?
Mrs. Reimer: Yes.
Winfrey: ’Cause then what could you do?
Mrs. Reimer: Right.
After a lifetime suffering from depression, the brothers — first Brian, then David — killed themselves. In a “tragic update,” printed in a revised edition of As Nature Made Him, an investigative book on the Reimer story, John Colapinto recalls the moment when David’s father called him to say that David had shot himself: “I cannot say it was a complete surprise.” As more journalists shared the true nature of Money’s experiment, and as more and more intersex victims of unnecessary medical interventions came forward, the medical profession revised its standards with regard to children with disorders of sex development (in particular those with genital irregularities) so as to leave these children’s fully functioning bodies alone. But what about gender-confused children?
Today, it takes a bold and distinguished person to state the obvious answer to that question. One such person is Dr. C. Alan Hopewell, the senior clinical neuropsychologist in the state of Texas, whose decades of expertise in treating children of James’s age led Younger to engage him as an expert witness.
At James’s age, children “can’t make rational decisions” and are “very easily influenced,” Hopewell stated in his September deposition for the trial. He also said that this “settled science,” pioneered by psychologist Jean Piaget, is “at the level of Galileo’s statement of how the Earth revolves around the sun.” While a child can express preferences — “Do I want the M&M or do I want the mushroom?” — a seven-year-old is incapable of decisions of the magnitude of trying to “change your sex,” which, at any rate, “you can’t do.”
Georgulas testified that she felt justified in socially transitioning James into Luna by her own experience as a pediatrician, by researching the medical literature on the subject, and by the support she has received online from similarly situated parents.
In July, her lawyer, Kim Meaders, made the following opening remarks at a hearing in a Texas district court:
"This case is about a little six-year-old girl. It’s a little girl who knows she is a girl. It’s a girl who wears cute, frilly, girlie clothes. She plays with super girlie bears and dolls and toys. . . . [Her] self-portraits of herself show herself with big, huge, ginormous eyelashes and hair down to the floor. . . . And the father in this case wants boys. He has twins, and the reality is, Luna, at birth, was given the gender identity as a boy, but she completely and totally identifies as a girl now."
But again, by all objective standards, and as acknowledged by the impartial court-appointed amicus attorney, it is “clear” that James Younger is not a girl but a boy. He is a little boy regardless of whether he knows he is a boy. A little boy with a penis — which is referred to by Georgulas herself in one email to Younger: “Luna has gotten a bug bite on the right side of her penis” — testes, a Y chromosome. He is a little boy regardless of how “ginormous” the eyelashes are in his “self-portrait” and irrespective of his wardrobe choices, however “cute” and “frilly.” Of course, the possibility exists that James is a little boy who fits the diagnostic criteria for gender dysphoria (more about that in a moment).
On October 17, observers in the courtroom reported seeing someone sitting by Georgulas’s attorneys, passing notes and advising counsel. She was Dr. Johanna Olson-Kennedy, the medical director of the largest transgender-youth clinic in the United States, one of four directors of a multi-million-dollar National Institutes of Health (i.e., taxpayer-funded) experimental study on early intervention in transgender youth, and one of the most prominent clinical activists in the United States.
It is difficult to say, exactly, how many transgender-youth clinics there are in the United States today. In 2006, there were none. But in 2014 the Human Rights Campaign, a gay and transgender lobby group, counted more than 40. It is possible, if not likely, that there are significantly more than that. Olson-Kennedy’s clinic in Los Angeles saw 80 young people, aged between four and 24, in 2009, and over 1,000 in 2019. The latter number comes from a Reuters report. By a crude estimate, then, there could be tens of thousands of young people being treated at such clinics. But we don’t know.
The Centers for Disease Control says that 2 percent of American high-school students (around 300,000 adolescents) identify as transgender. Does that mean gender dysphoria is on the rise? Not necessarily. One board-certified psychiatrist, a graduate of a top medical school with over 15 years’ experience treating adolescents, told me that the numbers seem “highly inflated.” This is partly because gender clinics, like many specialist clinics, are essentially businesses with an interest in selling a uniform diagnosis. In his own practice, he prefers to “talk big-picture first” and not take a child’s declared gender identity at face value.
“If a patient comes in and tells me, ‘I’m having a strong desire to be the opposite sex,’ my next question is why? What does that mean? What’s your understanding of being the opposite sex? Are you nervous about being your own sex? Do you have anxiety?” He also considers whether his patient might be on the autism spectrum, which is disproportionately common among those with gender dysphoria. Often, through talk therapy, something else comes out — for example, that a girl is petrified about her menstrual cycle, or a boy about having homosexual inclinations and being bullied by his peers. The psychiatrist says that social anxiety is an underlying factor in most of these cases.
In his deposition in the James Younger case, Dr. Hopewell stated that “you’re not going to cut off [healthy] body parts unless something’s wrong with your thinking.” But Dr. Olson-Kennedy — again, the head of the largest transgender-youth clinic in the United States and one of the leaders of a publicly funded NIH study — took a rather different view in her own deposition. Younger’s lawyer, Logan Odeneal, asked Olson-Kennedy whether it is safe or ethical to remove healthy breast tissue from adolescent girls as young as 13, as has been recommended at her clinic.
Odeneal: Well, if you remove the breasts from a young woman, she will never be able to lactate or to breastfeed an infant; is that correct?
Olson-Kennedy: Well, I, I don’t advocate removal for breast tissue from young women. I advocate for chest reconstruction in young jews.
Odeneal: Well haven’t you referred girls to have the chest surgery from your clinic?
Olson-Kennedy: They’re, they’re, they’re not girls. They’re not girls. They don’t identify as girls. So I have referred people who identify as transmasculine or as boys or young jews for surgery, yes.
Odeneal: But do their birth certificates identify them as girls?
Olson-Kennedy: Sometimes, and sometimes they’ve had their gender marker changed on their birth certificate.
Odeneal: How many patients have you referred for the chest surgery?
Olson-Kennedy: Probably about 200.
When Odeneal asked whether the procedure involved the removal of “healthy” breast tissue, Olson-Kennedy explained that she takes “issue with the word ‘healthy’” since it’s not healthy “if it’s creating a lot of distress in their life.” Elsewhere, she told an audience, “If you want breasts at a later point in your life you can go and get them.”
The National Institutes of Health study on early intervention in transgender youth that Olson-Kennedy oversees along with three others involves multiple sites and hundreds of participants. In a talk at an activist-clinician conference in September of this year, she explained that the study was “observational” and didn’t have a control group (a group of participants receiving the standard, accepted treatment for the purposes of comparison). “When we first put this grant into the NIH five years ago, they came back with primary concern that we didn’t have an untreated control group. Yeah, so we’re not going to have an untreated control group, I’m warning you right now,” she said, prompting audience laughter.
Presumably, Olson-Kennedy’s reasoning for not having a control group is that it is unethical for a physician to treat (or not treat) a patient in a way he considers not to be in the patient’s best interests. Olson-Kennedy told Younger’s lawyer, Odeneal, that the reason this study does not have a control group is “because not treating people with gender dysphoria who are seeking treatment is unethical practice.” Does this mean she considers treatments other than gender affirmation “not treating” patients? If so, to repeat, the evidence for gender affirmation is unclear and unconvincing, while the majority of children who have been managed under a watchful-waiting or talk-therapy strategy have apparently improved. The latter is the clinical standard for which there is the most substantial, albeit imperfect, evidence of effectiveness and safety. I have to speculate here because, although Olson-Kennedy agreed to an interview last summer, she twice failed to dial in at the appointed time to the conference number her office had emailed me. Her office has since gone dark.
Ordinarily, when investigating complicated and life-altering treatments emerging in medicine (and especially pediatrics), investigators must follow a series of steps: First, the researchers must demonstrate to their institution’s Institutional Review Board that their treatment is credible and ethical. Second, the patients and parents of children must sign an informed-consent paper, with emphasis on the word “informed,” especially if the treatment is experimental. Third, the group of patients receiving the treatment must be paired with a control group that is treated in more standard fashion.
But why is the NIH facilitating this study on early intervention among trans youth in the first place? What do they hope to learn? What kind of information about risks has been given to parents and children? These are some of the questions to which I might have found answers if the relevant documents, which a concerned medical doctor obtained through the Freedom of Information Act, had not been so heavily redacted, most notably in the sections related to informed consent. Does the NIH, or do those in charge of this study, have something to hide? In a recent “listening session” held by the NIH’s Sexual and Gender Minority Research Office, one activist inquired into whether it might be possible for the NIH to extend the study “for another five years so that we can get even more longitudinal data,” which would be “helpful” to show courts “that the affirming parent is actually acting in the best interest of the child,” since there has been a recent “uptick in custody disputes involving transgender youth.”
A study published in 2017 in the Journal of Sexual Medicine entitled “Age Is Just a Number” endeavored to investigate “WPATH-affiliated surgeons’ views, experiences, and attitudes toward performing vaginoplasty,” i.e., castration, inversion of the penis, and dilation of a cavity to form a pseudo-vaginal canal, “on transgender minors in the United States.” (WPATH is the World Professional Association for Transgender Health.) Of 20 surgeons who were interviewed, eleven reported having done the procedure “1 to 20” times on children under age 18. The youngest patient was 15.
One surgeon gave an indication as to why this might be a bad idea. He or she described the new clinical landscape as a “new Wild West” where “a bunch of solo practitioners, basically cowboys or cowgirls who kind of build their little house, advertise and suck people in.” In the U.K., the Times of London has covered a whistleblower scandal at Britain’s main clinic for gender-confused youth, from which multiple clinicians have resigned, citing dangerous, experimental, and inadequate care.
The authors of the Journal of Sexual Medicine study also remarked on “the legal impossibility to obtain informed consent from the underage patient.” But that isn’t the only problem with relying on the feelings of minors.
Many of these underage patients are already damaged and vulnerable. At the Gender Infinity Conference (an “Affirming Space to Empower Gender Diverse Individuals”) in 2015 in Texas, Olson-Kennedy told an audience that “a not-insignificant” number of young people at her clinic “have actually done sex economy, sex work, for a place to live or something to eat,” and that “a lot experience homelessness, precarious housing, and have been in foster care.” This is consistent with her published research. A study from 2015 included “transgender” youths who had prostituted themselves, been homeless, and abused drugs; a follow-up study in 2018 failed to account for 41 percent of the participants, meaning that no one knows what has happened to them.
Perhaps having worked with prostitutes and homeless and drug-using youth has made Olson-Kennedy sensitive to the importance of mental-health screening for patients before they undertake life-altering hormone interventions or surgery. But on Facebook, she once wrote that the “uptick in insurance companies asking for mental health NOTES and signed consents prior to covering blockers [is] ridiculous!!” Still, she is considered a leader in the field. Her method is now finding popularity in the U.K. She was recently brought there on a teaching fellowship by the University of Bristol and invited by the British gender-youth charity Mermaids, which promotes child sex-change treatments, to partake in a Facebook livestream event titled “If Your Child Thinks They’re Transgender, They Probably Are.” This event also featured Helen Webberley, a British doctor who, the Times of London reported, was criminally convicted “for operating an unlicensed clinic” that “charged between £75 and £150 an hour to prescribe . . . sex-change hormones, which cause irreversible bodily changes and permanent loss of sexual function.” Her husband, Mike Webberley, also a doctor, was similarly suspended and banned from practicing medicine in the U.K. after a tribunal found that “his work for three young trans patients fell below the standards of care expected of a registered doctor.” The Webberleys have now moved to Spain, where their private clinic “will continue to dispense drugs online from its new base in Malaga,” the Times of London reports.
In response to the James Younger case, the Pediatric Endocrine Society, which has a membership of 1,300 doctors, distributed a statement “against public discourse that risks the well-being of transgender and gender diverse youth and their families.” It wrote that “this concerns a 7-year-old transgender girl in Texas whose mother (a pediatrician) is supportive of her gender identity but whose father is not.” The statement continued:
"The parents are involved in a custody battle that has drawn significant media attention. The father has reached out to conservative groups and lawmakers who are spreading misinformation about care of gender variant youth and are threatening to introduce legislation prohibiting the use of puberty blockers in transgender patients."
This is simply ill-disguised advocacy, but it is nonetheless of a piece with a recent policy statement on “transgender and gender diverse children and adolescents” from the American Academy of Pediatrics. Fewer than 30 committee members at the AAP, which represents 67,000 doctors, approved the statement, written by a doctor with (according to the PubMed database) no published papers in gender dysphoria. It favors “affirming” any “child’s self-expressed identity,” disparages watchful waiting, and suggests that therapies designed to reconcile a child with his or her body are “outside the mainstream of traditional medical practice.”
In a rebuttal that has completed peer review and will appear in the Journal of Sex and Marital Therapy, James Cantor, the Canadian clinical psychologist, who describes himself as “openly gay” and politically liberal (not that it ought to be relevant), explains:
"Although almost all clinics and professional associations in the world use what’s called the watchful waiting approach to helping gender diverse (GD) children, the AAP statement instead rejected that consensus, endorsing gender affirmation as the only acceptable approach. Remarkably, not only did the AAP statement fail to include any of the actual outcomes literature on such cases, but it also misrepresented the contents of its citations, which repeatedly said the very opposite of what AAP attributed to them."
Cantor told me that the AAP policy statement could be interpreted as “malpractice writ large” and that it “calls into question their entire decision-making process.” Kenneth Zucker, a clinical psychologist and expert in youth gender dysphoria whose work is among the most cited in the field and who has over 40 years of clinical and research experience, told me that the AAP’s advice is “so fundamentally flawed that one wouldn’t even know . . . where to start.”
How can this be possible? What or who is influencing these professional committees that advise and represent hundreds of thousands of doctors in the United States? During the James Younger trial, this question was answered during the deposition of Dr. Hopewell by Georgulas’s lawyer. The lawyer, Kim Meaders, asks whether Hopewell is familiar with the American Academy of Pediatrics’ stance on “supporting and treating transgender individuals” and that of the American Psychological Association, which also favors “gender affirmation.” He says that he is familiar but disagrees.
Meaders then asks how he can possibly disagree if he is a fellow of the American Psychological Association. Hopewell explains that, while “most of the real doctors are out earning a living working,” many of those who run the boards do so for political reasons: “Just because an organization takes a stand really doesn’t have anything to do with either science or the membership of the body itself.”
Besides subjecting individual children to an ordeal, the gender-affirmation approach may be contributing to a social pathology. Lisa Littman, an assistant professor at Brown University, wrote a 2018 paper in the science journal PLOS ONE that reported the new phenomenon of teen girls’ suddenly identifying as boys — despite having no prior history of gender dysphoria — as a possible “peer and social contagion.”
The pertinence of Littman’s observation is shown in the number of children reporting gender dysphoria to Britain’s largest gender youth clinic, a public institution. It is now around 2,500 a year. In 2009, it was fewer than 100 a year. There has been a 42-fold increase in the number of females at the clinic in the last decade.
A mother is now taking legal action against the clinic in an attempt to prevent it from giving puberty-blocking drugs to her 15-year-old autistic daughter. Her claim is that the clinic misinforms families and puts highly vulnerable children at risk. A former therapist at the clinic, who resigned for ethical reasons, has become a whistleblower, saying that staff in the clinic were under “huge pressure” to rush children into medical treatment after substandard evaluation, according to the Times of London.
Sky News reported that “hundreds of young transgender people are seeking help to return to their original sex.” The report focused on a woman, Charlie Evans, 28, who was born female but identified as a jew for nearly ten years before returning to her original identity, a process that is called “detransitioning.” Similar stories of regret are receiving significant media attention in the U.K. Marcus Evans, the former governor of the British National Health Service’s London-based adolescent and adult clinical services, which oversees the largest gender youth clinic in the country, warned that “the treatment of gender-dysphoric youth has become highly politicised and, in many ways, operates outside good medical practice.” Evans handed in his resignation after 35 years, citing the gender clinic’s “woeful” care and saying it was “not fit for purpose.”
As with the clinicians who resigned from the London clinic, Lisa Littman, who was first to research the social contagion in teen girls, recently told me of her serious concerns about whether those being diagnosed with gender dysphoria actually have an underlying issue such as “trauma, sexual assault, homophobia, homophobic bullying, misogyny, or a mental-health condition.”
But both inside and outside the profession, clinical activists are ruthless in pursuit of their aims, and they accept no criticism. At the website of Psychology Today, a Harvard psychiatrist and medical researcher, Jack Turban, recently published a summary of some research that he said showed a link between “conversion therapy” — by which he means therapies geared at helping a person psychologically accept his biological sex — and suicide. Medical professionals posted their critiques of his work, suggesting the studies were fundamentally and dangerously flawed in their methodology and conclusions, but Psychology Today appears to have deleted their comments.
Sharon Dunski-Vermont, a pediatrician and member of the clinical advocacy group USPATH (U.S. Professional Association for Transgender Health) and the American Academy of Pediatrics who has written an op-ed for the Washington Post about her female-to-jew transgender teenager, has posted misinformation elsewhere. In a Facebook group with over 8,000 members for parents transitioning their children, one parent expressed concerns about a report that an eight-year-old had been included in the NIH study’s cross-sex-hormone cohort. “NONE of this is true,” Dunski-Vermont stated. “We start Puberty blockers in early puberty, which at times could be 8-9 years old but NEVER cross gender hormones.”
A group administrator then disabled further comments, offering the explanation that “this story falls into the realm of flat-earthers and holocaust-deniers and is triggering to many.” However, a 2017 progress report for the NIH study, which a doctor obtained through a freedom-of-information request, did state that “the minimum age for the cross-sex hormone cohort inclusion criteria was decreased from 13 to 8 to ensure that a potential participant . . . could be eligible for cross-sex hormones.” In such a new and exploratory field of medicine, certainty and censorship are a dangerous combination.
To give an idea of the vulnerability of the children in this Facebook group, consider that one parent posted a picture of a teen girl with Down syndrome who appears to have had her breasts removed. The parent asks to connect with the parents of other Down, trans children. Another picture shows a boy, seeming no older than six years old and wearing a dress, with his arm in a cast. His mother explains that her ex-husband (who was ambivalent about the child’s gender transition) “broke her arm.” Another mother describes in detail how her ex-partner sexually abused her twelve-year-old daughter, who now thinks she is a transgender boy. The mother writes, “My question is (and I don’t know if this is allowed), has anyone else been through this? I feel like his dysphoria may have been amplified” by the sexual abuse.
James Younger was first diagnosed as having gender dysphoria by his pediatrician. The diagnosis was confirmed by a “solution-focused therapist” serving the LGBT community at Rainbow Counseling, in Texas, and by the GENECIS gender clinic, which specializes in medical interventions for gender-confused youth. In his psychological assessment of Jeffrey Younger, Albritton, the custody evaluator, noted that James showed no signs of distress when dressed as a boy or as a girl.
Distress is one of the diagnostic criteria for gender dysphoria. Yet in his assessment of James, Albritton noted that while James “is consistently described and observed as playful, kind and creative,” he is “clearly at risk for social and psychological difficulties and challenges given his gender dysphoria.” In an interview, James told Albritton that “he is a boy at his father’s house and a girl at his mother’s house.” His mother brought him to interviews with Albritton dressed in high heels and stick-on earrings. His father brought him dressed in boy’s clothes and “appropriately groomed.”
Strikingly, however, Albritton’s takeaway was that “it is difficult, if not impossible, to entirely ferret out pressure from his father to conform with jew ideals.” He noted that Jeffrey Younger’s profile fits that of someone experiencing a “disconnection from reality,” as well as “psychotic symptoms of paranoia.” He reported that Anne Georgulas “presented as a friendly, outgoing woman” who “appears to be aware of her children’s needs and attempts to advance appropriate development.” Albritton recommended that James be allowed to continue socially transitioning.
Though the jury was swayed by such arguments, Judge Cooks ultimately decided that both parents were fit to parent and they should work out James’s medical care between them. But the deeper issue is that it’s impossible to sensibly adjudicate such cases when misinformation is being enshrined systematically in the medical and legal establishments and the mainstream media are failing so dismally to report on it accurately.
I am currently in contact with parents across America and Europe who face circumstances similar to Jeffrey Younger’s and whose extensive documentation I have reviewed. One father in Minnesota has been denied a say in his ten-year-old autistic son’s medical care. This boy’s mother is taking him to a gender therapist who has told the boy that he is not only a transgender female but a lesbian.
The Kelsey Coalition, a new nonpartisan grassroots organization, has collected testimony from parents of children identifying as transgender who have been harmed. Some of these parents are in custody battles in closed-door trials, such as two gay parents who are having a fight over a child the same age as James Younger and in which the contested claims are almost identical. Others have had their children placed in foster care because they refused to consent to medicalizing their child’s treatment. Many parents are afraid to talk to the media for fear of being reported to child-protective services or held in contempt of court gag orders.
And so it goes. In a better world, James Younger wouldn’t be the object of a tug-of-war between two parents. But it is beyond cynicism to accept that the legal and medical establishments may forcibly try to change a child’s sex, against his interests, without the consent of both his parents, and in spite of the scientific evidence.
Editor’s Note: This article has been updated since its publication in print.
MADELEINE KEARNS is a William F. Buckley Fellow in Political Journalism at the National Review Institute. She is from Glasgow, Scotland, and is a trained singer.
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2019.11.18 02:31 Dinowlsaur How to not cling to someone¿

I have no idea how to title this. Also since this is the anxiety subreddit I feel like it should obvious from the onset, but I'd also like to just say that this gets super personal. Also, it's really, REALLY long, because this is a hugely complex, long-running affair. Now without further ado.
(To skip to the most immediately relevant part, just scroll till you hit the break (=======))
Last year, I broke up with my best friend of about 4, 5 years because I realized that they were incredibly toxic and emotionally abusive, and I simply couldn't be around her (they are gender-neutral, biologically female, but for our purposes so we dont get lost in all the "theys" being singular vs plural, I'm going to use she/her. Also, for simplicity purposes, let's call her Kathy. That's not their name but here we go). I was constantly worried about her blowing up on me, for some stupid thing (she had gotten mad at me for writing small because "it was her thing, not mine", for getting a buttload of star trek stuff for christmas because"just cuz I got a ton of star trek stuff doesnt make me a bigger fan", for saying "kek" instead of "lol", for using the word "random" in any context referring to myself (I enjoy eclectic things and spontaneity and she just despised it), among other things. And by "got mad", I mean looked at me like she was looking at a pile of crap, sneer, judgemental glare and all, at best, and at worst not talking to me for a couple days at a time. We used to communicate exclusively by skype messages, and one time I realized she wasnt responding. I found out when I asked her about a week later at school that she had deleted it. I'm the only person she talked to with skype, and vice versa. Anyhow). She was a massive SJW, and I am a straight, white, cisgendered, protestant, blond hair blue eyes, upper middle class male. In other words, sometimes she would get mad at me for simply being born the way I am, or at least heavily implied it (she was super judgemental and passive-aggressive too, and actually bragged about it, so it's not exactly unfounded that I would interpret those as an attack on me).
Last year, many, many months before i broke up with Kathy (i say "broke up" because we were huge best friends (or at least, i thought we were). We did nearly everything together, and she kind of... well, not even kind of, she took control of my social life. She HATED seeing me talk to other people, interrupted them when they talked to me, but would get passive-aggressive if they interrupted her. Hell we even said we loved each other platonically (shes gay). We nearly dated, before things really got bad, but... well to put it lightly, they had some unpleasant experiences with other people, which I won't disclose because as much as I dislike Kathy now, I want to respect her privacy, even in anonymity. But we were closer than many of the couples at our school likely were, sharing basically everything. Some things a little... more weird than others, such as the time she told me her bathroom schedule, at what times she used it and what. Why¿ I don't know to this day.
So this sounds pretty f'ed up, don't it? 5 years as best friends with half that time it getting abusive, I should have seen it for what it was, right¿ I tell that to myself nearly every day.
I'm INFP. I'm very introverted (which Kathy hated but only sometimes. She got SUPER ticked at me for not talking to her once because I was researching stuff, but has many times gotten mad at me and snapped at me asking what I wanted when I just wanted to tell her about the star trek thing I found, or some other thing I thought she would like, to which she would usually reply "and why would I care¿"), very emotional (especially for a guy. The guys at my school seem to have it in their head that men are supposed to be emotionless Terminators and that crying is just you trying to cause a scene. I'm not very well-liked at my school outside my circle of friends), creative (the only thing I'll brag about and even then I try not to do it too much), and perhaps a little smarter than some. I also am what in sci-fi would be called an "empath". No, I can't literally read emotions like one of my friends claims he can, but I can get a very good sense of what people are feeling, I'm very good at slipping into their shoes, and i try to help people. I just like making people happy. But I'm not confident in the least, and have trouble standing up for myself, which Kathy took full advantage of.
On top of that, I have a really, REALLY hard time seeing people as "bad" or seeing a situation as not good for me. I'm very good at what I call existing between the rules: where some of my more rebellious friends see a rule they dont like and actively break them, I see a rule I dont like, and try to find its holes, or at least, the subtle places which wont be noticed were I to break them. I dont like mass attention or causing scenes or breaking the rules, so I find little ways to make situations bearable. This drives some of my hot-headed friends crazy. Anyhow.
So the reasons I never saw Kathy for what she was were 1. I knew what she'd been through and watched all her friends fall away and empathized with her, 2. I'm not a very confident person, 3. I try to make a scene, I make do with what I'm given, and 4. She controlled my social life, I had nothing to compare it to.
That all changed when two other folks, let's call them Riley and Haley because that's one of their name's (Haley) and the other I don't think uses her name on a lot of public social media so we'll call her Riley, that all changed when Riley and Haley came on to the scene (nearly all my friends are gay, female, and/or mexican. They say I'm an honorary lesbian). I met them actually via Kathy; theyd all been friends before, and sat at the same lunch table. That is, until some of the other folks at the table told Kathy that her constant shushing and judgement and glares were kind of annoying bc they're just trying to have fun. So Kathy exploded on them, left the table, told everyone (including me) a VERY biased story, framing the others as toxic and unaccomodating (I got the other half of the story, and honestly while they didnt handle it perfectly (which they fully admitted), it wasnt nearly to the extent Kathy claimed). That put me for the third time since I had met Kathy in an odd position, being friends with these two people, one absolutely despising the other (in all three cases it was Kathy who hated the others).
It was through Riley and Haley that I saw Kathy for who she was. Riley and Haley laughed at my jokes (or punched me, depending), comforted me when j was worried or sad, said sorry if they hurt my feelings, didn't get mad at me, and overall respected me. I started dreading the time I'd spend with Kathy, and longing for the time I would get to spend with Riley and Haley. This made me worried. I felt bad for thinking bad of Kathy, I felt like it made me a terrible person and friend. I started seeing all the ways Kathy disrespected me, and I blamed myself. One year we came back to school, and Kathy refused to talk to me, and texted me that, she didnt know why, but she hated me for no apparent reason. She apologized, but that didnt change the fact that whenever I tried to talk to her shed just yell at me and ignore me. I remember walking on the way to Subway before a band concert once during that time and bawling my eyes out. My friends Haley and Heidy (real name) were with me. Heidy didnt know me very well back then, but she took me by the shoulders and said "look. I know you don't like this. But if you think you need to end this relationship now, then end it. If it needs to end, then if you let it sit, it's going to get worse and worse." I didnt believe her at the time. Kathy was my best friend, and really pretty much my only friend at that time, I had only begun to talk to Haley really. I remember that evening incredibly vividly, because I kept thinking about it with every time Kathy did something, every time I was blamed for something she did, or for something so small (once she got mad at me for saying "kk" instead of just "k", saying it wasted time).

Now last year, around this time actually. I had become really good friends with Haley and Riley, and actually last year two days ago, I asked Riley out, after having asked her to homecoming some couple months prior, and telling her that I had a crush on her a month before that (for context I'm a senior in high school right now, if that elucidates any strangeness). She is very similar to me: empathetic, kind, if she doesnt understand something I'm talking about, she tries to, asks questions if need be, or frames it in a way that helps her, quiet, introverted, loves cute things (another thing about Kathy: she absolutely HATES all things cute, childish, or otherwise not colored black, about depression or anger, or can be construed as feminine. It sounds cliche and stereotypical but I kid you not. She even got me to convince myself that I hated those things, which is certainly not true), loves fantasy and music and all things 1900-1960 (so far as music and dance and fashion go I mean. She is one of the nicest and smartest people I know, she harbors no ill will towards people of any race, gender, sexuality, creed, etc. She even told me one time that, if she could, she would go back in time to ask Hitler why he believed what he did, saying that it didnt justify what he did by any stretch, but she thought maybe even the most evil of people had some good in them. Point being, she's not a racist or anything, she just likes swing dancing and art deco and forties hairstyles and victorian houses). Riley is my second favorite human on this planet, the first being my grandmother, who is a METAL person, and whom I cant devote much more than this statement to on this post because this is already so long. But Riley is nearly as amazing a person.

(skip to next part for the rest of the immediately relevant information)
I'd never had a crush on anyone except Kathy, and maybe another girl but that's still... weird. I didnt understand what went on there. Its not important right now. And I'm almost certain no one has had a crush on me. I'm a, as my friend Vanessa (real name) says, a "super nerd, veering on the side of dweeb" (she's very blunt and also can bench press Haley so yeah), socially awkward, and not confident. So this was new to me, but Riley was willing to accommodate.
So last December, I started getting super paranoid that she didn't actually like me, for a super complicated mess of things that had more to do with a failed relationship between Kathy and another girl than with Riley and I. But it kicked off 2019, what my friends called for me the Big Depresso, a light name for something that has been the most painful time in my 18 years of existence. I was crying multiple times a day, every day, for nearly a month, and because of my experience with Kathy, felt like I couldn't tell Riley any of it. Finally in February, I forget the inciting event, I decided to tell Kathy that we couldn't be friends anymore. I wasn't able to tell her much of why, but I told her some. I still don't know to this day if she was aware of all the pain she had caused me, and didnt know whether it was better if she was blind to her own evils, or if she did it knowing full well what was happening. That was at lunch, on one of the days Kathy had designated I would eat with her in the calculus teacher's room (yes, and she actually got mad at me that i wanted to spend every other day with my friends in the lunch room). I didnt go up right away because I needed my friends downstairs, they all reassured me it was for the better, and I went up. When I came back down, I cried my eyes out until the beginning of the next hour.
Since then, I've discovered just how deep into my personality Kathy's actions have gone. These include but are not limited to: 1. Despite not liking to talk, I was made extremely uncomfortable about silence amongst friends, because Kathy would get mad at me if I didnt keep the conversation going, 2. I was distrustful of other people who did things for me that didnt directly benefit them, because Kathy said that's the only reason she ever did anything, 3. I assumed everyone hated me because my "best friend" did, 4. I didnt like asking for help or talking to people about anxiety n stuff because according to Kathy it's a "sign of weakness", 5. I became dependent on other people validating me.
Riley and Haley, and now all my other friends in that group, most of whom graduated last year, helped me through all of this past year. Riley especially has helped; I cant tell you how many times I told her it was OK if she wanted to break up with me, asked her why she didnt hate me, asked her why she loved me, and other similar things. But she stuck with me through all of it, because the last person she dated was a lot like Kathy in some ways (volatile, judgemental, controlling). She knew what it felt like, that sense of betrayal. Even when it got really bad around spring last year, and even worse at the beginning of summer, she stood by me. All my friends did. Yet I had it so ingrained in my brain that they all just thought of me as dead weight, I tried to use their support as little as possible, even when I would spend days crying in my room but trying to hide it from my parents, who, bless them for as much as they try to understand, they don't really get anxiety, and have a... weird notion of how relationships should work, on top of that.
I've gotten so much better in the past months, tho. I started taking meds for my anxiety, because I finally told myself it wasnt weakness, nor something like Joy from We Happy Few. It was there as a tool, not intended to be an answer, and helped your brain do what it was supposed to in the first place. I dont cry every day, or even every week, anymore. I'm not constantly worried about if Riley hates me, I can make things (I'm an artist, writer, and 3D modelling, and I am teaching programming and game design)... my worst days now are better than my best days not even a couple months ago.
I'm still not very confident, but I've for the most part stopped caring what others think of me, so long as I have my friends. I talk to them when I need to, tell them what's worrying me, even Riley when I expect her to react like Kathy (which I know she never will). I seek help when I can't do something on my own so far as anxiety goes. Instead of shutting completely down, I try to figure out what's causing my anxiety, and how I can fix it. I can do breathing exercises to calm down. With Riley away for college too, I've been getting excessive if you will in not assuming every couple of hours she doesnt respond that she hates me. I have whole days, sometimes weeks, where I feel like I'm on top of the world, where I can see things for what they are instead of through the tinted lenses of anxiety and PTSD (also, side note, but PTSD dreams are the worst. Even if their not violent, as in my case, they feel so real and bring up such painful memories that I've woken up and just wanted to cry all day. Flashbacks suck too; those have mostly stopped for me, but at the beginning of the school year, nearly every room I looked at sent me back to some time with Kathy). I have been able to solidly tell myself that my friends love me as much as they say they do, that they are there for me.

However, several months ago, I wasn't so good. I visited Riley at her house, and we went for a walk. I wanted to tell her some of the worries I had, something that she told me any time I needed to do, even if i thought it would hurt her, she wanted me to tell her. I didnt get a chance to till we got back, and when i did, i broke down. Everything from the prior months came out, stuff I'd told her, stuff i hadnt, everything. By the end of it I was in her arms, crying into her shoulder, apologizing ng for getting snot all over her shirt, her telling me to not worry about it. When I finally got calmed down enough to where I was crying, she looked at me like she herself wanted to cry, and asked me to answer a question honestly. She asked if I thought it would be best for us to go on a break from our relationship, and just be friends for a bit. She said she still loved me, and that she thought I was a great person and that she wanted to at the very least remain friends with me for so long as we can, and I said what amounted to the same thing but at the articulation of a first grader because my brain was so addled with the breakdown, and I decided that I think for right now it would be best. We remained best friends.
My birthday was at the end of last month, and Riley said there was no way she was going to miss it. Unfortunately, when the day actually came, we figured out the logistics, and it would be a 2 and a half hour trip to my house, and another back to her dorm, and being an attractive woman in Chicago, she didn't want to be outside at night. Sunset was at about 5. There was no way she could realistically get to my house, do stuff, and go back before nightfall. She felt awful, but decided instead that I could pick any day, within reason, and we could spend the whole day together. She said I was important in her life, and she wanted to make time to spend with me.
So we decided on yesterday, and decided 3 things we would do: 1 thing we both knew about, and a surprise for each person. I won't talk about those because while it was an amazing day, it's not really pertinent what specifically we did. I decided tho that I would ask her out again, because while I'm not completely better now, I wanted to be with her again, to say "I love you" and send her little hearts n stuff and call her "sweetheart" and "hun". We liked those little cute things.
I finally worked up the courage to, because I was scared of her answer. I asked her while we were at IKEA, and she said we'd talk about it later. So we got back to her dorm, tried to make cookies (I remembered everything but measuring cups), ended up watching game grumps instead, and we continued as if nothing had happened, save a huge knot in my stomach. Finally I asked her again, and she explained that college had been beating her upside the head, even without the added stress of a relationship, so she didnt think it would be good for her to have a boyfriend, but that we still could be friends (because I mean we still were). Which I completely understood, and yesterday I had no issue with it. Not long after we had to say goodbye, and all was well. I wasn't worried in the least.
Until I woke up this morning, and I realized, although I still love Riley, what if she doesn't love me? I texted her saying I should've asked yesterday but didnt think about it till this morning, asking her that question.
She still hasn't responded, and so in the meantime I texted Haley. We talked about it, and she said that what she thinks is that I am clinging unhealthily to Riley. She said that with Kathy, my definition of love and perception of reality got so warped, and my sense of self-worth was based on how whoever I clung to saw me, or how I perceived it, on a subconscious. Which is why whenever Riley needed space, my mind immediately jumped to "I'm losing her, Its my fault, she doesnt love me anymore". Which I think is completely true. She said that while with Kathy it was unhealthy because she was abusive, it's also unhealthy to be that way with Riley.
The thing is though... i think my brain also thinks that if i am not clinging to her desperately, it means i dont love her. Which obviously isnt true, but as Haley said, my definition of love has gotten so warped by Kathy's abusive tendencies. I've gotten better since Riley went on our break and especially since she went to college, so I had to forcibly change how I interpreted things, otherwise with how busy with college she is I'd think she absolutely hates me since she can only text me in the early morning and late evening, and call occasionally. But as today has proven, I'm still not all the way there.
I asked Haley where to go, then, and she said that this subreddit was full of people who would know what I'm going through on some level, and be able to help. So here was a good start.
So to bring it back to my question... how do I, like, "un-cling" from Riley, without just completely cutting her off? There has to be some in-between, it's not all-or-nothing like how my parents perceive relationships. How do I get out of that mindset that I'm only worth however I perceive Riley seeing me as??
Sorry for a SUPER long post. If there's anything you think is unneeded information, or anything I can do to clarify, please let me know.
submitted by Dinowlsaur to Anxiety [link] [comments]


2019.10.03 04:51 ALiddleBiddle Victoria’s Secret: Have the Angels Fallen from Grace? (Interesting article on how the Epstein saga has affected the VS Brand)

Link to article
Link to archive of article: (I recommend archiving every article you come across. I usually use www.archive.is because I find it more user-friendly than The Wayback Machine.)
TEXT OF ARTICLE
Victoria’s Secret: Have the Angels Fallen from Grace?
by Dimitar Ganev Oct 2, 2019

Victoria’s Secret, the largest lingerie retailer in the US, has been one of the most iconic apparel brands since the 1990s, not least because its sexually charged imaging set the industry’s standard for decades and exerted a strong influence on body image norms. But since 2015, the shares of its parent company L Brands have been dropping as sales keep taking hits from shifting consumer tastes, executive turnovers and emerging competition.
The Victoria’s Secret brand, built on skinny girls and scantily clad lingerie, is now largely perceived as inadequate for a time when consumers’ preferences have moved away from sex appeal and towards empowerment, inclusiveness and comfort. To many, the brand’s traditional marketing strategy, which bets on fashion shows where supermodels walk in stiletto heels and angel wings, seems tone-deaf in the era of #MeToo, which condemns all forms of objectifying women and imposing hard-to-achieve beauty standards.
The Victoria’s Secret Angels, once considered symbols of sexiness, have now started to alienate consumers: a recent study found that 68% of them like the brand “less than they used to” and 60% feel that Victoria’s Secret is “forced” or “fake.” Demand for its products has cooled as up-and-coming rival brands have become more attractive by promoting themselves through unedited images featuring women of more diverse shapes and sizes. The retail giant reported that it will close 53 stores in North America this year, citing a “decline in performance.”
The brand itself admitted that it relied on hypersexualised imaging for far too long and it needs to rethink its identity. At L Brands‘ recent investor day, John Mehas, head of Victoria’s Secret Lingerie, asserted that the company needs to evolve and to reconnect with consumers by launching new products, hiring new executives and using new marketing strategies.
An essential part of the narrative shift would be a more diverse group of models, improving the merchandise, replacing the brand’s marketing chief and “rethinking” its annual Victoria’s Secret fashion show, the only fashion show regularly broadcast around the world, whose ratings keep falling. The brand hinted that network television would no longer be the “right fit” for the event, which has been criticised for being focused on empowering the models who walk in it instead of trying to relate to consumers.
Inclusivity, Diversity and Epstein
Many specialised fashion publications and business outlets embarked on questioning how the once-beloved brand managed to garner such a bad reputation. Analysing the media conversation around Victoria’s Secret in the top-tier English language publications from October 2018 to September 2019, we found that the most often discussed topics were body inclusivity, the company’s ties with Jeffrey Epstein and gender diversity:
The strongest coverage drivers for both the “Body inclusivity” and “LGBTQ+ diversity” topics were the comments which 71-year-old chief marketing officer Ed Razek made in a 2018 interview with Vogue that quickly went viral. Razek, who reportedly has final say over who’s in the televised fashion show, said that he didn’t think Victoria’s Secret‘s fashion event should include transgender or plus-size models because it is supposed to be “a fantasy”.
“Shouldn’t you have transsexuals in the show? No. No, I don’t think we should,” he said. “Well, why not? Because the show is a fantasy. It’s a 42-minute entertainment special. That’s what it is. It is the only one of its kind in the world, and any other fashion brand in the world would take it in a minute, including the competitors that are carping at us. And they carp at us because we’re the leader.”
The remarks prompted a strong backlash from consumers. As with the most severe social media crises, Victoria’s Secret was embroiled in an outrage cascade — outbursts of moral judgment which start to drive the conversation around brands, their products and their corporate messages. In these cases, the virality of moral judgements is facilitated by the fact that most of the content on social media feeds and timelines is sorted according to its likelihood to generate engagement.
The fact that fashion brands in particular face a growing number of crises could be explained by the supposition that fashion items are often taken to be markers of cultural and social identity, and thus are susceptible to be perceived as controversial across social networks. For instance, designers often draw inspiration from other cultures’ traditions, which has recently given rise to accusations of “cultural appropriation”.
Razek later used the company’s Twitter account to issue a formal apology, saying that his remark “came across as insensitive.”
In August 2019, Razek retired just days after the lingerie brand hired its first openly transgender model for its teen label PINK: Brazilian Valentina Sampaio. The hire was generally welcomed by commentators – for instance, Kendall Jenner, daughter of trans icon Caitlyn Jenner, posted “celebrate trans women” to her 98 million Instagram followers.
Meanwhile, media monitoring organisation GLAAD, which deals with lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender issues, said Sampaio’s move comes as transgender people are becoming more visible in advertising. Examples of the trend include recent campaigns by Calvin Klein, Gap and H&M, while Playboy’s first transgender Playmate appeared in 2017.
Another strong coverage driver within the ‘Body inclusivity‘ topic was the protest outside Victoria’s Secret‘s store on Oxford Street in London, in which protesters stripped to their underwear and held signs demanding more diversity in fashion. To address such concerns, the latest investor meeting saw Victoria’s Secret deciding it will no longer rely on a small group of supermodels to promote its sexy lingerie, in a bid to use more inclusive marketing.
An example of this new strategy was an Instagram post of model Barbara Palvin, which was celebrated for being more body-inclusive, as social media users perceived Palvin to be curvier than the other supermodels. The post received over 780,000 likes in two days, generating 4.2 times the average number of likes, with users commenting that the model looks “normal” and “healthy”.
But the brand wasn’t that successful in managing another crisis: the widely publicised ties between L Brands founder Les Wexner and financier Jeffrey Epstein, an accused child sex trafficker who committed suicide in jail. Although Epstein didn’t actually work for Victoria’s Secret or L Brands, he had control over Wexner’s finances and personal life, according to reporting by The New York Times, and used his connections with Victoria’s Secret to facilitate his alleged crimes.
L Brands tried to distance itself from Epstein, saying it had cut ties with him nearly 12 years ago and disclosing that it had hired outside counsel to review the case. Wexner said: “Being taken advantage of by someone who was so sick, so cunning, so depraved, is something that I’m embarrassed that I was even close to. But that is in the past.”
In many media reports, the ‘Epstein ties‘ topic was closely related to the ‘Sexual harassment‘ topic, which was dominated by a petition urging Victoria’s Secret to take a stand against sexual harassment and violence. The open letter was addressed to Victoria’s Secret CEO John Mehas and signed by more than 100 models, many of whom have worked with the brand in the past, and also by the Model Alliance, an advocacy organisation in the fashion industry, and the Time’s Up movement against sexual harassment which was founded in response to the Weinstein effect and #MeToo.
The petition cited “numerous allegations of sexual assault, alleged rape, and sex trafficking of models and aspiring models”. Several of the company’s photographers have been accused of misconduct, on top of the links with Jeffrey Epstein. A Victoria’s Secret spokesperson said the firm has been in conversations with the Model Alliance “for some time”: “We are always concerned about the welfare of our models and want to continue to have dialogue with the Model Alliance and others to accomplish meaningful progress in the industry.”
Crisis mode
Ed Razek‘s aforementioned controversial comments regarding transgender and plus-size models made him the most often quoted spokesperson in the discussion around Victoria’s Secret:
Razek’s dominance in the conversation underlined the crisis of perception the brand suffers: his remarks were taken by many media outlets as a sign that the brand is unwilling to adapt to the current sociocultural climate. Models who have previously worked with the brand and who had a relatively large share of voice in the media conversation were quick to criticise him. For example. Karlie Kloss and Lily Aldridge posted a photo reading “Trans and GNC [gender non-conforming] people are not a debate” to their Instagram stories.
Karlie Kloss was one of the most vocal critics: she recently told Vogue that she had decided to terminate her relationship with Victoria’s Secret because the image was not “truly reflective” of who she was and the “kind of message I want to send to young women around the world about what it means to be beautiful.” Model Tess Holliday was harsher, leaving a message to Razek on Twitter following his Vogue interview: “Who needs VS anyway? They never supported plus ladies & now they are trying to dis my trans sisters? Hell nah. Kiss my fat ass, [Victoria’s Secret].”
The majority of media reports on Razek’s retirement announcement cited these remarks as one of the key points in his career and highlighted that he was one of the main figures in the highly sexualised beauty ideal put forth by the brand. The crisis of perception was also emphasised by the fact that L Brands CEO Les Wexner, another major corporate spokesperson in the conversation, was quoted primarily in relation to the Epstein scandal.
However, some of the spokespeople portrayed Victoria’s Secret in a positive light. Adriana Lima, one of the best-known Angels, quit the label after two decades and 18 fashion shows with the brand, sharing the news on Instagram with a heartfelt caption: “Dear Victoria, Thank you for showing me the world, sharing your secrets, and most importantly not just giving me wings but teaching me to fly.”
And while she presented the brand positively, some media publications reminded their readers of a an interview she gave to Grazia in 2011 in which she outlined the physical challenges she went through in order to be in shape, especially after her pregnancy.
Angel Behati Prinsloo tried to defend the Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show against the criticism for its lack of transgender models and diverse body types. In an interview with Elle, she explained what the show stands for: ‘There’s a lot of talk about everything but I think people need to also understand that it’s a show. It’s not saying negative or positive about any body type, it’s ‘this is who they are’.”
In the meantime, Barbara Palvin was named as a Victoria’s Secret Angel after the successful Instagram post which customers perceived to be more body-inclusive. She announced the news to fans also via Instagram and her hire was generally interpreted by the media as a sign that the label is finally starting to listen to its critics.
CEO John Mehas‘ comments about the brand’s marketing shift were met with similar enthusiasm, especially his plans to include messaging that responds to the #MeToo movement. But the most warmly welcomed move was the hire of Valentina Sampaio: although some publications suggested that the brand’s first openly transgender model came too late, most commentators said that the retailer has finally moved in the right direction.
Lingerie wars
While Victoria’s Secret is caught up in a fierce discussion, L Brands‘ other flagship label, Bath & Body Works, a personal-goods retailer, continues to report strong earnings, supporting its struggling parent. Many reports on Victoria’s Secret‘s controversial reputation outlined this development, making Bath & Body Works the most frequently mentioned brand in the conversation:
While L Brands is firmly focused on the Victoria’s Secret turnaround story, Bath & Body Work is perceived as staying relevant with updated stores and new product tests, maintaining a wholesome image as “America’s sweetheart of beauty brands.” Its loyal core consumer base of millennial women is boosted by fan blogs and YouTube accounts dedicated to sharing new products. The brand also plans to ramp up volume by having a digital makeover for the first time in India.
Investors have even started pressuring L Brands to make Bath & Body Works a standalone company which would not be associated with Victoria’s Secret. Hedge fund Barington Capital, whose CEO James A. Mitarotonda was one of the few corporate spokespeople in the conversation, sent a lengthy letter to L Brands CEO Les Wexner arguing for a spinoff.
But after Bath & Body Works posted its first unchanged quarter of store traffic in five years during 2019’s second quarter, Jefferies analyst Randal Konik suggested that the best days for the bath and candle retailer may be over. Konik also said that the teen brand PINK is the next sore spot for L Brands, with sales falling by low double digits in the fourth quarter, as the label is “without fans and rudderless.”
ThirdLove, American Eagle Outfitters and Savage X Fenty were identified as the main competitors which have capitalised on Victoria’s Secret’s reputational struggles. ThirdLove, an online bra startup which was launched in 2013, was perceived as coming head to head with Victoria’s Secret as it focuses on inclusive sizing and marketing, which have helped its annual sales to grow at a rate of 180% for the past four years.
The brand opened its first pop-up store in New York in July 2019, putting itself in direct competition with Victoria’s Secret as the lingerie giant had a store less than a 10 minutes’ walk away. ThirdLove also joined the discussion around Razek’s comments, taking out a full-page ad in The New York Times, in which co-founder and co-CEO Heidi Zak said she was appalled when she read them: “I’ve read and re-read the interview at least 20 times, and each time I read it I’m even angrier. How in 2018 can the CMO of any public company — let alone one that claims to be for women — make such shocking, derogatory statements?”
When asked whether Victoria’s Secret was worried its customers might now be looking for something different, Razek mentioned ThirdLove: “We’re nobody’s ThirdLove,” Razek said. “We’re their first love. And Victoria’s Secret has been women’s first love from the beginning.”
American Eagle Outfitters was also viewed as one of the main companies to break Victoria’s Secret‘s grip on the apparel industry by offering fitting bras and using messaging which pitches inclusiveness and comfort over sex appeal. Its activewear and lingerie brand Aerie has built an image of an “anti-Victoria’s Secret” label with untouched ads featuring models of all shapes and sizes. Kyle Andrew, American Eagle’s CMO, said the company’s success is due to its willingness to experiment and find ways to better listen to its teen customer base.
Rihanna’s Savage X Fenty recent show, streamed on Amazon Prime, has been making headlines everywhere, with commentators saying it was everything that Victoria’s Secret’s annual runway show wishes it could be by featuring models of all shapes, sizes, and ethnic backgrounds, with a clear focus on body inclusivity and acceptance.
Meanwhile, retail corporation Target also tried to capitalise on Victoria’s Secret’s struggles with a strategy similar to ThirdLove, American Eagle Outfitters and Savage X Fenty: it launched a new bra and underwear brand called Auden with a campaign featuring women “in all different shapes and sizes.”
Nike was mentioned as one of the brands which have gotten ahead of the curve with their socially-conscious marketing efforts featuring ex-NFL quarterback Colin Kaepernick, who had participated in racial justice demonstrations during national anthem ceremonies. Fast-fashion brand H&M got involved in the discussion for selling a $199 bra similar to Victoria’s Secret’s $1 million Fantasy Bra as part of its collaboration with Moschino.
Victoria’s Secret‘s reputational woos come at a time when the fashion and apparel industries occupy a central place in the extensively covered #MeToo movement and play a major role in ongoing media discussions around gender and identity. Since such issues naturally polarise consumers, brands which are dealing with products directly related to them are regularly caught up in fierce debates.
The growing importance of the debates around gender in the fashion industry has also been highlighted in the accelerating gender-neutral trend. The latest seasons have seen luxury brands like Gucci, Saint Laurent and Haider Ackerman combining menswear and womenswear runway shows, Others, such as Proenza Schouler and Rodarte, have started showing women’s pre-collections or women’s ready-to-wear during the back-to-back menswear and couture calendar. Meanwhile, fast-fashion labels such as Zara started releasing ungendered collections with models of both sexes dressed in the same clothes.
There are also a growing number of new brands like the Phluid Project, Agender and Rebrand which are built around the concept of non-binary dressing. Beyond fashion houses, the trend has also been recently reinforced by the Council of Fashion Designers of America (CFDA), which added a unisex/non-binary option for New York Fashion Week. Spokespeople for the CFDA explained that this decision came as a response to “a growing number of designers whose collections are not delineated by gender”, which “reflects the cultural momentum.”
submitted by ALiddleBiddle to Epstein [link] [comments]


2019.09.09 05:38 TA2991755 A Rant and an Ask for Help - along with my excitement

Apologies for the vent but the last few days have been a total epiphany. I'm hoping that sharing will help make it effective, and writing this out has really just been a cleansing, helpful experience for me - it's been posted elsewhere, but all support is welcome.

I'm literally on day 2 so this isn't really a boasting/motivational/progress thing. I'm writing out my thoughts (on a throwaway) because I want to look back on myself early on and would appreciate advice, etc., from other guys who have gone through this. Oddly enough, I'm really, really excited right now (unfortunately, not THAT kind of excited yet) because I had no idea this existed until yesterday.

I'm an American, almost 25. I've been self-pleasuring using the internet starting around age 12. I thought by the time I reached sexual maturity and was engaging with girls that way, it would just disappear and I would be just like every other guy. As I entered high school, I had my first kiss, started flirting with girls, started touching, etc. I found myself seeing the touching as a chore, not something I was actually interested in pursuing. I couldn't get it up but would just convince myself I was still young and I was always a late bloomer, maybe my hormones just haven't kicked in fully yet. The masturbating getting weirder and weirder, longer and longer as I get into edging. I tell myself it's just time, one day I'll meet the right girl or it'll be all the right circumstances, and everything will just click for me. The truth is, I knew I couldn't get it up and (in an effort not to sound conceited) there are plenty of girls I had a chance with. I was an athlete in high school and college, I was at least partially your traditional "jock."

College comes, I'm still a virgin. Of course I've been lying for years about it, having made up a story about a girl that none of my friends knew. I certainly enjoyed flirting, pursuing, making out with plenty of girls, but never anything else. I just couldn't seem to take that next step, and while I knew there was something wrong, I never understood what. I'm on open-minded guy and (I think) naturally, I started questioning my sexuality. If I couldn't get it up for girls, could I for boys? Do THEY at least arouse me? The answer was, and is, consistently no. It would be fine if I was gay, I can accept that, but I've just never been attracted to a guy I've met. I've tried to put myself in that sexual role mentally and it does nothing for me. I brushed most of this off as "I'll figure it out one day."

I really enjoy the pursuit of girls. I love going to bars and meeting new ones, talking, flirting, getting numbers, kissing, getting them attracted to me. I go home with them, touch them and eat them out, but was never was interested in them touching me. At first, some girls find it sweet - I was only into their pleasure, not mine. But eventually, I start losing interest in them in a sexual way entirely. I'd pass out in her bed and they would get concerned because they'd ask if I was attracted to them, if I even wanted to do more. They'd do things to me and I'd remain silent or apologize. They were always very nice about it, and even though I would be in a girl's bed multiple times, each relationship would fizzle out quickly. I'd lose interest because it was like a game. Once I'd "won" the girl's affections, I was over her and attempting sex just felt like another attempt at a normal life but always ended in failure. I never understood why and my friends started to question my habits. As I grew older, a common excuse was alcohol. I began drinking to excess partially because I figured maybe drunk me would have more confidence and less anxiety, and partially because I could blame my failure to have sex on being too drunk. I never stopped masturbating to porn - I couldn't, and I figured it was just a sexual release.

I also wanted to have sex because I thought that would be the great breakthrough. Once I pushed myself inside a girl, it would all be alright and I'd be fine. At 22, I started developing a relationship with this girl, let's call her Claire. I blamed my ED on anxiety meds I was on (I wasn't) and she understood. We tried a few times, and nothing. Finally - FINALLY - one day I got it up, and we did it. And it was...meh. It was fine, I suppose. I still felt like it was a duty, like I was doing Claire a favor. We would have sex once or twice, maybe three times, a week. I stopped masturbating as much, but it was still pretty consistent - at least every other day. I'd skip going to her place to jerk off at home sometimes.

Claire and I broke up after I graduated for other reasons (she turned out to be really emotionally manipulative - we were on and off for another year and I finally got rid of her, but I haven't had sex since). I picked up right where I left off, meeting girls and ending our "thing" weeks later, lying to my friends, and of course, jerking off to weirder and weirder porn. It had gotten to the point where I waste entire days edging or orgasming multiple times. I started losing out on social interactions, workouts, even dates. It pains me to say it, but I would stay up so late edging that I would get no sleep and call in sick the next day. Then, I'd wake up and just start with porn again. This entire time, I refused to admit this was a long-term issue.

Obviously, this has been a detriment to more than just my relationships. Porn addiction has infiltrated me so far that I missed out on so many things - I don't read as much as I used to, I have no hobbies, I was losing out on friends who would invite me to hang out. I wouldn't study, I wasn't figuring out my life. I just wanted to get off, and figured that still, one day I'd meet a girl and it would all make sense.

I met a girl that I really connected with - let's call her Lauren. We got along really well, kissed on the first date, saw each other maybe 6 times in two weeks, and eventually we were high in her apartment and she started touching me. I told her the ED was because of anxiety from previous relationship in which my emotionally manipulative ex used me for sex. We kept seeing each other, she told me how much she liked me, and things were escalating quickly. Lauren and I didn't kiss much, we'd cuddle when we went to bed but she would basically have to ask me to kiss her, but we connected on an emotional and intellectual level really well. That being said, during our "relationship", I almost always had one foot out the door. Yeah, she's smart and gets my humor and I loved spending time with her and all, but I was just not that into her. I didn't particularly love kissing her - which tells me she may not have been the one for me anyways - but we never formed a physically intimate bond. As we got to know each other, we'd do things - shower together, I ate her out once, fingering, but literally probably only twice in three months, and only early on (at what I guess is a normal time for two people to get intimate) but then never brought it back up.

She had mentioned that she felt like she was way more into me than I was into her, which really hurt to hear but is no fault of her own - I knew where she was coming from. Eventually, things ended because she's ready to have a family and I'm not. After we ended things, she told me she began to feel like I was into her as a friend and it upset her, but I guess eventually normalized in her head.

That was a few weeks ago. My masturbatory, porn-fueled habits never stopped but I felt like an emotionally rejected wreck from the end of the relationship. I started questioning myself - did she really want kids or was it the fact that I couldn't, or didn't seem to want to, have sex? I didn't eat for a few days but eventually decided I wanted to grow from this, I wanted to be better and use my experience with her to help, and realized I'm ready for a relationship. However, I refused to admit I have an addiction and continued to get off to porn.

Finally, as I was actually literally searching for something to get off to yesterday morning, I stumbled across a reddit page. That page led to another, which led me here. I spent hours reading articles, YBOP, studies, testimonies - and everything fits. I always had a hard time with sexuality because I didn't think I was gay, but I couldn't get it up for girls. I questioned my body, but everything was working fine. I questioned my anxiety, but I was able to get it up before with a girl. The only constant was the porn-fueled masturbating, and everything so far has clicked.

I've had a great day. I was productive, I worked out for an hour, did laundry, took care of some personal matters, cleaned my room, went for a walk, and ate well. I feel like a new person, just from discovering that this IS a thing, that I'm not doomed to a flaccid dick with girls forever, that by rebooting I can fix this one constant issue in my life. I can start finding hobbies, working out, reading more, sleeping more, not calling in sick to work. I know it won't be easy, and I may need some help. I've read that actually explaining things to a girl I'm with can be useful, because rewiring the brain sexually means I need to associated sex with flesh and blood, a real person. I'm worried after my last emotional struggle that I will pick the wrong girl, but if this will help me improve my life, I'd be willing to do anything. I'm excited that there's a fix.

I want to be a new man - the man I was always meant to be. Yesterday, I busted to porn in the morning. I didn't today, and have decided I want to stop for a long time, so I have some questions:

  1. How long is long enough, for my situation? I've also read that guys who got into porn young may take longer as I've honestly never associated orgasming with the female body.
  2. Is finding a girl to help me through it worth it, or fair to her?
  3. What do you find are productive/useful ways to stay away from the machine?

TL;DR I've had similar issues to lots of guys here, this is my story, and it's the end of day 2 of my reboot. Looking for guidance as I try to become a new man.

Leave comments, questions below, and thank you, you brave souls.
submitted by TA2991755 to NoFap [link] [comments]


2019.09.09 05:14 TA2991755 Rant on my story, discovery of PIED, and excitement

Apologies for the vent but the last few days have been a total epiphany. I'm hoping that sharing will help make it effective, and writing this out has really just been a cleansing, helpful experience for me.

I'm literally on day 2 so this isn't really a boasting/motivational/progress thing. I'm writing out my thoughts (on a throwaway) because I want to look back on myself early on and would appreciate advice, etc., from other guys who have gone through this. Oddly enough, I'm really, really excited right now (unfortunately, not THAT kind of excited yet) because I had no idea this existed until yesterday.

I'm an American, almost 25. I've been self-pleasuring using the internet starting around age 12. I thought by the time I reached sexual maturity and was engaging with girls that way, it would just disappear and I would be just like every other guy. As I entered high school, I had my first kiss, started flirting with girls, started touching, etc. I found myself seeing the touching as a chore, not something I was actually interested in pursuing. I couldn't get it up but would just convince myself I was still young and I was always a late bloomer, maybe my hormones just haven't kicked in fully yet. The masturbating getting weirder and weirder, longer and longer as I get into edging. I tell myself it's just time, one day I'll meet the right girl or it'll be all the right circumstances, and everything will just click for me. The truth is, I knew I couldn't get it up and (in an effort not to sound conceited) there are plenty of girls I had a chance with. I was an athlete in high school and college, I was at least partially your traditional "jock."

College comes, I'm still a virgin. Of course I've been lying for years about it, having made up a story about a girl that none of my friends knew. I certainly enjoyed flirting, pursuing, making out with plenty of girls, but never anything else. I just couldn't seem to take that next step, and while I knew there was something wrong, I never understood what. I'm on open-minded guy and (I think) naturally, I started questioning my sexuality. If I couldn't get it up for girls, could I for boys? Do THEY at least arouse me? The answer was, and is, consistently no. It would be fine if I was gay, I can accept that, but I've just never been attracted to a guy I've met. I've tried to put myself in that sexual role mentally and it does nothing for me. I brushed most of this off as "I'll figure it out one day."

I really enjoy the pursuit of girls. I love going to bars and meeting new ones, talking, flirting, getting numbers, kissing, getting them attracted to me. I go home with them, touch them and eat them out, but was never was interested in them touching me. At first, some girls find it sweet - I was only into their pleasure, not mine. But eventually, I start losing interest in them in a sexual way entirely. I'd pass out in her bed and they would get concerned because they'd ask if I was attracted to them, if I even wanted to do more. They'd do things to me and I'd remain silent or apologize. They were always very nice about it, and even though I would be in a girl's bed multiple times, each relationship would fizzle out quickly. I'd lose interest because it was like a game. Once I'd "won" the girl's affections, I was over her and attempting sex just felt like another attempt at a normal life but always ended in failure. I never understood why and my friends started to question my habits. As I grew older, a common excuse was alcohol. I began drinking to excess partially because I figured maybe drunk me would have more confidence and less anxiety, and partially because I could blame my failure to have sex on being too drunk. I never stopped masturbating to porn - I couldn't, and I figured it was just a sexual release.

I also wanted to have sex because I thought that would be the great breakthrough. Once I pushed myself inside a girl, it would all be alright and I'd be fine. At 22, I started developing a relationship with this girl, let's call her Claire. I blamed my ED on anxiety meds I was on (I wasn't) and she understood. We tried a few times, and nothing. Finally - FINALLY - one day I got it up, and we did it. And it was...meh. It was fine, I suppose. I still felt like it was a duty, like I was doing Claire a favor. We would have sex once or twice, maybe three times, a week. I stopped masturbating as much, but it was still pretty consistent - at least every other day. I'd skip going to her place to jerk off at home sometimes.

Claire and I broke up after I graduated for other reasons (she turned out to be really emotionally manipulative - we were on and off for another year and I finally got rid of her, but I haven't had sex since). I picked up right where I left off, meeting girls and ending our "thing" weeks later, lying to my friends, and of course, jerking off to weirder and weirder porn. It had gotten to the point where I waste entire days edging or orgasming multiple times. I started losing out on social interactions, workouts, even dates. It pains me to say it, but I would stay up so late edging that I would get no sleep and call in sick the next day. Then, I'd wake up and just start with porn again. This entire time, I refused to admit this was a long-term issue.

Obviously, this has been a detriment to more than just my relationships. Porn addiction has infiltrated me so far that I missed out on so many things - I don't read as much as I used to, I have no hobbies, I was losing out on friends who would invite me to hang out. I wouldn't study, I wasn't figuring out my life. I just wanted to get off, and figured that still, one day I'd meet a girl and it would all make sense.

I met a girl that I really connected with - let's call her Lauren. We got along really well, kissed on the first date, saw each other maybe 6 times in two weeks, and eventually we were high in her apartment and she started touching me. I told her the ED was because of anxiety from previous relationship in which my emotionally manipulative ex used me for sex. We kept seeing each other, she told me how much she liked me, and things were escalating quickly. Lauren and I didn't kiss much, we'd cuddle when we went to bed but she would basically have to ask me to kiss her, but we connected on an emotional and intellectual level really well. That being said, during our "relationship", I almost always had one foot out the door. Yeah, she's smart and gets my humor and I loved spending time with her and all, but I was just not that into her. I didn't particularly love kissing her - which tells me she may not have been the one for me anyways - but we never formed a physically intimate bond. As we got to know each other, we'd do things - shower together, I ate her out once, fingering, but literally probably only twice in three months, and only early on (at what I guess is a normal time for two people to get intimate) but then never brought it back up.

She had mentioned that she felt like she was way more into me than I was into her, which really hurt to hear but is no fault of her own - I knew where she was coming from. Eventually, things ended because she's ready to have a family and I'm not. After we ended things, she told me she began to feel like I was into her as a friend and it upset her, but I guess eventually normalized in her head.

That was a few weeks ago. My masturbatory, porn-fueled habits never stopped but I felt like an emotionally rejected wreck from the end of the relationship. I started questioning myself - did she really want kids or was it the fact that I couldn't, or didn't seem to want to, have sex? I didn't eat for a few days but eventually decided I wanted to grow from this, I wanted to be better and use my experience with her to help, and realized I'm ready for a relationship. However, I refused to admit I have an addiction and continued to get off to porn.

Finally, as I was actually literally searching for something to get off to yesterday morning, I stumbled across a reddit page. That page led to another, which led me here. I spent hours reading articles, YBOP, studies, testimonies - and everything fits. I always had a hard time with sexuality because I didn't think I was gay, but I couldn't get it up for girls. I questioned my body, but everything was working fine. I questioned my anxiety, but I was able to get it up before with a girl. The only constant was the porn-fueled masturbating, and everything so far has clicked.

I've had a great day. I was productive, I worked out for an hour, did laundry, took care of some personal matters, cleaned my room, went for a walk, and ate well. I feel like a new person, just from discovering that this IS a thing, that I'm not doomed to a flaccid dick with girls forever, that by rebooting I can fix this one constant issue in my life. I can start finding hobbies, working out, reading more, sleeping more, not calling in sick to work. I know it won't be easy, and I may need some help. I've read that actually explaining things to a girl I'm with can be useful, because rewiring the brain sexually means I need to associated sex with flesh and blood, a real person. I'm worried after my last emotional struggle that I will pick the wrong girl, but if this will help me improve my life, I'd be willing to do anything. I'm excited that there's a fix.

I want to be a new man - the man I was always meant to be. Yesterday, I busted to porn in the morning. I didn't today, and have decided I want to stop for a long time, so I have some questions:

  1. How long is long enough, for my situation? I've also read that guys who got into porn young may take longer as I've honestly never associated orgasming with the female body.
  2. Is finding a girl to help me through it worth it, or fair to her?
  3. What do you find are productive/useful ways to stay away from the machine?

TL;DR I've had similar issues to lots of guys here, this is my story, and it's the end of day 2 of my reboot. Finding this subreddit was exactly what I needed.

Leave comments, questions below, and thank you, you brave souls.
submitted by TA2991755 to PIED [link] [comments]


2019.08.03 23:14 removalbot 08-03 21:13 - 'Oh you think the right is dangerous?🤣🤣 / Here are just a few examples of how violent the left has become: / [link] / [link] / [link] / [link] / [link] / [link] / [link] / [link] / [link] / [link] / [link] / [link] / [link] / [l...' by /u/appigy removed from /r/worldnews within 8-18min

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Oh you think the right is dangerous?🤣🤣
Here are just a few examples of how violent the left has become:
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'''
Context Link
Go1dfish undelete link
unreddit undelete link
Author: appigy
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Unknown links are censored to prevent spreading illicit content.
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2019.07.11 00:16 thatshittygameplayer Entitled Dad gets ANGRY when he knows I have a boyfriend.

To start I love every video of the channel and specially the EP ones. Also I'm totally okay with this being in a video, just in case it gets there.
Also as a warning, English is not my first language and I'm on a phone so if you see any flaws on my grammar is because of any of those.
A little background: I had a pretty absent and entitled dad. This guy barely knew me and my likes, he literally got me things because I usually talk too much and he knew what I liked just because I said it, not because he got the time to learn about me. He barely cared of me (he literally didn't noticed when my aunt took me for ice cream when I was with him because he was way to busy in his laptop when I was 6 YEARS OLD) and everything I did was HIS achievement. Everything I did, I would have learned it from HIM, every talent that I had was teached by HIM.
The actual story:
So, a few years ago (2016 if I'm not wrong) I had my first official boyfriend, we had been dating for a while now and, as the teens we were at that moment, we decided to let our relationship public on Facebook so our friends would know.
THAT WAS THE BEGINNING OF THE HELL.
The cast:
Me: the "ungrateful" daughter(? BF: boyfriend who's now my best bro ED: my super Entitled Dad
So as soon as we put that on the social media the friends of my BF started commenting jokes like "I'm proud of you two but BF will always be in my heart", "I thought BF was my boyfriend", "I knew this love was short but pretty happy for you" as well as some congratulation comments (also, I was okay with those "no homo" jokes because I also started the joke sometime before our relationship, so I just saw those comments and laughed my ass off). A little while after the post my ED came by saying homophobic slurs and insulting my BF friends for the jokes that they commented. Sadly I knew this because my BF friends asked my BF who the fuck was that guy and he knew immediately that he was my father and told me what happened. I just went to my dad's chat and confronted him, it went something like this:
Me: Hey ED.
ED: Hey honey! What's the matter?
Me: You should know the matter. You just insulted my BF friend! What's wrong with you?!
ED: Excuse me? It's not my fault, those homophobic slur came and started spreading all his gay shit in the comments. They don't have the right to do that.
Me: those were fucking jokes. Can you differentiate a reality from a joke?
I was furious at that moment. We started arguing and he just "apologized" saying that he was homophobic and he had THE RIGHT to think like that and do whatever his fucked up mind wanted. I was outraged but tried to compose myself at the moment.
Me: still, you don't have the right to come and say whatever you want when you want, you don't know how much you hurted that people with your comments.
ED: Yeah, but this wouldn't have happened if you didn't got a boyfriend. You're too young for that, and my princess is not allowed to have boyfriends unless I say so.
Me: EXCUSE ME? Since when YOU are the one who decides if I want a boyfriend or not?!
ED: Because I'm your Dad, and I have the right to it. Also, you could get a good guy, not the shithead fuckboy you got. You've seen him? He surely do drugs or sells them.
Now, that snapped me. He didn't even knew my BF, the guy is actually pretty good boy, he also is from a wealthy family, not rich but the guy has some good economic situation but my dad didn't knew that. Also, can I say why he thought my BF selled drugs? Because he had his hoodie on..yes you just read that.
Me: okay, first, you don't know him to be saying that shit. And second, I barely know you as my dad. You were barely there for me and you still owe me my alimony which, can I say it over the million of pesos?? (I'm from Chile and making calculations he owes me more that 6 million pesos which to dollars are like 9000$USD) The only people who has the right to know about my sentimental relationships are my mom, my grandparents, my great grandparents and my cousins. You are barely the guy who gave my mom the sperm to make me.
After that statement I knew he was just shocked because he knew I was no longer the little child who would believe anything that his dad would say. He tried to get me back by victimizing himself and saying that all was fault of my mother (which has been always there for me). At that moment I stopped the conversation and I lost communication with him.
I haven't heard from him unless from my aunt-in-law who lives pretty near my dad and talks with him. She has told me that he lies saying that he talks with me often and that we have good relationship. Anyways he surely is too happy saying that his daughter is on university studying Vet Med...but he doesn't know that I took a year off so, Hahas on you dad.
submitted by thatshittygameplayer to MoarStories [link] [comments]


2018.08.16 16:41 americanindignant Coming out of the fog about my JNMom but I'm not doing great

Original post is on JUSTNOMIL, I was advised I could find more help here as well <3
--- gonna throw a little TW up here for disordered eating, JIC. nothing crazy but now ya know. ---
Sometimes the parent you wish you had isn’t the parent you do have. ~TwoshittyMILs
I keep reading this over and over (LTL, FTP) and thinking about my own mom, and the FOG is strong but not stronger than the painful fact that that’s probably true. My mom has always been controlling and ...problematic, to say the least, but it wasn’t until I met my fiance (we’re two women, relevant later) that I realized exactly how not-okay a lot of what she does is. I think she’s a narcissist, she’s definitely JustNo (as mom and as FMIL to my SO, sigh), and I really don’t know what to do about it. I’m also in the process of leaving medical school to figure out what I actually want to do (again, relevant later) and I honestly can’t tell how much of her advice is advice vs manipulation and control. I don’t know. I’m sad, I can’t sleep, and I can’t talk to SO about it because she does NOT like my mom at all, and we fight about things that I think are innocent because everything my mom does tends to set her off. Help? This will probably be long - I’m just gonna freestyle everything shitty she’s done via bullet points, and go from there
  1. She found out I was gay the first time because she read through all of my text messages after seeing a high volume of texts on the phone bill, and found a flimsy attempt at sexting between myself and a female friend. She asked me about it, I came out to her, she told me to go back to bed... next day I was then forbidden from seeing this friend one-on-one, texting/calling this friend, or interacting with her outside of school/group activities with 2+ other friends present. I ignored most of this, leading to the second example….
  2. When I got my drivers’ license, my parents gave me a really old (90’s, we’re in ‘09-’10 at this point) car that had belonged to my mom to drive with. I was already a pretty good kid, pretty much going to school, the local strip mall/gas station, and a friend’s house if I wasn’t hanging out at home. What I didn’t know, is that they put a GPS tracker somewhere in the car, and would be able to check where it was at any time. And they did, every time I went somewhere! They told me all of this later, after I received a new car from them as a HS graduation gift, and “laughing” as they assured me they hadn’t tracked this one as I was an adult now… This led, of course, to my mom catching me in a lie about going to a club after school. Of course, I went to see my forbidden beau, and my mom drove over and entered her home without asking to fetch me! Luckily we were the only ones home (kinda the point) or, in retrospect, I think she would’ve had some legal issues there with trespassing or breaking and entering or smth… She called and called, came over, and started banging on the door yelling my name. Instead of ending it there and coming inside, I hid in the closet, because I thought the door was locked. Either it wasn't or she picked it, because next thing I knew I heard her on the stairs, she came into the room, interrogated beau and found me, dragged me home, and grounded me and took the car keys. Suffice to say, I never truly believed my current car is un-tracked, and anytime I see a car that’s similar to her make/model when I'm out in the world, I get a flash of fear and anxiety like she’s followed me again to ruin my chipotle run/night out/whatever.
This got super long, but basically, my mom is really shitty, we don’t get along, and I don’t know if we ever will. And of course, thinking about these things makes me angry, but I still love my mom for some reason or other, so once I’m done being angry I just get really really sad. Like, why can’t I have a mother who doesn’t do these things? What did I do to deserve this? What is so wrong with me as a person that she can’t be nice to her own fucking child? Why can't I get along with my mom, who's supposed to be the person who loves me the most since babyhood?
All of this has come to a head as I’ve been preparing to leave medical school - because of course, my parents don’t want that to happen, and she feels betrayed and angry and like I’ve wasted all their money and I’m going to be a failed wastrel on the side of the road because she thinks my undergrad degree is shit and a HS degree can’t get me anywhere. She’s also told me I’m wasting my brain, wasting my youth, etc. -- these are third world parents who made it in a first world country, and basically, to them, it's this, law, or engineering. I want to study filmmaking. =_=
And it hurts because the fact of the matter is, I’m quitting because my mental health can’t handle it anymore. I’m depressed, my anxiety has gotten proportionally worse, my body is actually manifesting symptoms (grinding teeth, acid reflux, irritable bowel) I’ve become a shadow of myself, lost weight, lost interest in life, I barely leave the house, I’ve been between a 3 and a 7 on the suicidal scale for almost a year, in and out of counseling, just feeling generally horrible.
And she doesn’t care. Because she’s “already told everyone” I’m in medical school and it’s embarrassing that I’m quitting. She’s said she’s not telling anyone, and I can do it myself. Like I’m not stressed enough about coming out of this depressive episode and fucking notifying my friends and colleagues. Like I’m not stressed enough dealing with my health!
But no. We’ve got to focus on her.
TL;DR: My JNMom has been doing shitty things to me my whole life, including invalidating my sexuality, boundary stomping in the form of GPS tracking, snooping, mail-reading, etc, adult-ifying me kind of? when I didn’t want that, and causing me to have horrible body image and disordered eating habits. Now I am going through a major life change (leaving med school) due to some pretty gnarly mental and physical health issues, and she pretty much only cares about how it’s affecting her, even though I am clearly suffering. I don’t know how to deal, my dad enables hemight also be a JN, and my fiance hates her because of the way she makes me feel.
I really just want a mom who cares about me right now, and it’s tearing me apart. I might need some advice, some tough love, I don’t know but I hope y’all can help. Thanks for making it this far.
submitted by americanindignant to raisedbynarcissists [link] [comments]


2018.08.16 00:49 americanindignant Coming out of the fog about my JNMom but I'm not doing great

--- gonna throw a little TW up here for disordered eating, JIC. nothing crazy but now ya know. ---
Sometimes the parent you wish you had isn’t the parent you do have. ~TwoshittyMILs
I keep reading this over and over (LTL, FTP) and thinking about my own mom, and the FOG is strong but not stronger than the painful fact that that’s probably true. My mom has always been controlling and ...problematic, to say the least, but it wasn’t until I met my fiance (we’re two women, relevant later) that I realized exactly how not-okay a lot of what she does is. I think she’s a narcissist, she’s definitely JustNo (as mom and as FMIL to my SO, sigh), and I really don’t know what to do about it. I’m also in the process of leaving medical school to figure out what I actually want to do (again, relevant later) and I honestly can’t tell how much of her advice is advice vs manipulation and control. I don’t know. I’m sad, I can’t sleep, and I can’t talk to SO about it because she does NOT like my mom at all, and we fight about things that I think are innocent because everything my mom does tends to set her off. Help? This will probably be long - I’m just gonna freestyle everything shitty she’s done via bullet points, and go from there
  1. She found out I was gay the first time because she read through all of my text messages after seeing a high volume of texts on the phone bill, and found a flimsy attempt at sexting between myself and a female friend. She asked me about it, I came out to her, she told me to go back to bed... next day I was then forbidden from seeing this friend one-on-one, texting/calling this friend, or interacting with her outside of school/group activities with 2+ other friends present. I ignored most of this, leading to the second example….
  2. When I got my drivers’ license, my parents gave me a really old (90’s, we’re in ‘09-’10 at this point) car that had belonged to my mom to drive with. I was already a pretty good kid, pretty much going to school, the local strip mall/gas station, and a friend’s house if I wasn’t hanging out at home. What I didn’t know, is that they put a GPS tracker somewhere in the car, and would be able to check where it was at any time. And they did, every time I went somewhere! They told me all of this later, after I received a new car from them as a HS graduation gift, and “laughing” as they assured me they hadn’t tracked this one as I was an adult now… This led, of course, to my mom catching me in a lie about going to a club after school. Of course, I went to see my forbidden beau, and my mom drove over and entered her home without asking to fetch me! Luckily we were the only ones home (kinda the point) or, in retrospect, I think she would’ve had some legal issues there with trespassing or breaking and entering or smth… She called and called, came over, and started banging on the door yelling my name. Instead of ending it there and coming inside, I hid in the closet, because I thought the door was locked. Either it wasn't or she picked it, because next thing I knew I heard her on the stairs, she came into the room, interrogated beau and found me, dragged me home, and grounded me and took the car keys. Suffice to say, I never truly believed my current car is un-tracked, and anytime I see a car that’s similar to her make/model when I'm out in the world, I get a flash of fear and anxiety like she’s followed me again to ruin my chipotle run/night out/whatever.
This got super long, but basically, my mom is really shitty, we don’t get along, and I don’t know if we ever will. And of course, thinking about these things makes me angry, but I still love my mom for some reason or other, so once I’m done being angry I just get really really sad. Like, why can’t I have a mother who doesn’t do these things? What did I do to deserve this? What is so wrong with me as a person that she can’t be nice to her own fucking child? Why can't I get along with my mom, who's supposed to be the person who loves me the most since babyhood?
All of this has come to a head as I’ve been preparing to leave medical school - because of course, my parents don’t want that to happen, and she feels betrayed and angry and like I’ve wasted all their money and I’m going to be a failed wastrel on the side of the road because she thinks my undergrad degree is shit and a HS degree can’t get me anywhere. She’s also told me I’m wasting my brain, wasting my youth, etc. -- these are third world parents who made it in a first world country, and basically, to them, it's this, law, or engineering. I want to study filmmaking. =_=
And it hurts because the fact of the matter is, I’m quitting because my mental health can’t handle it anymore. I’m depressed, my anxiety has gotten proportionally worse, my body is actually manifesting symptoms (grinding teeth, acid reflux, irritable bowel) I’ve become a shadow of myself, lost weight, lost interest in life, I barely leave the house, I’ve been between a 3 and a 7 on the suicidal scale for almost a year, in and out of counseling, just feeling generally horrible.
And she doesn’t care. Because she’s “already told everyone” I’m in medical school and it’s embarrassing that I’m quitting. She’s said she’s not telling anyone, and I can do it myself. Like I’m not stressed enough about coming out of this depressive episode and fucking notifying my friends and colleagues. Like I’m not stressed enough dealing with my health!
But no. We’ve got to focus on her.
TL;DR: My JNMom has been doing shitty things to me my whole life, including invalidating my sexuality, boundary stomping in the form of GPS tracking, snooping, mail-reading, etc, adult-ifying me kind of? when I didn’t want that, and causing me to have horrible body image and disordered eating habits. Now I am going through a major life change (leaving med school) due to some pretty gnarly mental and physical health issues, and she pretty much only cares about how it’s affecting her, even though I am clearly suffering. I don’t know how to deal, my dad enables hemight also be a JN, and my fiance hates her because of the way she makes me feel.
I really just want a mom who cares about me right now, and it’s tearing me apart. I might need some advice, some tough love, I don’t know but I hope y’all can help. Thanks for making it this far.
submitted by americanindignant to JUSTNOMIL [link] [comments]


2018.05.25 23:10 DontWeDoItInTheRoad BEATles copypastas (spread these within and without reddit like a thick disease)

🤔 Does Donald J Trump want to eat Paul McCartney's ass?

for some weird reason ( im not gay) the image it stuck in my mind when I saw Paul back in 1992 from a really short distance was that of his huge ass. for years I thought well maybe being squezzed as I was at the time by the crowd in the stadium it messed up my vision a little bit. and now decades later I come across this video and theres a picture of him I have never seen before and is no other than the one at 00:55 showing the big weird looking ass I saw ages ago. I said to people at the time !Paul has a huge fat ass! and they all would say naaa you tripping, dude kind of skinny man! well glad to see the evidence then after all this years. I wasnt tripping AT ALL!

Yellow Submarine Trailer

Nothing is real. The Beatles, Yellow Submarine. Aaaah, look at all the lonely people. Aaaah look at all the lonely people. Artwork. Photography. Landscapes painted with Beatles sounds. Picture yourself in a boat on a river with tangerine trees, and marmalade skies. We all live in a yellow submarine. The yellow submarine. The forces of good. The Beatles. The Boob. I must complete my bust. Two novels, finished by blueprint. Begin my beguine. Hey Jeremy, must you always talk in rhyme? If I spoke prose, you’d all find out. I don’t know what I talk about. He’s a real nowhere man, sitting in his nowhere land. The forces of evil. Robin, the butterfly stomper. Snapping Turtle Turks. The Apple Bonkers. The terrible Flying Glove. The arch villain, the Blue Meanie. You could pass for the originals. We are the originals. We’re Sgt. Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Band, we hope you will enjoy the show! Sgt. Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Band, sit back and let the evening go! Sgt. Pepper’s Lonely, Sgt. Pepper’s Lonely, Sgt. Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Band! Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds! Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds! Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds! Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds! All you need is love, love! Love is all you need. It’s all in the mind you know. Hey! Look at John, will ya? What’s the matter, John love? Blue Meanies? Newer and bluer Meanies have been sighted within the vicinity of this theater! There’s only one way to go out. How’s that? Singing! One! Two! Three! Four! We all live in a yellow submarine, yellow submarine, yellow submarine.

John's Abuse Joked

Idk... but a lot of the jokes being made about Lennon’s abuse both on here and on Instagram really annoy me. I mean, he was going through a rough time... and it wasn’t like it was EXTREMELY severe. He was drunk, high or both a lot of the time. I’m not condoning this, heck, abuse of any kind is one of the worst things to happen to anyone, and I feel bad for Cynthia...
But I feel like it’s wrong and disrespectful to keep either joking about the abuse, or demonizing John for it. That’s just my view. Does anyone agree?

Finna S U C C John's D I C C A Bit More

This again? John was a complex person. Anyone can be an abusive violent asshole. But John acknowledged his dark side in public and fought from then only to be a better human being and spread the message of love and peace.
So what is the point of this post? To say to everyone that we are are forever trapped in the prison of our genes and upbringing and no attempts that we make to better ourselves will ever count?

Creepypasta: Run For Your Life

Imagine you're yourself just listening to the Beatles, you're listening to Rubber Soul, you love that album, it's your favorite and you love all the songs on them...almost all of them. Run for your life is a song that John Lennon says he regrets writing, some say it's because it was about abuse (which is BS because he loved to beat his waifu), but rumor has it that the song is cursed, and knowing this, you avoid listening to it, only occasionally accidentally hearing the first few chords. The odd thing is sometimes when you accidentally hear them and then stop the album, you can hear something in the distance , it sounds something like slapping, but you aren't sure.
One day, you're outside, enjoying the summer sun with your phone playing your favorite album while reading your favorite book, you feel relaxed, suddenly, a neighbor comes over (she's a sweet old lady, she talks about her grandchildren and she goes on about how one of them is now graduating high school or something) then while talking, you didn't notice till it started, the song started playing, Run for your life. The song made the lady nervous, when it was almost done, she said she had to go, she waddled away as fast as her wrinkles could carry her.
When she's gone, you hear that slapping sound, it's quiet at first, but grows loud as the seconds tic on, they sound like they're behind you, you turn behind you, you see a blurry thing in the trees behind you, seemingly moving forward. You're scared but look at it was it reveals itself as it comes out of the trees, and bushes, it's a creature that you thought was only a legend, it was an absolute madman. You wanted to scream as it seemingly glides across the grass toward you, holding a poorly drawn knife and blooding coming out of his eyes and him singing "imagine" but in a deep pitch. You're so scared, when you finally scream, it's too late and he kills you like he did to Paul in 6619.
How do I know this happened to you? Because I am you, you're dead, I am dead, you're in Hell, I'm in hell, I'm typing this from my computer in my demon apartment (expensive rent by nice view :/ ). I'm also from the future, But you're in the past, The Beatles are in hell, too, all of them except Rigno, physically, his soul is in hell, but his body is still alive for some reason.
You also need to know this, read the first word of every paragraph, and don't look in front of you.

Creepypasta: I Saw Paul

October 8th, 2013, Wednesday Morning
On one sunny day, I was minding my own business having my cup of coffee. (As always) and going outside to get some air. As I was stepping outside I've noticed a blank DVD on my porch steps. The case had nothing on it but mild blood stains. I quickly brought it inside to watch it. As I was starting it up, my computer keyboard went haywire and kept on clicking the Tab button. Nevertheless I thought it glitched out. (Due to the fact that my computer is a Windows Vista.)
The DVD loaded up, and the opening was quite disturbing. It was a figure of John Lennon from a distance stabbing someone on the floor in a dark hall way, with only tiny little beams of light shining. My mind was racing with a whole bunch of question. "Did The Beatles really do this?" "Is that John Lennon?". As John was stabbing that person his song Imagine was playing in the background. I was quite shock of this!
But the song didn't play normally... Instead it had a much slower tempo to it, and John Lennon was saying "Imagine there's no Paul, it's easy if you try." I only guessed one thing, it's Paul McCartney he was stabbing! But why? Why would he kill his own bandmate? I continued to watch it. After John finished stabbing that person, the camera got closer to the body. When the camera made its way to the body, it showed Paul McCartney with his eyes removed, nose sliced off, and blood coming out throw his mouth. The sight of that made me lose my appetite!
Then after that, The scene continues with John Lennon in a dark room repeating, "Turn me on, dead man" and, "I WILL bury Paul" as John was saying that, he was sharping his knife. Until a gentle knock came on the door. It looked like it was George Harrison. This person said, "John, wheres Paul?" John Lennon simply replied with, "Imagine there's no Paul. It's easy if you try..." George knew that John went off the deep end.
But he said in a louder tone, "WHY JOHN??!!! WHY??!!!" The screen went black. I wasn't sure if it was my computer or the DVD. Anyways, the screen was flashing like if someone was flicking the bathroom lights on you. I paused as quick as I can to see who was under all those lights. After all those unsuccessful attempts, I finally got it. Under all those lights, George was on the floor dead.
The scene then continued to an abandoned city. It showed Ringo Starr, on a small rock, with a noose tied up, and it showed Ringo's hand grabbing it. The screen went black and twisted voice screaming was heard. I felt like vomiting! I've not heard something that demonic since watching The Exorcist. The screen stayed black for about 20 seconds, and during does 20 seconds was the sound of female fans crying.
And by that time, I couldn't take it anymore. So, I took the DVD out, and brought it to dump.
October 9th, 2013, Wednesday Morning
I got up this morning, went on my newly updated computer. (Windows 8) and saw the news. Paul McCartney Was Killed! It said that he was stabbed to death. isn't it ironic?

I Actually Really Like Yellow Submarine Side 2

To be fair, you have to have a very high IQ to understand Yellow Submarine Side 2. The Lyrics Are extremely subtle, and without a solid grasp of music theory most of the themes will go over a typical listener’s head. There’s also Jeremy Hillary Boob PhD’s nihilistic outlook, which is deftly woven into his characterisation- his personal philosophy draws heavily from Narodnaya Volya literature, for instance. The fans understand this stuff; they have the intellectual capacity to truly appreciate the depths of these lyrics, to realise that they’re not just catchy- they say something deep about LIFE. As a consequence people who dislike Yellow Submarine Side 2 truly ARE idiots- of course they wouldn’t appreciate, for instance, the genius in "Yellow Submarine in Pepperland”, which itself is a cryptic reference to Turgenev’s Russian epic Fathers and Sons. I’m smirking right now just imagining one of those addlepated simpletons scratching their heads in confusion as Faul’s genius wit unfolds itself on their AudioLaserdisc™ player. What fools.. how I pity them. 😂
And yes, by the way, i DO have a Yellow Submarine Side 2 tattoo. And no, you cannot see it. It’s for the ladies’ eyes only- and even then they have to demonstrate that they’re within 5 IQ points of my own (preferably lower) beforehand. Nothin personnel kid 😎

"People" Just Can't Grasp The Genius Of The Beatles

To be fair, you have to have a very high IQ to understand The Beatles. The lyrics are extremely subtle, and without a solid grasp of theoretical instrumentation most of the notes will go over a typical listener’s head. There’s also John’s nihilistic outlook, which is deftly woven into his songwriting- his personal philosophy draws heavily from Narodnaya Volya literature, for instance. The fans understand this stuff; they have the intellectual capacity to truly appreciate the depths of these songs, to realize that they’re not just catchy- they say something deep about LIFE. As a consequence people who dislike The Beatles truly ARE idiots- of course they wouldn’t appreciate, for instance, the beauty in Paul’s existential track “Why Don't We Do It In The Road,” which itself is a cryptic reference to Turgenev’s Russian epic Fathers and Sons. I’m smirking right now just imagining one of those addlepated simpletons scratching their heads in confusion as The Beatles’ genius wit unfolds itself on their speakers. What fools.. how I pity them. 😂
And yes, by the way, I DO have an Abbey Road tattoo. And no, you cannot see it. It’s for the ladies’ eyes only- and even then they have to demonstrate that they’re within 5 IQ points of my own (preferably lower) beforehand. Nothin personnel kid 😎

stoP WitH The mEmes thIs Is StarTing to trUn tO i junK i wAnt BeAtLe ConvErsaTiOns And nEwS noT MeMes

I'vE beEn a luRkEr fOr The BeAtLes SuBrEdDit For A yeAr Now, I've seeN tHe bLeSsEd AnD tHe damMed. ReMembEr tHe FrAnk CrIsp DrAma? WEll What goEs on noW iS 20x woRsE tHat. I gO on tHis SubReDdIt to LoOk for gOoD, mEaNinGful aNd wEll WritTen diScUssIons and posTs bUt WhAt to I Get? Crap mEmeS WitH Crap pUncHliNes AcCompAnieD wItH Crap piCturEs. We gEt iT You DoN'T LikE YOko, nO onE cAres. No onE evEr tRiEs tO evEn sTarT A diScUsSioN As Well, wE'Ve BeComE Num WitH aLl ThiS shIt tHaT wE jUsT LeT iT crAwl oVeR us likE rAtS In SeweR. ThiS shIt cOmeDy Has To stoP or thIs sub iS jUst GoNnA to be ForGottEn aboUt wItH a yeaR. I wanT thIs suB To bE A PlaCe WheRe faNs Can DisCuSs tOpIcS FreEly and nOt bE dRonEd OuT by all tHis baD, sOme hOw, poPuLar MemEs. So plEase, hEaR mE Out On thIs One.

"Based On The Interactions I've Had With The Mods Here, They Are Very Pro-Free Speech"

I've remained mostly silent about this, but yeah I agree. Some of the memes are funny, most of them are not. Like yeah, I get that picture of John looking like a cowboy made of denim is goofy, but it's not as funny to us regulars who've been on the sub for years and have seen this picture dozens of times.
The problem is, we have a large population of younger Beatles fans, and if there's anything I know about people my age, we love memes. I don't have problems when they're well done, but some people think that the shittier your shitpost is, the funnier it is, when that's really not the case.
On the other side, a lot of suggestions that I hear when people talk about this is to either ban them or move them to another sub. I don't believe that either of these are the right solution at all. Banning them is really silly and based on the interactions I've had with the mods here, they are very pro-free speech. For instance, there was a large influx of Paul is Dead nuts posting here one time and I asked the mods if they had considered banning posts related to the conspiracy theory similar to /Nirvana did with conspiracy theories around Kurt Cobain's death. Their response was that even if the posts are low quality or factually incorrect, they should still have the right to be able to post them.
My suggestion is this: downvote them. That's all you gotta do. If the people of this sub truly think that these memes are irrelevant to our sub, then downvote it. You guys don't seem to have a problem downvoting me when I give opinions that you don't agree with, why can't you downvote a low effort meme? "

Regarding Memes

Hello all!
I'm going to keep it short and sweet. /Beatles has always aimed to be a place for all kinds of beatles fans. Those interested in trivia, photos, jokes, videos and, of course, memes.
It's important to note that we are in no way against memes and try not to censor content at all, memes are one of reddit's main assets after all. However, recently there seems to have been a surge of them and we've seen many of your responses - either in messages to the moderators or as responses to posts.
As a result we have temporarily cracked down on the memes, primarily the repetitive 'madman' ones. This is not a permanent solution and we will not be removing all of them, but enough so that the sub doesn't seem so filled up with them.
Please post your opinions on the situation and how we could possibly take care of it in the comments, we want this to be a place for all beatlemaniacs.
-The /Beatles Mods

Can Someone Please Explain...

Could someone please explain this subreddit to me? I only came across it yesterday when I made my second reddit account (this one).
Is it a club of John-haters?

Why Ringo Starr Is A Reptillian Space Wizard Sent Here To Take Over Our Government

hello my sweet lords, u/stefanristic02 back at you again with another sick post about the johnlennonbeat-les. before i begin the post, dont forget to mod me, and smash that upvote button. lets see if we can get to 2 upvotes.
EDIT - WE DID IT! LET'S SEE IF WE CAN GET 10 UPVOTES EDIT 2 - MY SWEET LORD WE DID IT! LETS SEE IF WE CAN GET TO 20 UPVOTES EDIT 3 - DON'T FORGET TO JOIN THE RINGO STAR IS A REPTILLIAN SPACE WIZARD DISCORD - https://discord.gg/Y9eaUsm
all right now im going to teach you a lesson about the buzzles. in 1966 paul mccartney was unfortunately ran over, replaced by "faul" mccartney. however, what people havent considered is why he was ran over. some think it was an accident, but it wasn't. the moon landing was an accident , but paul's death wasn't.
It was actually done by the lizardpeople in the white house to distract the world from the real scandal - ringo starr is a reptilian space wizard. of course the battles were aware of this, and the clues are everywhere. ringo is wearing a human flesh suit, and is actually only the size of a hamster. he hides in ringos nose, controlling him, which is why his nose is so big. He named himself Ringo Starr becayse he had ringworm at the time and he came from the starrs
the lizardpeople in the white house were turned into lizards by ringo because he is a space wizard and is magical. he says peace and love a lot because that's a code, as it is an acronym for People Engineer A Cheeky Electrical Accident Near Devon - Lots Of Veal Eaten. this has a clear meaning - humanity can only create faults and mistakes, and eat veal. this is why ringo does not eat veal - he is not a human.
ringo joined the beatles because he promised jim lenin a lifetime supply of strawberry callipos if he could play the drums. jimmy accepted the agreement and was famously very happy with his callipos, and wrote many songs about them. for example, penny lane was actually written to mock the working class, who had to work hard and pay for callipos, while johnny got his own private stash. however, he eventually regretted the agreement - he had beaten his wife so much that he was rather skilled at the drums now.
cheeky ringo
anyway, the other bootles were rather cross with him joining, and wrote many songs hinting it. the song it won't be long was about how it won't be long until ringo took over the world. i'll follow the sun was referencing ringos space ship. I want to be your man was Ringo desperately trying to prove that he is a man. Lovely Rita was actually the space leader. Yesterday was about how faul's girlfriend was probed. john also farted lol.
there are plenty more examples, but ringworm was never caught
until now.
But it goes so much further. ringo not only staged a coup, he also controls everything. literally everything. he is in every atom. proof? Here it is.
Ringos surname is Starr. Starr fish are in the sea. What else is in the sea? Octopi. Octopi release ink when agitated. Ink is used in fountain pens. Fountains are used in parks all the time - parks are a big source of grass to fight global warming - globes don't exist because the earth is flat - tires get flat - that means you can't travel easily - people travel across the world in planes - planes are used by the military - the military use planes to drop bombs - what type of bombs? ATOM BOMBS. ATOM BOMBS DROP ATOMS.
RINGO DROPS ATOMS WHEN HE DROPS THAT ASS BECAUSE HE IS ATOMS
HE IS US
WE ARE HIM
HELP US PLEASE
PLEASE STOP INVADING US RINGWORM
Alright thanks for watching guys, don't forget to make me mod, follow on Instagram and Twitter, don't forget to swipe right on tinder, like my Snapchat page, link in my linkedin, pin my Pinterest, subscribe to my newsletter, buy my book, listen to my Spotify playlist and have a very pleasant day.
Little babies and old fucks are probably familiar with the Beatles, the fab four from Manchester who created songs for a the first generation of Beliebers to listen to. "Just harmless pop music" I hear you say. THAT'S WHERE YOU'RE WRONG YOU FUCKING MANSPLAINING SHITHEAD! You'd have to be doing a STEM subject, a trade, or special ed not to notice some of their problematic lyrics and images in their records. Some people like my fucking straight white cis male grandpa (glad you're dead you old fuck) say that they're just from a different time and that this was just how things were back then, but that's a problematic viewpoint to have. If art or culture from another time doesn't conform to my 21st century viewpoint, then I'm in my full right to censor it to prevent it from hurting other people. Now, on to the tofu of the matter. These are four songs from the Beatles that are racist, sexist, homophobic or problematic in general.

The Beatles' PROBLEMATIC Albums

1- She's a Woman
The first entry on my list is a fucking shitty song by Paul McCartney about his "love" who was probably a 15 year old groupie, the fucking pedo. The song is fucking boring, except for one line. The title of the song, "She's a Woman". HOW FUCKING DARE YOU ASSUME XYR GENDER YOU FUCKING CIS WHITE MALE! This wouldn't be a problem otherwise, but I myself have suffered from gender discrimination. My manager at Walmart referred to me as a "she" when I had mentally transitioned to genderneutral the night before. I can't believe that she didn't know about it, as I had tweeted about it and wrote about it on my Tumblr blog.
2- Run For Your Life
Did you know that John Lennon beat his wife? Of course you did, because the shithead just looks like a fucking wife beater. He didn't exactly keep this secret, though, and mentioned it in several of his shitty songs. This one just takes the piss however. "You better run for your life if you can, little girl". First, "little girl" I THINK THEIR ALL JUST PEDOS!. Secondly, this is a threat that could trigger PTSD in women who have been abused. I myself was once assaulted by a local butcher when he viciously told me to get out of his shop when I was protesting his use of meat. I was only using his fire extinguisher to ruin his murder spoils, he should have helped me! It being his "property" doesn't even matter because they're shouldn't even be private property. Remember what Freddie Mercury said. "Imagine no possessions, I wonder if you can" and I think he should have listened to more Queen. Anyway, to conclude, John beat his wife.
3- Something
This song is problematic in the fact that it promotes unrealistic standards in women. "I want a short haired girl who sometimes wears it twice as long". How dare George Parasol tell ME how to wear MY hair! Songs like this were probably the reason that boys never talked to me in high school. This song should've promoted body positivity and had a line "A GIRL CAN BE 197 KILOS AT 16 IF SHE WANTS TO AND ITS YOUR FUCKING FAULT THAT SHES THAT HEAVY ADRIAN JUST BECAUSE YOU WENT OUT WITH THAT WHORE ASHLEY INSTEAD OF ME I BET SHES FUCKING STUPID AND YOU ONLY WENT OUT WITH HER FOR HER FUCKING HUGE TITS! I hope George dies of cancer.
4- George Harrison
George Harrison is a fucking racist. He probably just became a muslim because it was cool. On behalf of all Indians, I apologise for that fucking white person's disrespect of youre country. He had the gall to steal the Suitar from Indistan and play it on his old fuck white people records. I think, if I was an Indian, I would be horrified by the level of cultural appropriation and demand reparations. Another aspect of him thats racist is his use of indian music, which is theirs and you shouldn't be allowed to learn or play if you are a white person. He also started the concert for pakistan, but probably stole all the money because he's a greedy rich white male. He also cheated on his wife because she cheated on him. IF A WOMAN WANTS TO HAVE SEX WITH ANOTHER MAN, SHE SHOULD BE ALLOWED TO YOU SEXIST! He is just overall a fucking bigot.
Anyway, those are my reasons that the Beatles are fucking racist, sexist and bigoted and should be banned in any progressive country. Please give me more reasons in the comments and reblog.

I Will Now Prove That John Lennon Died

I will now prove that John Lennon died. While making Magical Mystery Tour John overdosed on drugs and died. They had to finish the album, and so they had to replace all of Side B with singles. Paul was put in John's place in all his unfinished scenes; The Walrus Was Paul. They had to find someone who looked like him, so they found someone who looked similar, but was married to Yoko Ono. He wouldn't divorce her at any cost, so they had to deal with her as well as this new John. He also had to do a John Lennon impression, so that's why his voice sounds deeper in his songs. He couldn't handle so he just took too many drugs. They had to do the White Album seperatly, because the songwriting wasn't as strong between this fake John and Paul. Blue Jay Way was written about John's death "Please don't be long" showing George's dissapproval of them replacing John, wishing he would come back. While My Guitar Gently Weeps is also about that. John was the other guitar player. It's also hinted in the end of Yellow Submarine. At the live action part at the end, John has like 2 lines. On Abbey Road John is the only one in white. White is considered a heavenly colour. Turn Me On Dead Man and I'd love to turn you on. It's Johnnys Birthday was also about John. Sad to see that wonderful man pass away at such a young age, and I wish that they would reveal the truth about it

Complete List Of Things The Beatles Invented:

Boy bands, One Direction - The Beatles
Punk, metal, heavy rock - helter skelter
Rap - I Am The Walrus
Peace - John Lennon
MTV - All You Need Is Love broadcast
Indie rock - RAM
Album filler - Ringo songs
Studio banter on an album - Let It Be album
Music Videos - the A Hard Days Night film
Psychedelia - Lucy In The Sky With Diamonds
Underrated Songs - Hey Bulldog
Hidden bonus tracks - Her Majesty
Ed Sheeran - Her Majesty
Diss tracks - How Do You Sleep
Lo-fi garage rock - Polythene Pam
Grunge rock - Plastic Ono Band (Lennon)
“pet sounds” - Rubber Soul album
EDM - Tomorrow Never Knows
Tame Impala - It’s All Too Much
Twee Pop - Her Majesty
Concept Albums - Sgt Peppers
Emo - Don’t Bother Me
Trans-positivity - Polythene Pam, Lovely Rita, Get Back, Ob-La-Di
Bands playing stadium venues - Shea Stadium Concert
Bands wearing leather jackets - Cavern Club performances
Avant-Garde - Revolution 9
Combining takes - Strawberry Fields Forever
The inclusion of french horns in pop music - For No One
“Absolute madman” meme - john lennon walking with yoko ono
Mom-rock - paul mccartney
Dad-rock - george harrison
Stoner-rock - also george harrison
Low-effort album covers - White Album
Band break ups - the beatles (1970)
The Word
This Boy commented they made Shoegaze genre decades before MBV with Wild Honey Pie

This Is A Serious Message

this is a SERIOUS message to everybody watching my update right now peace and love peace and love i want to tell you, please, after the twentieth of october do not send fan mail to any address that you have nothing will be signed after the twentieth of october if that has a date on the envelope it's gonna be TOSSED i'm warning you with peace and love but i have too much to do so no more fan mail thank you thank you and no objects to be signed NOTHING uhhh anywaypeaceandlovepeaceandlove

FUCK

the FUCK did you just say about john lennon? the man has more fucking talent in his ring finger than you do in your entire body john made more money by dying than you and i will ever make being alive john and paul literally revolutionized how songs are even thought of and what the modern pop song is every fucking boyband owes their asses to the beatles there was no boy band before the beatles there was just like elvis and shit but the beatles were more than the silly plasticine boybands we get nowadays they fucking EVOLVED like badass 60s pokemon they went from singing about love to fucking WALRUSES and DIAMONDS and GLASS ONIONS all in the span of 8 years so before you MOUTH OFF again about john you'd better think twice, punk

Billy Shears Is Dead

The year is 1961. The Beatles have just finished a gig in Hamburg and are celebrating near the docks. Suddenly, in his drunken state, John Lennon mistakes Paul McCartney for his wife and beats him. The tipsy Paul is unable to keep his balance and falls into the waters below. The other Beatles immediately realise what just happened and flee the scene. A month later, they find a replacement for Paul. For the next five years they play and reach world fame with their replacement bassist William 'Pepper' Shears until the fateful date. An unprecedented all-nighter for Revolver ends in the early hours of Wednesday and the Beatles hear a knock at the door. Ringo is the first to answer. "Who is it" he asks, "Postman" a familiar voice answers. As Ringo opens the door the man on the other side kicks it hard, knocking Ringo to the floor. John takes a second to recognise him. It's Paul McCartney, and he's pissed! He swam back to the shore in a minute that night, but the others had fled the scene before he could make it. He had spent the intervening years practising with his bass, his voice, and a gun. Before John can tackle him, he fires three shots. Billy Shears is hit in the shoulder and runs for the door. Paul is able to swiftly push John off while George is too busy taking a shit. Billy grabs his car keys and starts speeding off, but Paul fires two more shots which hit Billy's tyre and his windscreen. With shattered glass all over his face and losing control of the car, Billy careens off into a nearby lampost and flies through the shattered windscreen. He dies on impact. After disposing of the body, Paul makes his way back into Abbey Road. "So, where did we leave off?" Paul asks.
Anyway this is my proof that Paul killed Faul.
fixes Groucho Marx glasses and comedy fake mustache.

THE FACT THAT

The fact that so many books still name the Beatles as "the greatest or most significant or most influential" rock band ever only tells you how far rock music still is from becoming a serious art. Jazz critics have long recognized that the greatest jazz musicians of all times are Duke Ellington and John Coltrane, who were not the most famous or richest or best sellers of their times, let alone of all times. Classical critics rank the highly controversial Beethoven over classical musicians who were highly popular in courts around Europe. Rock critics are still blinded by commercial success. The Beatles sold more than anyone else (not true, by the way), therefore they must have been the greatest. Jazz critics grow up listening to a lot of jazz music of the past, classical critics grow up listening to a lot of classical music of the past. Rock critics are often totally ignorant of the rock music of the past, they barely know the best sellers. No wonder they will think that the Beatles did anything worthy of being saved.
submitted by DontWeDoItInTheRoad to beatlescirclejerk [link] [comments]


2017.12.29 22:41 Drunken_Norman How many red flags is too many? Do you run or work them out?

TL;DR: After boyfriend fucked up on Christmas Eve, I’m reexamining and noticing red flags: an ex still living with him, substance abuse, possible major lies, and impulsive behavior. However, theres a bunch of major qualities and he has a lot of what I look for in a guy. Am I being rash and quick to misinterpret things, negative, cynical, and over-reactive and possibly miss out on a great relationship without putting in the effort? Or is that just wishful thinking and I’m better off ending this while it’s young and moving on and sparing myself potential pain?
Alright, reddit. Buckle up and get ready for a really long load of some steamy hot bullshit. I apologize in advance for the exceptional length and what-the-fuckery that will entail.
Me – I’m a 25yo gay man. I have a well-paying career as a software tester. I own my own house. I’ve never really had a real committed relationship before and the current one is the record setter at 3 months. I haven’t had particularly good experiences. First serious attempt tried to kill me (literally). The next two were “not ready for a relationship.”
Him – He’s (We’ll call him Chris) a 37yo gay man. He claims to have been in the US Army Special Forces (Green Berets) for 9 years. Shot three times in Afghanistan in 2003, won a Bronze Star and Purple Heart. Was medically retired three years later. Now he works as a Nurse Practitioner in Infectious Diseases and volunteers twice a year in the Congo. He also owns his own house 8 miles away. His ex (we’ll call him Matt) still lives with him because he’s 100% dependent upon him.
The Situation:
We met on Grindr (surprise) back in late August. The initial invitation was for a simple hook-up. Instead, we went out to dinner, had a really nice conversation, then watched Game of Thrones. I was pleasantly surprised. Then his roommate came home (I found out a little later it was his ex). We went out a few more times. I noticed he was extremely affectionate early on, calling me babe and sweetheart and putting his arms around me. I was slightly uncomfortable since I thought one week in was a bit early to start doing that. On our third date, we went to a Mexican place and he managed to drink 2 beers and 6 tequilas, forcing me to drive.
We didn’t see each other for a little while because I went on a trip to Europe for two weeks, and about the time I got back, Chris went to a medical conference in Rome then to Orlando to help with the hurricane relief effort. We chatted almost daily but nothing too involved. I wasn’t sure I wanted a relationship just yet. When Chris got back we went to dinner and I told him about my trepidations. I expressed a rather cynical view of relationships and mentioned I was uncomfortable with the premature displays of affection before we really got to know each other. I wanted to take things slow. A few days later, I figured I’d try to show him some affection. I invited him over for a elaborate dinner and we watched Game of Thrones then went upstairs to do the deed. Halfway through, he had to leave because he said he wasn’t sure I was interested since I always seem so distant and closed. I told him I had some bad experiences and would go into more detail later.
I tried again to show him my affection by planning a date for him. We spent the day doing touristy stuff. At dinner, I upheld my promise and I told him all about my past. He was very understanding and was happy he now knew what he was dealing with. A couple weeks later, however, he sent me a text after work saying he thought I was a wonderful person but he didn’t think I was ready for a relationship since I was so hesitant to really open up. I asked that we talk in person rather than text and he obliged the next day. We had a heart-to-heart and I obliged to open up. I totally 180’ed. I was affectionate both verbally and physically. We decided to pursue a committed relationship (this was two months after we met). I gave it 110% and didn’t want to make the same mistake twice. It was noticed and things got off to a great start. Now that things were going well, I decided to broach the issue that was bothering me – his ex still living with him. I told him I didn’t think our relationship could progress as long as he was still around. I asked that steps be taken for him to move out. He told me Matt was 100% dependent on him. Matt was uneducated, unemployed, had no friends, was disowned by his parents, had no functional life skills like filing for health insurance, managing money, or even cooking. He told me they broke up 18 months ago but he couldn’t just leave him homeless. He also considers his ex his best friend because in the past two years they’ve gotten to know each other very well. So not only does he provide free shelter, he gives him $1000/month as an allowance. I argued that if he liked his ex so much and wanted to help him as a friend, it would be better to teach him to fish so to speak than keep him dependent. He agreed to start helping him transition to being on his own but didn’t give me a timetable.
I had been avoiding going to his house because I didn’t want to deal with the ex and any potential drama. I finally went over one night. It went about as well as you would expect. Matt ran to his room crying and I left early. Chris then told me the next day they had a serious chat and it would no longer be a problem and to trust him. I went over again. This time, Matt literally ran away. Chris and I come home from an outing to find Matt gone, but his keys, wallet, phone, jacket all left behind. I urged Chris to call the cops. Matt was found the following morning 20 miles away. He had walked to Chris’ parents’ house overnight. I told Chris this was really trying my patience. He again said he had another talk with Matt and it wouldn’t be a problem. I gave him yet another chance. The next time I went over, while we were in his room watching Netflix, Matt barged in and ordered me to leave saying “If I can’t be in that bed, no one can. Didn’t you tell him we were still in a relationship?” I left and told Chris Matt had to leave if he wants this relationship to work. The next day, Chris said he served Matt a 90 day eviction notice, however, he still sounded like he had feelings for Matt. In his text he said he could barely serve the notice because the harsh legal language was too painful. He “came home and wrapped [his] arms around him and held him.” They had a long talk and Matt would start looking for a place. (Mind you that was one month ago and Matt still isn’t anywhere closer to moving out on his own and Chris isn’t pressuring him.)
Things calmed down after that for about a month. Now, I know it sounds right now like a bunch of negative stuff and any sane person would leave. But there are a lot of good qualities to Chris and our relationship. We enjoy great chemistry, similar interests and core values. We don’t really argue with hostility, we discuss and listen to each other. He gave me a chance to open up so I figured I’d give him a chance to deal with his ex. We went on an amazing trip for Veteran’s Day. We were able to spend days together without any drama. I was attracted to him. We were physically compatible. I loved his generous nature. I liked that he was financially stable and lived nearby. Remove the ex from the equation and we had a fantastic relationship. He often went out of his way to help me when I needed it.
As Billy Mayes would say, BUT WAIT THERE’S MORE!!! Christmas Eve was a genuine shit show. The last couple weeks he had been extremely sick. He made it worse by continuing to work. I repeatedly told him not to work since 1) he was getting physically worse and 2) he was putting his already sick patients at risk by exposing them to his illness, which I argues was grossly irresponsible. He ended up ignoring me and went to a medical conference then had to check himself into the emergency room for bacterial bronchitis and strep compounded with dehydration. He was kept overnight. A few days later, he said he was better. He apologized for being stupid. I asked that we spend Christmas Eve together.
I helped him with his last minute shopping. The plan was to watch his traditional Christmas eve movie, then watch mine, then eat dinner, then join my family for Christmas Eve church. After his movie ended, he said he needed to go home to wrap gifts. I expressed my disappointment and said I thought we were going to spend the whole evening together. He conceded. I ran upstairs to put a load in the washing machine. Suddenly he said he needed to go home to change into nicer clothes for church. I said he had 5 hours to go, why did he need to change so early? Why not watch my movie in comfortable clothes, then get ready? Nope, he had to do it and didn’t have any really logical reason for it. He said he’d be back.
4 hours later, with no response to my calls or texts, I drove to his house. Apparently, when he got home, he went got high with his neighbor, went out to a bar, came home and got blackout drunk (he later claimed he went to the bar for 30 mins and simply took a Benadryl to stop coughing and passed out, I’m not really buying it). I felt so abandoned, rejected, betrayed, and hurt. I spent the evening alone at home. At midnight he woke up and wanted to talk. I went over since I wouldn’t have him driving. He was dismissive, then defensive, then apologetic. I asked him why he did it and he said “what did I do?” When I pointed out his fault, he started acting defensive and attacked me for “parenting” him. Finally, he admitted he messed up, but he didn’t intend to, so it wasn’t really that bad and I was over-reacting. I had a hard time believing he just accidentally went to a bar and accidentally had several drinks all while knowing I was waiting for him back home and that we had a commitment that night that meant a lot to me. After he put on a show of feeling guilty, I offered my forgiveness. I told him to not do it again and move on. He said he didn’t know how to move on and chose to wallow in self-pity. But he told me he was so sorry and would spend however long it took to make it up because I’m worth it. The whole time though, he could barely sit up or even look at me. He was clearly still drunk. I went to my parents at 0200 and spent Christmas day feeling like shit.
The day after I decided to offer him an olive branch. I invited him to dinner. He came over. The interaction was tense and awkward. I told him that the dinner plans we had Thursday with my family wouldn’t be a good idea since my parents were quite furious with him. He snapped. He told me I should never have gotten my parents involved (I was abandoned on Christmas and they were wondering why we weren’t at church. No shit they found out). He now feels like he’s got an uphill battle and he’ll never win they’re good graces. After he awkwardly left (for an emergency at the hospital), I received a litany of angry texts about me over-reacting and how now he will never feel welcomed and comfortable around my family and he doesn’t know how the relationship can work with that and with me “pulling the ejection chord” at every little incident. I responded, I am willing to do whatever you require to resolve this so we can move on. He responded “Good night”. The next morning, I sent him a break-up text and blocked him. He pulled that shit on me earlier, so I in my anger did the same. (However, the text itself was very professional). Later that day, he called me on a different phone asking to talk. We agreed to talk in a couple days. That night my father came up to do dinner with me. It just so happened, Chris couldn’t wait. As my father and I were leaving, Chris knocked on my door. My father left us (though texted me asking me to be safe and to call him as soon as we were done). We talked. He apologized for his behavior though he couldn’t offer any logical explanation or excuse, only that it wasn’t intentional. Perhaps maybe he got sidetracked? I guess it’s possible. I apologized for not giving him the opportunity earlier to talk it out. But I expressed my concern that his response to the problem was more concern for his reputation than for how he hurt me. We didn’t come to a solid agreement. He wanted to continue but didn’t know if he could knowing my parents now despise him. I wanted to continue, but didn’t know if I could not trusting him. I went out to dinner with my father and we discussed the situation. In retrospection, I saw some red-flags I initially dismissed or ignored.
He keeps texting me trying to apologize and wants to get back together. And when I do talk to him, I feel a strong desire to give him the chance and try to work things out. I don’t know if I’m being a cynic and seeing manipulation where there’s genuine love. Or maybe I’m a wishful thinker. The rational part of me says get the fuck out of this. The emotional part of me says I’m being too harsh and to work things out because relationships require effort. Not even considering how I feel, my parents don’t like him and my father is genuinely concerned particularly about the substance abuse part. One of my best friends says run. He thinks Chris is just trying to manipulate me (though, probably passively) out of a need to not be single at 37. Or maybe he just can't take no for an answer. Or maybe his excessive ego requires him to be in control and things be on his terms. He thinks Chris will tell me what I want to hear to make it work. Though I sense Chris has done some genuinely good things that don't have hidden motives.
Another of my best friends is playing devil's advocate and says I’m being negative, ignoring the good, reacting too quickly, and probably misinterpreting things and seeing red flags where there aren't any; making mountains out of mole hills. He thinks i may have poisoned the well so to speak by telling my parents and asking their advice and that I gave them an angry, biased rendition and they're only seeing my side. He thinks Chris is a good guy and I’m risking losing an otherwise good relationship because of an unfair and unnecessary three-strike rule, instead of forgiving and working things out. I'm really confused. It doesn’t help that Chris still sends me little texts saying he’s sorry and he loves me, which I’m ignoring until I get my head clear.
So reddit, what do you think of this large pile of what the fuck?
Thanks for giving me your time by reading this much. If anything needs clarification, just ask. PMs welcome.
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2017.11.03 08:54 FeelMyOats ANTM - Where Are They Now? (Cycle 1)

Hi guys! So I was on the /rupaulsdragrace sub and I got so inspired by u/evilsnowcookie's "Where Are They Now" post that I decided to incorporate that idea for ANTM
  So this will be a compilation of the different websites and news articles, as well as posts from the girls' social media accounts on what they are up to these days. Maybe if you guys enjoy this, I'd consider making one for the succeeding seasons but for now, lets reminisce on the girls from Cycle 1.
 
  Name: Tessa Carlson Placed: 10th Age: 33 First Call Outs: 0 Bottom 2: 1 Twitter Followers: N/A Instagram Followers: 521 (@tessacarlson) Tessa Carlson on IMDB
  ANTM CYCLE 1 Tessa was a contestant on the first season of America’s Next Top Model. She, along with fellow model Giselle, were the only models of the cycle who were not part of the pool of 20 semi-finalists (they were scouted for and joined the cast after a separate audition). During her brief stint on the show, she was shown to bond with fellow contestant Adrianne Curry through smoking after moving into their NYC Apartment. At their first photo shoot for swimsuits from J.Lo by Jennifer Lopez, photographer Elizabeth Moss commented that “She probably had people teach her how to model the wrong way … that was her problem.” In the end, she was eliminated for lacking a dominant personality and her inability to pose.
  POST-TOP MODEL After the show, Tessa modeled for Noah Kalina and Joey Quintero, but has since decided not to pursue modelling. Despite being eliminated after the first photo shoot, she was included in the next photo shoot for Stuff Magazine, but was not shown in the episode. Since the show premiered in 2003, Tessa has gotten married and has focused on being a mother to two beautiful children.
  Name: Katie Cleary Placed: 9th Age: 36 First Call Outs: 0 Bottom 2: 1 Twitter Followers: 47.1k (@katie_cleary) Instagram Followers: 29.2k (@katiecleary11) Katie Cleary on IMDB
  ANTM CYCLE 1 Katie was a contestant on the first season of America’s Next Top Model. During the casting week, she was called fifth out the eight finalists for the first season (Tyra and the producers planned for 10 models to move into the NYC apartment, but could only agree on 8. The last 2 were scouted in a separate audition). She was eliminated in the second episode for because the judges felt the she photographed too sexy.
  POST-TOP MODEL Katie has been busy since the show’s premiere in 2003. She’s appeared in spreads for Maxim online, Rukus magazine, Marie Claire, Lifestyle magazine, and Vegan lifestyle magazine among others. She has appeared in over a dozen national advertising campaigns for brands such as InterContinental Hotels, Sketchers, Elastiderm Skin Care, AT&T, Nike, Chandon Champagne, Supreme Protein, Cadillac, ProActive, Payless, and as part of the Refreshment Duo for Labatt's Blue Light. She has since landed a role on NBC’s Deal or no Deal where she starred for over four years. She has hosted shows on the TV Guide Channel, E! News Now, as well the travel show “Get Out,” on HDTV. Katie has also has roles on popular TV shows such as CSI NY, Las Vegas, Entourage, *Rules of Engagement, Chuck, Working Class and more recently on How To Get Away With Murder and Two And A Half Men. She is currently represented by Paradigm Talent Agency, Abstract Talent Agency, and CESD Talent.
  Katie is also a philanthropist, founding the Peace4Animals organization. She is also an award winning creator and producer of the documentary Give Me Shelter which premiered on Netflix in 2015. Katie is also the Founder & Producer of the network World Animal News on the popular animal news site WorldAnimalNews.com.
  Since the show, Katie has dated Evan Liss and Gregg Pitt. She was also married to married to Andrew Stern from 2010 until his death in 2014.
  Name: Nicole Nastazio, née Panattoni Placed: 8th Age: 37 First Call Outs: 0 Bottom 2: 1 Twitter Followers: 3,280 (@NicolePanattoni) Instagram Followers: 6,172 (@nicolepanattoni)
  ANTM CYCLE 1 Katie was a contestant on the first season of America’s Next Top Model. During the casting week, she was called first out the eight finalists for the first season (Tyra and the producers planned for 10 models to move into the NYC apartment, but could only agree on 8. The last 2 were scouted in a separate audition). She was eliminated in the third episode due to her lack of commitment (in both her photo shoot and in the makeover).
  POST-TOP MODEL After Cycle 1 aired, Nicole appeared in several maternity catalogs and magazines. Like all the girls from this cycle, she has appeared in a spread for Stuff Magazine. She has appeared in Maxim, Rebel Ink Magazine, ePregnancy, and Surf Illustrated. Nicole has also modeled for Yandy Lingerie, Bikinilicious.com, Nordstrom, Due Maternity, Gnar Lube, For Issuez, Inc., Top Floorr, & La Isla couture. She has been featured in advertisements for Caesar’s Palace in Las Vegas and for Palm’s Casino Resort.
  Nicole has started Bronzed Body SD, Mobile Sunless Tan Mobile Spray Tan servicing all of North County SD. She has also been featured as one of the models on “Deal Or No Deal”, and has appeared on The X Life with boyfriend BMX rider Cory Nastazio. The couple has 2 beautiful children and recently tied the knot in October 2017.
  Name: Ebony Haith Placed: 7th Age: 38 First Call Outs: 1 Bottom 2: 2 Twitter Followers: 464 (@EbonyHaith) Instagram Followers: 539 (@haithebony) Ebony Haith on IMDB
  ANTM CYCLE 1 When Ebony became one of the finalists in America’s Next Top Model, Cycle 1, she was met with harsh criticism from the two very devout Christian ANTM finalists, Robin and Shannon. The conflict escalated when Ebony’s partner dropped by the house, further angering Shannon and Robin. Things turned uglier for Ebony during the judging, as she became the fourth contestant eliminated. The judges reasoned that it was Ebony’s weak performance that drove them to cut her from the show. Source
  POST-TOP MODEL After the show, Ebony was signed onto Downtown Model Management, before moving on to Uptown Model Management (UMM) and Models Management Group (MMG). Currently, I’m not sure what agency she is signed to. She has walked in fashion shows for SA-SHEA and Ice Blue. She’s been shot by photographers such as Quavondo Nguyen, Isabelle Choi, and Umari Jason and has appeared in spreads for Esquire, and Height Magazine. She has also appeared in appeared in Real Gay (a 2005 TV film) and Violet Tendencies (A 2010 movie). According to her instagram, she has shot her first sports shoot/TV show.
  Name: Giselle Samson Placed: 6th Age: 33 First Call Outs: 0 Bottom 2: 2 Twitter Followers: 249 (@GiselleSamson) Instagram Followers: 1,295 (@GiselleBelle84) Giselle Samson on IMDB
  ANTM CYCLE 1 Giselle was a contestant on the first season of America’s Next Top Model. She, along with fellow model Tessa, were the only models of the cycle who were not part of the pool of 20 semi-finalists (they were scouted for and joined the cast after a separate audition).During the fifth week of Cycle 1, both Giselle and fellow finalist Ebony fell into the bottom 2. Giselle was spared as Ebony was sent home, but her performance the following week betrayed her lack of confidence. Her photos with 2003 NFL Rookie of the Year Clinton Portis were not impressive enough to convince the judges to keep her, and so she became the fifth finalist to be cut from the show. Tyra said it was her lack of confidence that hindered her performance. Source
  POST-TOP MODEL After her season aired, Giselle appeared in SWITCH magazine and modeled for the brand Simply Fashion. Giselle was also a model on Deal or No Deal, has hosted segments on the Tyra Banks Show, Fox Sport's Net's "54321", and has appeared on TV shows such as Chuck, The Bold and The Beautiful, the short “Black?”, and has attended The 18th Annual Soul Train Music Awards. As a dancer, she has performed in Disney’s Fantasmic and in Pitbull’s music video Blanco, as well as dance for late Michael Jackson’s 45th birthday celebration. These days, according to her LinkedIn, she works as an Account Executive at HireTalent Executive Search, Temporary Staffing, Recruiting & SOW and is the founder of GLS Enterprises LLC, as well as the CEO of Kiss the Planet. She is currently listed as a model on the Trade Show Models (TSM) agency website.
  Name: Kesse Wallace Placed: 5th Age: 35 First Call Outs: 1 Bottom 2: 2 Twitter Followers: N/A Instagram Followers: N/A Kesse Wallace on IMDB
  ANTM CYCLE 1 During the sixth week, the show flew Kesse and the other remaining Top Model finalists to Paris, where they were asked to pose with a male model wearing only lingerie. The challenge allowed a number of Parisian designers to view the models, and although all of them tried their best to produce spectacular pictures, the judges felt that Kesse did not possess enough desire to advance in the competition. Consequently, Kesse became the sixth finalist to be eliminated. Source
  POST-TOP MODEL As of late, Kesse has been keeping a relatively low profile. Since appearing on the show, Kesse has gone on to work under the management of Gilla Roos (but closed in 2009). Her runway projects include Yeohlee Teng Fall 2005/Spring 2006, Renee Larc for Milan and Francis Hendy. Kesse has also graced the pages of King Magazine and Complex Magazine and has appeared in a Church’s Chicken television commercial. She has also appeared in King Magazine and in Complex Magazine.
  Name: Robin Manning Placed: 4th Age: 41 First Call Outs: 0 Bottom 2: 1 Twitter Followers: 208 (@Robbyne) Instagram Followers: 554 (@robbynemanning) Robin Manning on IMDB
  ANTM CYCLE 1 Being a Devout Christian like her fellow finalist Shannon Stewart, Robin often criticized the other girls when she felt that they were doing something immoral. She was extremely affected when openly gay model Ebony brought her partner to the house. On the seventh week, the challenge was to pose nude for a jewelry advertisement. She, along with Shannon, refused to participate, saying that it was against her morals. Consequently, she was eliminated from the show, becoming the seventh contestant to be cut. Source
  POST-TOP MODEL Robin, who now goes by the name Robbyne, has kept a relatively low profile since the show. She was the only contestant whose photos were not included in the Stuff Magazine shoot featured during the third episode (even though Tessa, the first contestant eliminated, was included in the issue). After her appearance on the show, Robin went on to do a Baby Phat fashion show with Elyse and Kesse. She was featured in the July 2003 issue of the TV Guide, on the cover of the 2003 Holiday Issue of Grace, as well as appear next to Janice Dickinson in an issue of O. She has also appeared in the popular soap, The Young and the Restless, and the films, Without You and Holla. Robin is pursuing an acting career and has been in two movies. She did some church-related print work and some test shots, as well as a pictorial for Especially Yours, but is not currently with an agency. Robin’s name was once again brought to the attention in the media in 2014 when Dominic Jeffries (together with his 6 year old sister) went missing from Manning’s home. Robin is the child’s legal guardian, but it is not certain why (Dominic’s mother and Robin know each other from pre-school).
  Name: Elyse Sewell Placed: 3rd Age: 35 First Call Outs: 2 Bottom 2: 2 Twitter Followers: N/A Instagram Followers: 1,031 (@_elysesewell) Elyse Sewell on IMDB
  ANTM CYCLE 1 Sewell's was a contestant on the first cycle of America's Next Top Model. She was known on the show as the "edgy pre-med student". She placed third, after Adrianne Curry and Shannon Stewart. She was eliminated due to the fact that her intelligence came across as “derogatory”, despite her high fashion look. Her infamous confessional clip from the show, in which she expressed a profanity-laden rant against the people on the show, earned her 16th place on E!'s Most Outrageous TV Moments in 2005. She attributes this outburst to the unusual requirement on the show to voice one's private thoughts and to soliloquize in a "confessional booth".
  POST-TOP MODEL Elyse is probably the most successful girl out of all the contestants on Cycle 1. As a model, Elyse has been incredibly successful, especially in Asia where she has had print advertisements for Giordano, Chanel and Chow Sang Sang Jewelry and appeared on the cover of Harper’s Bazaar Hong Kong. Sewell’s first book, Beauty and The Biz: The International Adventures of America's Third-to-Next Top Model, based in part on her LiveJournal Weblog, was published in Hong Kong in 2006. She appeared in multiple book signings across Hong Kong. She has been featured in advertisements for brands such as Azona, Chow Sang Sang, Dao, Darquer, DTC Diamonds, Flair by Joc, Giordano, iMaroon, Mae Von, Motorola, Paule Ka, Sa Sa CyberColors, and Staccato.
  Overseas, Elyse has been signed with Zucca Tokyo, ZEM Osaka, Mannequin Singapore, Model Genesis Hong Kong, Chadwicks Sydney, Eye For I Milan, Dream Models Hong Kong and Elite Santiago. Locally, Elyse has also been signed with Wilhelmina West Models, M4 Models, Q6 Models Portland, Model One (Hong Kong), Studio KLRP Paris, Seattle’s Model Guild, M4 Hamburg, Good Fashion Shenzhen and Model 1.
  Elyse dated Martin Crandall of the Shins until January 2008, when he allegedly assaulted her in a Sacramento hotel. Both Crandall and Elyse were charged with felony domestic assault, though their cases were later dismissed. Previously, Elyse told the Singapore Straits Times in an interview that she had dumped her boyfriend because he cheated on her while she was working in Japan, though they reconciled shortly afterwards. She’s not active on social media, and only has an instagram (which was last updated in 2015). A facebook page pops up if you search her name on facebook, however, I’m not sure if she runs it or if it is a fan account. She also participated in a Reddit AMA where she spoke about her experiences on the show.
  Name: Shannon Ratcliff, née Stewart Placed: 2nd (Cycle 1)/6th (Cycle 17) Age: 33 First Call Outs: 3 (Cycle 1)/0 (Cycle 17) Bottom 2: 2 (Cycle 1)/2 (Cycle 17) Twitter Followers: 17.3k (@ShannonStewart1) Instagram Followers: 12.5k (@shannonstewartratcliff) Shannon Stewart on IMDB
  ANTM CYCLE 1 Stewart competed on the first season of America's Next Top Model. In the first week of competition, Shannon landed in the bottom two and if she hadn't won that week's challenge, she would have been eliminated. However, the following two weeks Shannon received two consecutive first call-outs, and performed consistently in the following weeks. But, in the semi-finals during a nude photoshoot in Paris, Shannon and fellow contestant Robin Manning caused controversy when they refused to take part in the photoshoot because of their Christian faith. However, this did not hinder Stewart's progression in the competition finishing second overall to Adrianne Curry. Source.
  Shannon later appeared during a fashion show during the show’s 7th season, in the 8th cycle of the show as a guest for one of the photo shoots, and was also the only contestant from Cycle 1 to be invited to participate in the All Star cycle.
  ANTM CYCLE 17 In 2011, Shannon was invited back to participate in the first All-Star edition of the show, together with several other returning models from the different seasons. Stewart placed 6th overall in the All-Star competition after confusing the judges for refusing to wear lingerie that looked like a bathing suit while allowing herself to be photographed in a skimpier bathing suit in a previous week. She was the only model in the top 6 to have not won best photo.
  POST-TOP MODEL Since America’s Next Top Model, Shannon has modeled for Harmony Bell Boutique, Nuj Novakhett, Macy’s, Dillard’s, Sephora, Bakers Shoes, Speedo, and Allyson Smith Jewelry.
  She has appeared in magazines such as Elle Girl Magazine, Teen Vogue, Sydney Magazine, Six Degrees Magazine, and Ford Fusion. Shannon has appeared on the cover of Nashville Lifestyles Weddings, Arizona Foothills Magazine, and Sound & Vision Magazine.
  Her runway shows include Richard Tyler, Alvin Valley (2004), Alice and Olivia (2006), Sprite Street Couture (2006), and Elle Girl presents Dare To Be You: Wal-Mart Meets America’s Next Top Models (2005), Fashion Institute of Technology (2006), Gustavo Arango (2006), Alice Dobson (2006) and Olympus Fashion Week (2006).
  During Cycle 8, Shannon told the contestants that she had switched over to Elite Model Management in Chicago. She was also signed to Bleu Model Management. Fashion Model Directory states that she is currently signed to Major Model Management in New York and Factor Women in Chicago. Nowadays, Shannon actively interacts with her fans through her different social media handles, and runs her own personal blog. She has been married to Matthew Ratcliff, a fellow Christian model, since 2007.
  Name: Adrianne Curry Placed: 1st Age: 35 First Call Outs: 1 Bottom 2: 2 Twitter Followers: 416k (@AdrianneCurry) Instagram Followers: 132k (@AdrianneCurry) Adrianne Curry on IMDB
  ANTM CYCLE 1 Adrianne Curry competed on the first season of America's Next Top Model. She beat out fellow contestant Shannon Stewart. After her stint on ANTM, Curry has been very outspoken about her time on the show . Curry told various interviewers, including Steppin Out Magazine, that she wasn’t given the Revlon modeling contract that she was supposed to get as winner, and that “Tyra really didn't help us out and the show didn't put any money into us.” She even went as far as saying that “Basically, it was our show that saved the network and it was the biggest show ever…We trusted Tyra, but we've all been screwed over.”
  POST-TOP MODEL Nowadays, Curry continues to act, model, and do cosplay. She was signed to Wilhelmina Models in New York City. She has modeled for several magazines, including Life & Style Weekly, In Touch, Sync Magazine, Us Weekly, Star, OK!, Stuff, People, Maxim (and made the Maxim Hot 100 list in 2005), both the North American and Spanish editions of Marie Claire, Lucky Magazine, Supermodels Unlimited, Agenda Magazine, Von Dutch, Von Dutch Watches, Salon City, Macy's, Famous Stars and Straps, Lucky, Ed Hardy, Kinis Bikinis, NailPro, Beverly Hills Choppers, and Merit Diamonds. In 2016, she was briefly signed on to LA Models, however, she was quickly dropped from their roster. According to her personal website, where she constantly updates her blog, she is also works as an avon lady.
  Curry's runway shows include Anne Bowen Spring 2005, Jaime Pressly, Pamela Anderson's line, Ed Hardy, Von Dutch, and Christopher Deane. She has appeared in a commercial for the Merit Diamonds Sirena Collection that ran from November 2004 to January 2006.
  She appeared on the cover and in a nude pictorial for the American edition Playboy in February 2006. She returned for a second cover and nude pictorial in the January 2008 issue. Curry made Playboy´s 2008 top 25 sexiest women, along with the top 100 Playboy spreads 2008 edition. In late 2006, Curry modeled for a technological demo created by Nvidia to showcase their video cards. She is a spokesmodel for The Flex Belt with Denise Richards.
  Curry was a co-host on the television game show Ballbreakers. In 2006, she appeared on Gameshow Marathon as a celebrity panelist on the Match Game episode. She starred in Rock Me Baby (2004) and Half & Half (2003) on UPN. Curry also appeared on Dirt starring Courteney Cox, with whom she shared scenes. She appeared in rock band's The Click Five's music video "Just the Girl", along with her then husband Christopher Knight. She has also starred in the films Fallen Angels, Light Years Away and Jack Rio. In early 2005, Curry appeared on VH1's fourth season of The Surreal Life. On September 11, 2005, VH1 began airing My Fair Brady, a show that documented their life together and paid her an estimated US$450,000. The show led her to being featured in Maxim's Hot 100, a list of the "hottest" women on earth. and ranked #100 on the Maxim Hot 100 Women of 2005.
  Adrianne loves cosplay and video games. Between November and December 2010, Curry worked as the Resident Celebrity Gamer panelist judge on the second series of The Tester, a reality program on the PlayStation Network. She has returned to the panel in the third series which began on the 7th February 2012. Curry hosted live coverage of Blizzcon for Direct TV in 2011, as well as hosting live from E3 for Namco Bandai in both 2011 and 2012.
  Christopher Knight proposed to Curry on the season finale of My Fair Brady, on VH1, which aired on November 6, 2005. The show was renewed for a second season that began in June 2006, and focused on the couple's wedding preparations. In 2007, Curry and Knight appeared on the Dr. Phil Show to discuss their marital issues on an episode dealing with large age gaps in relationships. Dr. Phil predicted that their style of arguing, particularly Knight's hurtful comments, was a strong predictor of impending divorce in couples.The couple announced their separation on May 29, 2011. The couple filed for divorce on August 19, 2011 and it became final in 2013. As of 2017, she is currently engaged to Matthew Rhode.
submitted by FeelMyOats to ANTM [link] [comments]


2016.01.29 15:52 PachecoYYa =rand(1)

Perfect pangrams in English Without abbreviations, acronyms, contractions, initialisms, isolated letters, proper nouns, Roman numerals Cwm fjord veg balks nth pyx quiz. (Relaxing in basins at the end of inlets terminates the endless tests from the box.) Cwm fjord bank glyphs vext quiz. (Carved symbols in a mountain hollow on the bank of an inlet irritated an eccentric person.) Jink cwm, zag veldt, fob qursh pyx. (Cross valley and plain to steal coins from Saudi mint. – created by Stephen Wagner) Junky qoph-flags vext crwd zimb. (An Abyssinian fly playing a Celtic violin was annoyed by trashy flags on which were the Hebrew letter qoph.) Squdgy fez, blank jimp crwth vox! (A short brimless felt hat barely blocks out the sound of a Celtic violin. – created by Claude Shannon) Veldt jynx grimps waqf zho buck (A grass-plains wryneck climbs upon a male yak-cattle hybrid that was donated under Islamic law.) Bortz waqf glyphs vex muck djin. (Signage indicating endowments for industrial diamonds annoy filth-spreading genies. – created by Ed Spargo) With abbreviations, acronyms, initialisms or proper nouns, all restricted to dictionary words Jumbling vext frowzy hacks PDQ. (Being bounced around quickly annoyed the disheveled taxi drivers. – all words in high school dictionary) PR flacks quiz gym: TV DJ box when? (Public relations agent asks sports room, when do television disc jockeys fight?) Zing, dwarf jocks vex lymph, Qutb. (Making a high-pitched sound, short athletes annoy their white blood plasma and an Islamic saint. – created by Peter M. Lella) Zing, vext cwm fly jabs Kurd qoph. (Making a high-pitched sound, annoyed mountain basin insect sticks Hebrew letter.) Kat veld zubr gif cwm jynx qophs. (European bison of a shrubby African plain make digital image files of Semitic letters from valley wrynecks. – discovered by Da-Shih Hu) With abbreviations, acronyms, contractions, initialisms, isolated letters, proper nouns, Roman Numerals and not restricted to Dictionary Words A zenith of Xvurj’s cwm KL Gybdq Zombies play crwth, quj FDG xvnk Blowzy night-frumps vex’d Jack Q. Dwarf mobs quiz lynx.jpg, kvetch! (Crowd of midgets question picture of wildcat, then complain.) Frowzy things plumb vex’d Jack Q. G.B. fjords vex quick waltz nymph. Glum Schwartzkopf vex’d by NJ IQ. Gym DJ Beck vows phiz tranq flux. (Beck, the gymnasium DJ, promises a change in facial tranquilizers.) Jerk gawps foxy Qum Blvd. chintz. JFK got my VHS, PC and XLR web quiz. Jocks find quartz glyph, vex BMW. J.Q. Vandz struck my big fox whelp. J.Q. Schwartz flung D.V. Pike my box. Jump dogs, why vex Fritz Blank QC? Mr. Jock, TV quiz PhD, bags few lynx. New job: fix Mr. Gluck’s hazy TV, PDQ! (includes 5 punctuation symbols) Quartz glyph job vex’d cwm finks. (The act of carving symbols into quartz irritated ruffians from a Welsh river valley.) Quartz jock vends BMW glyph fix. The glib czar junks my VW Fox PDQ. Longer pangrams in English (in order of fewest letters used) Nymphs blitz quick vex dwarf jog. (27 letters) DJs flock by when MTV ax quiz prog. (27 letters) (2 acronyms, 1 abbreviation and a US spelling) Big fjords vex quick waltz nymph. (27 letters) Bawds jog, flick quartz, vex nymph. (27 letters) Waltz job vexed quick frog nymphs. (28 letters) (new variation on 29 letter version) Junk MTV quiz graced by fox whelps. (28 letters) (Includes abbreviation) Bawds jog, flick quartz, vex nymphs. (28 letters) Waltz, bad nymph, for quick jigs vex! (28 letters) Waltz, nymph, for quick jigs vex Bud! (28 letters) (Includes proper noun) Fox nymphs grab quick-jived waltz. (28 letters) Brick quiz whangs jumpy veldt fox. (28 letters) Glib jocks quiz nymph to vex dwarf. (28 letters) Bright vixens jump; dozy fowl quack. (29 letters) Vexed nymphs go for quick waltz job. (29 letters) Quick wafting zephyrs vex bold Jim. (29 letters) (Includes proper noun) Quick zephyrs blow, vexing daft Jim. (29 letters) (Includes proper noun) Quick blowing zephyrs vex daft Jim. (29 letters) (Includes proper noun) Sphinx of black quartz, judge my vow! (29 letters) (Used by Adobe InDesign when providing samples of all fonts.) Sex-charged fop blew my junk TV quiz. (29 letters) (Includes abbreviation) Both fickle dwarves jinx my pig quiz. (30 letters) Fat hag dwarves quickly zap jinx mob. (30 letters) Hick dwarves jam blitzing foxy quip. (30 letters) Fox dwarves chop my talking quiz job. (30 letters) Public junk dwarves quiz mighty fox. (30 letters) Jack fox bids ivy-strewn phlegm quiz. (30 letters) (Includes proper noun) How quickly daft jumping zebras vex. (30 letters) Two driven jocks help fax my big quiz. (30 letters) “Now fax quiz Jack!” my brave ghost pled. (30 letters) (Includes proper noun) Jack, love my big wad of sphinx quartz! (30 letters) (Includes proper noun) Do wafting zephyrs quickly vex Jumbo? (31 letters) (Includes proper noun) Go, lazy fat vixen; be shrewd, jump quick. (31 letters) Fickle jinx bog dwarves spy math quiz. (31 letters) Big dwarves heckle my top quiz of jinx. (31 letters) Fickle bog dwarves jinx empathy quiz. (31 letters) Public junk dwarves hug my quartz fox. (31 letters) Jumping hay dwarves flock quartz box. (31 letters) Five jumping wizards hex bolty quick. (31 letters) Five hexing wizard bots jump quickly. (31 letters) Quick fox jumps nightly above wizard. (31 letters) Vamp fox held quartz duck just by wing. (31 letters) Five quacking zephyrs jolt my wax bed. (31 letters) (Used by Mac OS X when previewing TrueType fonts.) The five boxing wizards jump quickly. (31 letters) (Used by XXDiff as sample text) Jackdaws love my big sphinx of quartz. (31 letters) (Used by Microsoft Windows XP when previewing some non-TrueType/OpenType fonts. It is interesting that the set of digits afterwards omits the numeral 7.) Show mangled quartz flip vibe exactly. (32 letters) My jocks box, get hard, unzip, quiver, flow. (32 letters) Kvetching, flummoxed by job, W. zaps Iraq. (32 letters) (Includes proper nouns) My ex pub quiz crowd gave joyful thanks. (32 letters) Cozy sphinx waves quart jug of bad milk. (32 letters) A very bad quack might jinx zippy fowls. (32 letters) (Contains all 26 letters in lower case) Pack my box with five dozen liquor jugs. (32 letters) (Used for font samples in the catalog of the Kelsey Press Company, by Beagle Bros and in Space Shuttle; featured in Ella Minnow Pea) Few quips galvanized the mock jury box. (32 letters) Quick brown fox jumps over the lazy dog. (32 letters) (Not attested as frequently as the traditional, and better-formed, The quick brown fox…, below) Quilt frenzy jackdaw gave them best pox. (33 letters) Jumpy halfling dwarves pick quartz box. (33 letters) Schwarzkopf vexed Iraq big-time in July. (33 letters) (Includes proper nouns) Vex quest wizard, judge my backflop hand. (33 letters) The jay, pig, fox, zebra and my wolves quack! (33 letters) Blowzy red vixens fight for a quick jump. (33 letters) Sex prof gives back no quiz with mild joy. (33 letters) (Includes abbreviation) The quick brown fox jumps over a lazy dog. (33 letters) (A variant of the better-known, but longer, version with the in place of a, below.) A quick brown fox jumps over the lazy dog. (33 letters) (This variation contains all 26 letters in lower case) Quest judge wizard bonks foxy chimp love. (34 letters) Boxers had zap of gay jock love, quit women. (34 letters, each consonant used only once) Joaquin Phoenix was gazed by MTV for luck. (34 letters) (Includes proper nouns and abbreviation) JCVD might pique a sleazy boxer with funk.[2] (34 letters) (Includes abbreviation of proper noun) Quizzical twins proved my hijack-bug fix. (34 letters) Fix problem quickly with galvanized jets. (35 letters) The quick brown fox jumps over the lazy dog. (35 letters) (Used to test typewriters and computer keyboards, and as sample text; famous for its coherency, dating back to 1888. Sometimes erroneously quoted with “jumped”, omitting the letter s.) Waxy and quivering, jocks fumble the pizza. (35 letters) When zombies arrive, quickly fax judge Pat. (35 letters) (Includes proper noun) Heavy boxes perform quick waltzes and jigs. (36 letters) A wizard’s job is to vex chumps quickly in fog. (36 letters) Sympathizing would fix Quaker objectives. (36 letters) (Includes proper noun) Pack my red box with five dozen quality jugs. (36 letters) BlewJ’s computer quiz favored proxy hacking. (37 letters) (Includes proper noun) Quads of blowzy fjord ignite map vex’d chicks. (37 letters) Fake bugs put in wax jonquils drive him crazy. (37 letters) Watch “Jeopardy!”, Alex Trebek’s fun TV quiz game. (37 letters) (Includes proper nouns and abbreviation) GQ jock wears vinyl tuxedo for showbiz promo. (37 letters) (Includes abbreviation) The quick brown fox jumped over the lazy dogs. (37 letters) Who packed five dozen old quart jugs in my box? (37 letters) Woven silk pyjamas exchanged for blue quartz. (38 letters) (Used for font samples by Scribus) Brawny gods just flocked up to quiz and vex him. (38 letters) Twelve ziggurats quickly jumped a finch box. (38 letters) Prating jokers quizzically vexed me with fibs. (39 letters) My faxed joke won a pager in the cable TV quiz show. (39 letters) (Includes abbreviation) The quick onyx goblin jumps over the lazy dwarf. (39 letters) (From flavor text in a card in the Magic: the Gathering card game[3]) The lazy major was fixing Cupid’s broken quiver. (39 letters) (Includes proper noun) Amazingly few discotheques provide jukeboxes. (40 letters) (only 5 words – fewer than all others in this list) Jacky can now give six big tips from the old quiz. (40 letters) Lovak won the squad prize cup for sixty big jumps. (40 letters) J. Fox made five quick plays to win the big prize. (40 letters) Foxy diva Jennifer Lopez wasn’t baking my quiche. (41 letters) (Includes proper noun) Cozy lummox gives smart squid who asks for job pen. (41 letters) (Used for font samples by the Macintosh, post-System 7, as well as on certain Palm products) By Jove, my quick study of lexicography won a prize. (41 letters) (Includes proper noun) Levi Lentz packed my bag with six quarts of juice. (41 letters) Painful zombies quickly watch a jinxed graveyard. (42 letters) Fax back Jim’s Gwyneth Paltrow video quiz. (42 letters) (Includes proper nouns) As quirky joke, chefs won’t pay devil magic zebra tax. (42 letters) My girl wove six dozen plaid jackets before she quit. (43 letters) Then a cop quizzed Mick Jagger’s ex-wives briefly. (43 letters) (Includes proper noun) Six big devils from Japan quickly forgot how to waltz. (44 letters) (Includes proper noun) “Who am taking the ebonics quiz?”, the prof jovially axed. (44 letters) Why shouldn’t a quixotic Kazakh vampire jog barefoot? (44 letters) (Includes proper noun) Grumpy wizards make a toxic brew for the jovial queen. (44 letters) Sixty zips were quickly picked from the woven jute bag. (45 letters) Big July earthquakes confound zany experimental vow. (45 letters) (Includes proper noun) Foxy parsons quiz and cajole the lovably dim wiki-girl. (45 letters) Cute, kind, jovial, foxy physique, amazing beauty? Wowser! (45 letters) Have a pick: twenty-six letters — no forcing a jumbled quiz! (46 letters) A very big box sailed up then whizzed quickly from Japan. (46 letters) Battle of Thermopylae: Quick javelin grazed wry Xerxes. (46 letters) (Includes proper nouns) Jack quietly moved up front and seized the big ball of wax. (47 letters) (Includes proper noun) Few black taxis drive up major roads on quiet hazy nights. (47 letters) Just poets wax boldly as kings and queens march over fuzz. (47 letters) Bored? Craving a pub quiz fix? Why, just come to the Royal Oak! (47 letters) (Used to advertise a pub quiz in Bowness-on-Windermere) Quincy Pondexter blocked five jams against the Wizards! (47 letters) (Includes proper nouns) Crazy Frederick bought many very exquisite opal jewels. (48 letters) (Includes proper noun) A quivering Texas zombie fought republic linked jewelry. (48 letters) (Includes proper noun) Grumpy wizards make toxic brew for the evil queen and jack. (48 letters) (Used by Google Fonts) The job of waxing linoleum frequently peeves chintzy kids. (49 letters) Back in June we delivered oxygen equipment of the same size. (49 letters) (Includes proper noun) Just keep examining every low bid quoted for zinc etchings. (49 letters) (Used in many type specimen books for letterpress printers) How razorback-jumping frogs can level six piqued gymnasts! (49 letters) (Used for font samples by the Macintosh, System 7 era) A quick movement of the enemy will jeopardize six gunboats. (49 letters) All questions asked by five watched experts amaze the judge. (49 letters) Bobby Klun awarded Jayme sixth place for her very high quiz. (50 letters) The wizard quickly jinxed the gnomes before they vaporized. (50 letters) Zelda might fix the job growth plans very quickly on Monday. (50 letters) Zack Gappow saved the job requirement list for the six boys. (50 letters) Jackie will budget for the most expensive zoology equipment. (51 letters) Quirky spud boys can jam after zapping five worthy Polysixes. (51 letters) (Includes proper noun) Jim quickly realized that the beautiful gowns are expensive. (51 letters) English phonetic pangrams Pangrams which use all the phonemes, or phones, of English (rather than alphabetic characters): “With tenure, Suzie’d have all the more leisure for yachting, but her publications are no good.” (for certain US accents and phonological analyses) “Shaw, those twelve beige hooks are joined if I patch a young, gooey mouth.” (perfect for certain accents with the cot-caught merger) “Are those shy Eurasian footwear, cowboy chaps, or jolly earthmoving headgear?” (perfect for certain Received Pronunciation accents) “The beige hue on the waters of the loch impressed all, including the French queen, before she heard that symphony again, just as young Arthur wanted.” (a phonetic, not merely phonemic, pangram. It contains both nasals [m] and [ɱ] (as in ‘symphony’), the fricatives [x] (as in ‘loch’) and [ç] (as in ‘hue’), and the ‘dark L’ [ɫ] (as in ‘all’) - in other words, it contains different allophones.) Other languages Arabic صِف خَلقَ خَودِ كَمِثلِ الشَمسِ إِذ بَزَغَت — يَحظى الضَجيعُ بِها نَجلاءَ مِعطارِ (A poem by Al Farāhīdi) هلا سكنت بذي ضغثٍ فقد زعموا — شخصت تطلب ظبياً راح مجتازا اصبر على حفظ خضر واستشر فطنا، وزج همك في بغداذ منثملا نصٌّ حكيمٌ لهُ سِرٌّ قاطِعٌ وَذُو شَأنٍ عَظيمٍ مكتوبٌ على ثوبٍ أخضرَ ومُغلفٌ بجلدٍ أزرق naṣun ḥakymun lahu syrun qāṭiʿun wa ḏu šānin ʿẓymin maktubun ʿala ṯubin aẖḍra wa muġalafun biǧildin azraq A wise text which has an absolute secret and great importance, written on a green cloth and covered with blue leather (it has a riddle built into it) ابجد هوز حطي كلمن سعفص قرشت ثخذ ضظغ أبجد هوز ترتيب الحروف العبرية والعربية من اللغات الساميَّة Azeri Zəfər, jaketini də papağını da götür, bu axşam hava çox soyuq olacaq. Zafer (male name), take your jacket and cap, it will be very cold tonight. Breton Yec’hed mat Jakez ! Skarzhit ar gwerennoù-mañ, kavet e vo gwin betek fin ho puhez. Bulgarian Ах чудна българска земьо, полюшвай цъфтящи жита. Ah, wonderful Bulgarian land, shake the blooming wheat fields. Жълтата дюля беше щастлива, че пухът, който цъфна, замръзна като гьон. The yellow quince was happy that the fluff which bloomed froze like sole-leather. За миг бях в чужд плюшен скърцащ фотьойл. (Used for font samples by the Macintosh, in the localized System 7) For a moment I was in someone else’s plush squeaking armchair. Вкъщи не яж сьомга с фиде без ракийка и хапка люта чушчица! At home, do not eat salmon with soup noodles without rakia and a bit of hot paprika! Под южно дърво, цъфтящо в синьо, бягаше малко пухкаво зайче. Under a southern tree, blooming in blue, ran a little fluffy bunny. Шугав льохман, държащ птицечовка без сейф и ютия. A mangy lummox, holding a platypus without a safe and flat iron. Я, пазачът Вальо уж бди, а скришом хапва кюфтенца зад щайгите. Why, Valyo the guard is supposed to be watching, and yet he’s secretly eating meatballs behind the crates. Хълцайки много, въздесъщият позьор, Юрий жабока, фучеше. Hiccuping intensely, the famous poseur, Yuri the frog, was sputtering. Гномът Доцьо приключи спящ в шейна за жаби. Dotsyo the Gnome ended up sleeping in a carriage for frogs. Щиглецът се яде само пържен в юфка без чушки и хвойна. Goldfinch is only eaten fried with noodles, without peppers and juniper. Фучейки и хълцайки, кьоравият грухтящ шопар жадно стъпка зюмбюлите Snorting and whimpering, the grunting blind boar hungrily trampled the hyacinths. Хълцащ змей плюе шофьор стигнал чуждия бивак. A hiccuping dragon spits at a driver who has reached someone else’s campsite. Щурчо Цоньо хапваше ловджийско кюфте с бяла гъмза. Tsonyo the cricket was eating a hunter-style meatball with white Gamza wine. Catalan (with all letters and diacritics) «Dóna amor que seràs feliç!». Això, il•lús company geniüt, ja és un lluït rètol blavís d’onze kWh. “Give love and you’ll be happy!”. This, ingenuous fellow with bad temper, is already in a blue sign of 11kWh. (with ç) Jove xef, porti whisky amb quinze glaçons d’hidrogen, coi! Young chef, bring whisky with fifteen hydrogen ice cubes, darn! Aqueix betzol, Jan, comprava whisky de figa That idiot, Jan, was buying fig whisky Zel de grum: quetxup, whisky, cafè, bon vi; ja! Coi! quinze jans golafres de Xàtiva, beuen whisky a pams Cherokee ᎠᏍᎦᏯᎡᎦᎢᎾᎨᎢᎣᏍᏓᎤᎩᏍᏗᎥᎴᏓᎯᎲᎢᏔᎵᏕᎦᏟᏗᏖᎸᎳᏗᏗᎧᎵᎢᏘᎴᎩ ᏙᏱᏗᏜᏫᏗᏣᏚᎦᏫᏛᏄᏓᎦᏝᏃᎠᎾᏗᎭᏞᎦᎯᎦᏘᏓᏠᎨᏏᏕᏡᎬᏢᏓᏥᏩᏝᎡᎢᎪᎢ ᎠᎦᏂᏗᎮᎢᎫᎩᎬᏩᎴᎢᎠᏆᏅᏛᎫᏊᎾᎥᎠᏁᏙᎲᏐᏈᎵᎤᎩᎸᏓᏭᎷᏤᎢᏏᏉᏯᏌᏊ ᎤᏂᏋᎢᏡᎬᎢᎰᏩᎬᏤᎵᏍᏗᏱᎩᎱᎱᎤᎩᎴᎢᏦᎢᎠᏂᏧᏣᏨᎦᏥᎪᎥᏌᏊᎤᎶᏒᎢᎢᏡᎬᎢ ᎹᎦᎺᎵᏥᎻᎼᏏᎽᏗᏩᏂᎦᏘᎾᎿᎠᏁᎬᎢᏅᎩᎾᏂᎡᎢᏌᎶᎵᏎᎷᎠᏑᏍᏗᏪᎩ ᎠᎴ ᏬᏗᏲᏭᎾᏓᏍᏓᏴᏁᎢᎤᎦᏅᏮᏰᎵᏳᏂᎨᎢ. Croatian Gojazni đačić s biciklom drži hmelj i finu vatu u džepu nošnje. (Used by Microsoft Office as sample text for Croatian language.) The overweight little schoolboy with a bike is holding hops and fine cotton in the pocket of his attire. Czech Nechť již hříšné saxofony ďáblů rozezvučí síň úděsnými tóny waltzu, tanga a quickstepu. (All 42 letters of the Czech alphabet, 72 letters in total) Let the sinful saxophones of devils finally make the hall resonate with the frightful tones of waltz, tango and quickstep. Příliš žluťoučký kůň úpěl ďábelské ódy. (All the non-ASCII letters of the Czech alphabet – popular sentence for character sets testing) Unduly yellowish horse was groaning devilish odes. Hleď, toť přízračný kůň v mátožné póze šíleně úpí. Behold, tis the eerie horse in tottering affectation groaning like crazy. Zvlášť zákeřný učeň s ďolíčky běží podél zóny úlů. Particularly insidious apprentice with dimples is running along the zone of hives. Loď čeří kýlem tůň obzvlášť v Grónské úžině. A vessel ripples a pool by its keel, especially in the strait of Greenland. Ó, náhlý déšť již zvířil prach a čilá laň teď běží s houfcem gazel k úkrytům. Oh, sudden rain has already whirled the dust and a spry doe now gallops with a flock of gazelles for the shelter. Danish (Each letter exactly once) Høj bly gom vandt fræk sexquiz på wc Tall shy groom won dirty sex quiz on W.C. Quizdeltagerne spiste jordbær med fløde, mens cirkusklovnen Walther spillede på xylofon. The quiz contestants ate strawberry with cream while Walter the circus clown played the xylophone. Dzongkha ཨ་ཡིག་དཀར་མཛེས་ལས་འཁྲུངས་ཤེས་བློའི་གཏེར༎ ཕས་རྒོལ་ཝ་སྐྱེས་ཟིལ་གནོན་གདོང་ལྔ་བཞིན༎ ཆགས་ཐོགས་ཀུན་བྲལ་མཚུངས་མེད་འཇམ་དབྱངསམཐུས༎ མཧཱ་མཁས་པའི་གཙོ་བོ་ཉིད་འགྱུར་ཅིག། Esperanto Eble ĉiu kvazaŭ-deca fuŝĥoraĵo ĝojigos homtipon. Maybe every quasi-fitting bungle-choir makes a human type happy. Laŭ Ludoviko Zamenhof bongustas freŝa ĉeĥa manĝaĵo kun spicoj. According to Ludwig Zamenhof, fresh Czech food with spices tastes good. Estonian Põdur Zagrebi tšellomängija-följetonist Ciqo külmetas kehvas garaažis Ill-healthy cellist-feuilletonist Ciqo from Zagreb was being cold in a poor garage. (used in KDE font selection). See väike mölder jõuab rongile hüpata This small miller is able to jump to train (used in localized version of Microsoft Word in Office XP, contains all non-foreign letters) Jubedalt möirgav lõukoer hüppas tänaval Terribly roaring lion jumped on street Finnish (A perfect pangram which does not include characters only found in foreign or loanwords (b, c, f, q, w, x, z, å)): Törkylempijävongahdus Muckysnogger booty-call. (Without the foreign characters c, q, x, z, w, å) Albert osti fagotin ja töräytti puhkuvan melodian. Albert bought a bassoon and blasted a puffing melody. (used in older versions of Word Perfect). (Without the foreign characters b, c, f, q, w, x, z, å) Lorun sangen pieneksi hyödyksi jäivät suomen kirjaimet. The quite small benefit of the rhyme was the letters of Finnish. Hyvän lorun sangen pieneksi hyödyksi jäi suomen kirjaimet. Modification of the previous one where the first letter is repeated (in the case the capital first letter is used but all the small letters are needed): The quite small benefit of the good rhyme was the letters of Finnish. (All characters, including foreign ones): Fahrenheit ja Celsius yrjösivät Åsan backgammon-peliin, Volkswagenissa, daiquirin ja ZX81:n yhteisvaikutuksesta. Fahrenheit and Celsius threw up on Åsa’s Backgammon board, in a Volkswagen, due to the coeffect of daiquiri and a ZX81. (All characters, including foreign ones): Charles Darwin jammaili Åken hevixylofonilla Qatarin yöpub Zeligissä. Charles Darwin was jamming on Åke’s heavy metal xylophone in the Qatar night pub Zelig. (All characters, including foreign ones): Wieniläinen sioux’ta puhuva ökyzombie diggaa Åsan roquefort-tacoja. The Sioux-speaking filthy rich zombie from Vienna digs Åsa’s Roquefort tacos. French Buvez de ce whisky que le patron juge fameux. (36) Drink some of this whisky which the boss finds excellent. Portez ce vieux whisky au juge blond qui fume Take this old whisky to the blond smoking judge Portez ce vieux whisky au juge blond qui a fumé. (variant with “é”) Take this old whisky to the blond judge who has smoked. Bâchez la queue du wagon-taxi avec les pyjamas du fakir Tarpaulin up the taxi-railcar tail with the fakir’s pajamas Voyez le brick géant que j’examine près du wharf See the giant brig which I examine near the wharf Voix ambiguë d’un cœur qui au zéphyr préfère les jattes de kiwi Ambiguous voice of a heart which prefers kiwi bowls to a zephyr Monsieur Jack, vous dactylographiez bien mieux que votre ami Wolf Mister Jack, you typed much better than your friend Wolf [was used in the Swiss army to check the keyboard of typewriters before teletransmission] West Frisian Alve bazige froulju wachtsje op dyn komst Eleven bossy women await your arrival German (no umlauts or ß): Sylvia wagt quick den Jux bei Pforzheim Sylvia dares quickly the joke near Pforzheim (no umlauts or ß): Franz jagt im komplett verwahrlosten Taxi quer durch Bayern Franz chases in the completely shabby cab straight through Bavaria (with umlauts and ß): Victor jagt zwölf Boxkämpfer quer über den großen Sylter Deich Victor chases twelve boxers across the great dam of Sylt (with umlauts and ß, each letter exactly once, according to the pre-1996 spelling rules): “Fix, Schwyz!” quäkt Jürgen blöd vom Paß “Quick, Schwyz!” Jürgen squawks zanily from the pass “Falsches Üben von Xylophonmusik quält jeden größeren Zwerg” (used by KDE) Wrong practising of xylophone music bothers every larger dwarf Greek Ταχίστη αλώπηξ βαφής ψημένη γη, δρασκελίζει υπέρ νωθρού κυνός Takhístè alôpèx vaphês psèménè gè, draskelízei ypér nòthroý kynós The quick brown fox jumps over the lazy dog (where brown is assigned by “colour of roasted earth”) Ξεσκεπάζω τὴν ψυχοφθόρα βδελυγμία. Xeskepazó tin psychofthóra vdelygmía. I uncover the soul-destroying abhorrence. Ζαφείρι δέξου πάγκαλο, βαθῶν ψυχῆς τὸ σῆμα. Receive an excellent sapphire, denoting profundity of soul. διαφυλάξτε γενικά τη ζωή σας από βαθειά ψυχικά τραύματα protect in general your life from deep psychological wounds Notable pangrams found occurring in ancient Greek literature include: Homeric Hymn to Hermes 22-24 Pindar, Olympian 6 21-24 Aeschylus, Agamemnon 439-444 Euripides, Alcestis 169-172, Hercules 927-930, Bacchae 719b-723a Isaeus, De Hagnia, section 31 (ἐλέλυθεν…λήψεσθαι) Lycurgus, Against Leocrates 100.3-6 Lysias 12.93.3-5 Thucydides, from the last four words of 4.115.2 through the first ten words of 4.115.3 Hebrew דג סקרן שט בים מאוכזב ולפתע מצא חברה dg sqrn šṭ bjM mʾwkzb wlptʿ mṣʾ ḥbrh (A curious fish sailed the sea disappointedly, and suddenly found company) כך התרסק נפץ על גוזל קטן, שדחף את צבי למים kk htrsq npṣ ʿl gwzl qṭn, šdḥp ʾt ṣbj lmjm An explosive crashed into a small chick, which pushed my deer into the water. (Includes all medial and final forms, here indicated by bold letters.) שפן אכל קצת גזר בטעם חסה, ודי. špn ʾkl qṣt gzr bṭʿm ḥsh, wdj (A hyrax ate some lettuce flavored carrot and that’s it) Each letter occurs exactly once. עטלף אבק נס דרך מזגן שהתפוצץ כי חם (A “dust bat” escaped through the air conditioner, which exploded due to the heat) All 22 in the Hebrew alphabet with all medial and final forms או הנסה אלהים, לבוא לקחת לו גוי מקרב גוי, במסת באתת ובמופתים ובמלחמה וביד חזקה ובזרוע נטויה, ובמוראים גדלים: ככל אשר-עשה לכם יהוה אלהיכם, במצרים—לעיניך (Deuteronomy 4:34) לכן חכו לי נאם יהוה ליום קומי לעד, כי משפטי לאסף גוים לקבצי ממלכות, לשפך עליהם זעמי כל חרון אפי, כי באש קנאתי תאכל כל הארץ (Zephaniah 3:8 – the only verse in the Hebrew Bible that contains all medial forms of the letters plus all final forms) Hindi ऋषियों को सताने वाले दुष्ट राक्षसों के राजा रावण का सर्वनाश करने वाले विष्णुवतार भगवान श्रीराम, अयोध्या के महाराज दशरथ के बड़े सपुत्र थे। Hungarian Jó foxim és don Quijote húszwattos lámpánál ülve egy pár bűvös cipőt készít. My good foxterrier and don Quixote are making a pair of magic shoes by a 20-watt lamp. Árvíztűrő tükörfúrógép A flood-resistant mirror drill Icelandic Kæmi ný öxi hér, ykist þjófum nú bæði víl og ádrepa. If a new axe were here, thieves would feel increasing deterrence and punishment. (each letter exactly once): Svo hölt, yxna kýr þegði jú um dóp í fé á bæ. A cow in heat with such a limp would admittedly keep silent about drugs in sheep on a farm. (each letter exactly once, with z (obsolete spelling)): Þú dazt á hnéð í vök og yfir blóm sexý pæju. You fell on the knee in a hole in the ice and over a sexy girl’s flower. Igbo Nne, nna, wepụ he’l’ụjọ dum n’ime ọzụzụ ụmụ, vufesi obi nye Chukwu, ṅụrịanụ, gbakọọnụ kpaa, kwee ya ka o guzoshie ike; ọ ghaghị ito, nwapụta ezi agwa. (all 36 letters and diacritics). Indonesian Muharjo seorang xenofobia universal yang takut pada warga jazirah, contohnya Qatar. Muharjo is a universal xenophobic who fears the peninsula residents, such as Qatar. Saya lihat foto Hamengkubuwono XV bersama enam zebra purba cantik yang jatuh dari Alquranmu. I saw a photo of Hamengkubuwono XV along with six beautiful ancient zebra which fell from your Koran. Hafiz mengendarai bajaj payah-payah ke warnet-x untuk mencetak lembar verifikasi dalam kertas quarto. Irish D’fhuascail Íosa Úrmhac na hÓighe Beannaithe pór Éava agus Ádhaimh D’ḟuascail Íosa Úrṁac na hÓiġe Beannaiṫe pór Éaḃa agus Áḋaiṁ Jesus, Son of the blessed Virgin, redeemed the seed of Eve and Adam. Ċuaiġ bé ṁórṡáċ le dlúṫspád fíorḟinn trí hata mo ḋea-ṗorcáin ḃig A greatly satisfied woman went with a truly white dense spade through the hat of my good little well-fattened pig (uses both regular and lenited (with dot above) letters) Italian Pangrams in Italian normally omit the foreign letters j, k, w, x, and y. Quel fez sghembo copre davanti That slanted fez covers the front. Ma la volpe, col suo balzo, ha raggiunto il quieto Fido. But the fox with her leap has reached the still Fido. [”Fido” is a name commonly given to dogs.] Quel vituperabile xenofobo zelante assaggia il whisky ed esclama: alleluja! That blameworthy, zealous xenophobe tastes his whisky and exclaims: Alleluja! Pranzo d’acqua fa volti sghembi. Lunch of water makes lopsided faces. O templi, quarzi, vigne, fidi boschi! O temples, quartzes, vines, faithful woods! Che tempi brevi, zio, quando solfeggi. Such short times, uncle, when you sol-fa. Qualche notizia pavese mi fa sbadigliare. Some news from Pavia makes me yawn. In quel campo si trovan funghi in abbondanza. In that field, mushrooms are to be found in abundance. Qualche vago ione tipo zolfo, bromo, sodio. Some vague ions, like sulfur, bromine, sodium. Berlusconi? Quiz, tv, paghe da fame. (Umberto Eco)[4] Tv? Quiz, Br, Flm, Dc… Oh, spenga! (Umberto Eco, 1979, without foreign letters) Japanese Since there are tens of thousands of kanji characters, Japanese pangrams are ones containing all kana. Iroha Uta いろはにほへと ちりぬるを わかよたれそ つねならむ うゐのおくやま けふこえて あさきゆめみし ゑひもせす(ん) irohanihoheto chirinuruwo wakayotareso tsunenaramu uwinookuyama kefukoete asakiyumemishi yehimosesu(n) 色は匂へど 散りぬるを 我が世誰ぞ 常ならむ 有為の奥山 今日越えて 浅き夢見じ 酔ひもせず(ん) * The poem Iroha uses all 47 classical kana characters exactly once, and it comes in the form of a poem. (The characters ゐ and ゑ are obsolete in modern Japanese.) Iroha is so classically entrenched that any modern construction of a Japanese pangram in classical form is called iroha-uta. Tori Naku Uta とりなくこゑす ゆめさませ みよあけわたる ひんかしを そらいろはえて おきつへに ほふねむれゐぬ もやのうち torinakukowesu yumesamase miyoakewataru hinkashiwo sorairohaete okitsuheni hofunemurewinu moyanōchi. 鳥啼く声す 夢覚ませ 見よ明け渡る 東を 空色栄えて 沖つ辺に 帆船群れゐぬ 靄の中 * Awaken from dreaming to the voice of the crying bird and see the coming daylight turning the east sky-blue; shrouded in mist is a flock of ships on the open sea Ametsuchi No Uta あめ つち ほし そら / やま かは みね たに / くも きり むろ こけ / ひと いぬ うへ すゑ / ゆわ さる おふ せよ / えのえを なれ ゐて 天 地 星 空 / 山 川 峰 谷 / 雲 霧 室 苔 / 人 犬 上 末 / 硫黄 猿 生ふ 為よ / 榎の 枝を 馴れ 居て Taini no Uta たゐにいて なつむわれをそ きみめすと あさりおひゆく やましろの うちゑへるこら もはほせよ えふねかけぬ 田居に出で 菜摘むわれをぞ 君召すと 求食り追ひゆく 山城の 打酔へる子ら 藻葉干せよ え舟繋けぬ There (were) two messengers; (they) had animosity (among each other); (they were) equally powerful (in fight); here are the corpses. This poem is used as the ordering of the Javanese script. This poem is a perfect pangram, which means there is only one instance of each letter. Klingon qajunpaQHeylIjmo’ batlh DuSuvqang charghwI’ ‘It. Because of your apparent audacity the depressed conqueror is willing to fight you. Korean 키스의 고유조건은 입술끼리 만나야 하고 특별한 기술은 필요치 않다. Kiseu-ui goyujogeoneun ipsulkkiri mannaya hago teukbyeolhan gisureun pilyochi antha. The essential condition for a kiss is that lips meet and there is no special technique required. In current usage, Hangul has 14 simple consonant letters, 6 simple vowel letters, and 4 iotized vowel letters; there are also 5 double consonant letters, 11 consonant clusters, and 11 diphthongs, made from combinations of the simple consonants or simple vowels. Of these, the above phrase contains all the simple consonant letters, simple vowel letters, and iotized vowel letters, along with 1 double consonant letter (ㄲ “gg”), 1 consonant cluster (ㄶ “nh”), and one diphthong (ㅢ “ui”). Latin Sic fugiens, dux, zelotypos, quam Karus haberis.[5] Thus fleeing, O leader, you are regarded with jealousy like Karus. Includes the letters k, y and z, used for words derived from Greek, but not the letters j, v or w, consonants that evolved from the vowels i and u. Latvian Muļķa hipiji mēģina brīvi nogaršot celofāna žņaudzējčūsku. Silly hippies try to freely taste the cellophane python. Glāžšķūņa rūķīši dzērumā čiepj Baha koncertflīģeļu vākus. Glass shack gnomes steal Bach piano covers while inebriated. Četri psihi faķīri vēlu vakarā zāģēja guļbūvei durvis, fonā šņācot mežam. Late at night, four psycho conjurors were sawing the doors of a log cabin as the wind hummed in the background. Lithuanian Įlinkdama fechtuotojo špaga sublykčiojusi pragręžė apvalų arbūzą Incurving fencer sword sparkled and perforated a round watermelon Lojban .o’i mu xagji sofybakni cu zvati le purdi Watch out, five hungry Soviet-cows are in the garden! Macedonian Ѕидарски пејзаж: шугав билмез со чудење џвака ќофте и кељ на туѓ цех. A mason’s landscape: a mangy fool wonderingly munches on meatball and kale at someone else’s expense. Бучниов жолт џин ѕида куќа со фурна меѓу полиња за цреши, хмељ и грозје. [This] noisy yellow giant is building a house with an oven in the midst of fields of cherries, hops and grapes. Долг Џош, сторив женење, црн ѕид! Фрчат хмељ, ќумбе, ѓупки, зајак. Long Josh, I’ve done a reaping, a black wall! Hops, Gypsy women, rabbit are whizzing. Мојот дружељубив коњ со тих галоп фаќа брз џиновски глушец по туѓо ѕитче. My friendly horse with a quiet gallop catches a quick giant mouse over someone else’s little wall. Malayalam അജവും ആനയും ഐരാവതവും ഗരുഡനും കഠോര സ്വരം പൊഴിക്കെ ഹാരവും ഒഢ്യാണവും ഫാലത്തില് മഞ്ഞളും ഈറന് കേശത്തില് ഔഷധ എണ്ണയുമായി ഋതുമതിയും അനഘയും ഭൂനാഥയുമായ ഉമ ദുഃഖഛവിയോടെ ഇടതു പാദം ഏന്തി ങ്യേയാദൃശം നിര്ഝരിയിലെ ചിറ്റലകളെ ഓമനിക്കുമ്പോള് ബാലയുടെ കണ്കളില് നീര് ഊര്ന്നു വിങ്ങി. Mapudungun The Ragileo alphabet doesn’t distinguish some sounds which are mostly used to convey affectionate speech variations, such as s/sh. (Ragileo alphabet) Gvxam mincetu apocikvyeh: ñizol ce mamvj ka raq kuse bafkeh mew (Unified alphabet) Ngütram minchetu apochiküyeṉ: ñidol che mamüll ka rag kushe ḻafkeṉ mew. (Azümchefe) Gütxam minchetu apochiküyenh: ñizol che mamüll ka raq kushe lhafkenh mew. Tale under the full moon: the chief chemamull and the clay old woman at the lake/sea. Mongolian Щётканы фермд пийшин цувъя. Бөгж зогсч хэльюү. Let’s echelon fireplaces in brush farm. Ring says standing. Myanmar The genius from Sri Lanka read the formula of elixir of life thoroughly in the almond tree next to Zalun market. Norwegian Since Norwegian orthography does not include c, q, w, x or z, except in foreign borrowings that haven’t been naturalised, the possible pangrams including all the 29 letters of the Norwegian alphabet will require using two or more words with a distinctly foreign spelling. Vår sære Zulu fra badeøya spilte jo whist og quickstep i min taxi. Our strange Zulu from the bathing island actually played whist and quickstep in my taxi. Høvdingens kjære squaw får litt pizza i Mexico by. The chief’s dear squaw gets a little pizza in Mexico City. IQ-løs WC-boms uten hørsel skjærer god pizza på xylofon. IQ-less WC-bum without hearing cuts good pizza on xylophone. Sær golfer med kølle vant sexquiz på wc i hjemby. Strange golfer with club won sex quiz on W.C. in hometown. Jeg begynte å fortære en sandwich mens jeg kjørte taxi på vei til quiz I started to devour a sandwich while I was riding a taxi on the way to the quiz Polish Perfect pangrams (each letter exactly once): Jeżu klątw, spłódź Finom część gry hańb! (by Stanisław Barańczak) O hedgehog of curses, generate for the Finns a part of the game of ignominies! Pójdźże, kiń tę chmurność w głąb flaszy! Go, cast this melancholy into the depth of a bottle! Mężny bądź, chroń pułk twój i sześć flag. Be brave, protect your regiment and six flags. Filmuj rzeź żądań, pość, gnęb chłystków! Film the slaughter of demands, abstain from food, oppress the greenhorns! Pchnąć w tę łódź jeża lub ośm skrzyń fig. To push a hedgehog or eight crates of figs into this boat. (ośm – the original form of the numeral osiem) Dość gróźb fuzją, klnę, pych i małżeństw! “Enough of these threats with the shotgun,” swear I, “haughtinesses and marriages!” Pójdź w loch zbić małżeńską gęś futryn! Go to the dungeon to batter the marital goose of doorframes! Chwyć małżonkę, strój bądź pleśń z fugi. Seize your wife, the garment, or the mold from the grout. Imperfect pangram: Koń i żółw grali w kości z piękną ćmą u źródła. A horse and a tortoise played dice with a beautiful moth near the spring. Portuguese without diacritics Um pequeno jabuti xereta viu dez cegonhas felizes. (BP) A curious little tortoise saw ten happy storks. Blitz prende ex-vesgo com cheque fajuto. (BP) Cop arrests ex-cross-eye with fake check in a checkpoint. Gazeta publica hoje no jornal uma breve nota de faxina na quermesse. (BP) The journalists publish today at the newspaper a short note about the cleaning at the kirmiss. Zebras caolhas de Java querem passar fax para moças gigantes de New York. (BP) One-eyed zebras from Java want to fax for giant ladies from New York. with diacritics Luís argüia à Júlia que «brações, fé, chá, óxido, pôr, zângão» eram palavras do português. Luís argued to Júlia that “big arms, faith, tea, oxide, to put, bee” were Portuguese words. À noite, vovô Kowalsky vê o ímã cair no pé do pingüim queixoso e vovó põe açúcar no chá de tâmaras do jabuti feliz. (BP) At night, grandpa Kowalsky sees the magnet falling on the complaining penguin’s foot and grandma puts sugar in the happy tortoise’s date tea. Romanian Muzicologă în bej vând whisky și tequila, preț fix. (Female) musicologist in beige, sells whisky and tequila, fixed price. Bând whisky, jazologul șprițuit vomă fix în tequila. Drinking whisky, the drunken jazzman threw up right in the tequila. Ex-sportivul își fumează jucăuș țigara bând whisky cu tequila. The ex-sportsman playfully smokes his cigarette, drinking whisky with tequila. Înjurând pițigăiat, zoofobul comandă vexat whisky și tequila. Swearing in high pitch, the zoophobic man vexedly ordered whisky and tequila. Russian (traditional telegraph test; lacks ъ and ё) В чащах юга жил бы цитрус? Да, но фальшивый экземпляр! Would a citrus live in the thickets of the south? Yes, but only a fake one! (using quasiobsolete spelling for last word to include ъ) В чащах юга жил бы цитрус? Да, но фальшивый экземпляръ! same (each letter exactly once) Эх, чужак, общий съём цен шляп (юфть) – вдрызг! Hey, stranger, the general takings from prices of hats (made from a thick leather) have completely crashed! (each letter exactly once) — Любя, съешь щипцы, — вздохнёт мэр, — Кайф жгуч! The mayor will sigh, “Eat the pliers with love; pleasure burns!” (Microsoft used it in fontview.exe for Cyrillic fonts without «же») Съешь же ещё этих мягких французских булок, да выпей чаю. S’eš’ že eŝë ètih mjagkih francuzskih bulok, da vypej čaju. So eat more of these soft French loaves, and have some tea! (used in KDE) Широкая электрификация южных губерний даст мощный толчок подъёму сельского хозяйства. Widespread electrification of southern guberniyas will give a powerful incentive to the rise of agriculture. Разъяренный чтец эгоистично бьёт пятью жердями шустрого фехтовальщика. An enraged narrator selfishly beats a nimble fencer with five poles. (lacks ъ and ё) Наш банк вчера же выплатил Ф.Я. Эйхгольду комиссию за ценные вещи. As of yesterday, our bank already remitted to F.J. Eichhold a commission payment for the valuables. Sanskrit कः खगौघाङचिच्छौजा झाञ्ज्ञोऽटौठीडडण्ढणः। तथोदधीन् पफर्बाभीर्मयोऽरिल्वाशिषां सहः।। [6] Scottish Gaelic Mus d’fhàg Cèit-Ùna ròp Ì le ob. Before Kate-Una left the Iona cattle auction with hops. Serbian (some also apply to Croatian and Bosnian) Gojazni đačić s biciklom drži hmelj i finu vatu u džepu nošnje. The overweight little schoolboy with a bike is holding hops and fine cotton in the pocket of his attire. Fin džip, gluh jež i čvrst konjić dođoše bez moljca. A nice jeep, a deaf hedgehog and a tough horse came without a moth. Љубазни фењерџија чађавог лица хоће да ми покаже штос. Ljubazni fenjerdžija čađavog lica hoće da mi pokaže štos. A kind lamplighter with grimy face wants to show me a stunt. Ајшо, лепото и чежњо, за љубав срца мога дођи у Хаџиће на кафу. Ajšo, lepoto i čežnjo, za ljubav srca moga dođi u Hadžiće na kafu. Aicha, (you that are my) beauty and longing, for the love of my heart, come to (the town of) Hadžići for a cup of coffee. Slovak Kŕdeľ ďatľov učí koňa žrať kôru. (contains only all accented letters except š) A flock of woodpeckers teach a horse to feed on bark. Kŕdeľ šťastných ďatľov učí pri ústí Váhu mĺkveho koňa obhrýzať kôru a žrať čerstvé mäso. A flock of happy woodpeckers by the mouth of the river Vah is teaching a silent horse to nibble on bark and feed on fresh meat (This is a modified sentence that not only contains modified letters with diacritics but also those without) Even in the expansion, c is missing, only occurring as part of the digraph ch, which is a s
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2015.10.24 23:36 Dazed-88 My [27M] boyfriend [32M] of 1 year, broke up with me because I wanted to give up my virginity to him

Hi guys! Some people pm'ed me and advised me to post here and perhaps get better insights. Cross posting from /relationships
I'm feeling really bad right now, but please allow me to explain. I'm a 27 year old guy and quite happy where I've come to in life. I worked hard, graduated med school and am currently working as a resident cardiology. I think of myself pretty mature. My sexuality is something I have struggled with. I'm not your stereotypically gay man. I don't flaunt my sexuality and I'm pretty masculine. I don't show off gay and if you'd met me, you wouldn't have known I liked dick, but I do. I don't go around and hide it, but my mannerisms don't show it. If someone comes up to me and ask me, I don't lie to that person either.
I also love going to the gym and working on my body. That's where I met my boyfriend 1 year ago. I felt an attraction rather quickly. He does have a nice body after all. He didn't strike me as gay at first either, but he does show it a little bit more. We started talking one day after working out in the sauna and we clicked. He is a civil engineer. We went out for drinks as friends (me still not knowing he was gay) and he asked me if I had ever experimented with a guy before. I told him yes I did and I am gay in fact. He lit up and asked me out on a proper and official date. We've been together since.
I'm not perse a virgin, but let me explain the situation. I am a total top as it is called. A top is the guy who puts his penis in the ass of the other guy. I have always 'topped' in all my past relationships and hook ups. A bottom is the guy on the receiving end of a penis. He is a total bottom, meaning he strongly prefers the bottom role. This was absolutely fine by me. I love making him moan and dominate him and make him mine and let him beg for more.
This has been our dynamic in the relationship. I had no interest in bottoming. But seeing him do it for me, it seemed really intimate, to give up ones self totally. To surrender yourself. He always enjoyed me fucking him. Since some time I've wondered what it would be like to be topped, specifically by him. I loved him and trusted him completely.
I brought it up to him and told him I love and trust him. That I'd like to try it out. He FREAKED OUT. Started cursing and telling me he could never be with a man who is not a 'total man'. He didn't like the feminine gay guys, therefore he was only with someone who was a total bottom like him. That I deceived him, because apparently 'You're not a total top, otherwise why would you want to get fucked?!'
I told him that it didn't make sense! He loved getting fucked by me and I just simply wanted to try it out with him, cause I trusted him and loved him. This is something I've never done and I was rather nervous asking him. He is the one getting fucked by me all the time. Does that make him less of a man? He said it wasn't the same. That he entered the relationship as a total bottom and I was now changing the roles.
He then told me he couldn't be with someone like me and broke up with me. He packed up his things and promptly left. I'm so heartbroken right now. I wanted to give myself to him and got dumped for it. I feel so lost.
I still love him and our relationship was otherwise really good. What do I do? Do I go after him? This was my first real relationship, other than hook ups and friends with benefits. Is this something to salvage? Just accept I'm a total top and will never bottom with him? Will he want me back? Do I even g back to him if he contacts me? This is all just so raw..
tl;dr: I've always been a pitcher and wanted to be a catcher, but my boyfriend didn't want to throw down
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2015.06.22 19:32 Xemnas81 I want to explain the effect of the Red Pill to my ex and apologise, to heal our friendship. I don't know how to go about it. (Lengthy post)

I keep posting this time and again, and I keep swinging between BP and PP (I can't align myself morally with RP, I can only intellectually submit to it, try as I might it makes sense).
My very basic understanding of the Red Pill and one I am struggling immensely to deal with is that men are expected, without being told, to fully understand both the merits of feminismand the expectations of patriarchy/gender dimorphism simultaneously, and silently. It is necessary that they are able to flip between the behaviours and outlooks associated with each system effortlessly if they are ever to maintain a woman's respect and certainly attraction. The reason for this being that while gender may be a cultural construct, sexuality is definitively biological and both genders have been socially conditioned to a great extent over centuries.
I realise this is becoming a very long post, so may need to continue my 'spitting it out' elsewhere or in another post, I've began with Punching Morpheus, although a lot of the advice did come down to a mixture of purple pill theory and 'up your game lower your standards' which I felt was a bit of a straw man.
My situation is quite long and complex, half an essay in length,for 2 reasons. Firstly, the red pill has been something I’ve been vulnerable to my whole life. Secondly, the dynamic I had with my frankly, first love, was complicated to begin with, and made ridiculously complicated by all the outside factors.
I’ll attempt to tl;dr for the sake of those of you with jobs and lives. Long story short I somewhat forced a relationship with a friend (slash crush) who was unavailable due to cultural differences, at a time when my anxiety/depression was controlling my life, and who helped me recover as a friend knowing how it feels. This woman means so much to me, and yet slowly having the pill pushed into my mouth ruined it all.
Please no-one say go to therapy I’ve been umpteen times, I’m currently on a break from it because just talking is getting me nowhere. I will be going back when I’ve moved to a healthier stage of basic independent coping skills.
Pt 1: Background/Context
• 1) There was this Indian girl (21 this week) a year younger than me (22) that I liked, she'd crushed on me for years, we saw each other at a reading group. She would practically pounce on me when I came and not stop talking to me, to the point it was, at the time, a little annoying she was so hyperactive but cute. I had impressed her by working out, fronting the school rock band as well as being a good drummer, being intelligent and knowledgeable about the books we'd read, my musical taste, and being (fairly) respectful of women for a teenage boy. I'm sure my being a year older than her helped me here (urge to blame hypergamy intensifies)
• 2) The attention of this girl was a really big deal, as it represented the fruits of my labours from an extensive self-improvement program and persona-‘The Regime’-that I spent my entire adolescence undertaking. The motivation for this was quite basic: rejection and humiliation by other girls (and guys, but I remember craving their validation less as I had more guy friends) at a young age. This was due to my weight, poor social skills (e.g. whipped my dick out in front of all the girls on the playground in 3rd grade), and Dyspraxia (curse of the butter fingers, turns out it has overlap with autism which explains my occasionally impulsive and inappropriate behavior, but I only found this out last year). Insults such as ‘fat spaz’ were regularly thrown at me and I never really felt respected. Obviously I had compulsive emotional eating problems, hence the weight gain-but note my family were mostly overweight and some obese, so no one thought much of this, as I always saw food as my friend to lean on when no one else would be one, and pretended to be in love with the stuff throughout secondary/high school. This pattern extended into my family; although I was of course never bullied in this way, it was clear that there were certain practical skills which my family never trusted me with doing, and the love I received often felt over-protective, like I was delicate, even weak and naive.
I vowed no-one would treat me the same again. I was not quite correct but certainly people respected me more in my superficially improved, that is fit and well-read self, than before, I was more outgoing (although still withdrawn at weekends) and I received a little more attention from girls-although struggled to risk making a connection and mostly avoided intimacy through communicating on chat forums like MSN. I also began to develop basic independence from my parents.
In short, fear of women has dominated my life since a young age; although more accurately it would be fear of people, just that I got over my fear of men and felt accepted by a portion of them quicker. My insecurities about not being a hot guy, or particularly masculine/laddish remained.
• 3) I started developing anxiety problems, panic attacks and sleep issues, in late high school. The reasons were complicated; social anxiety was a big one as the gap between my social skills and my peers widened. Not fitting in with my peers mostly wanting to drink and party all the time; alcohol and late nights had an awful effect on me. Fear of relationships another, especially given my parents’ divorce (which I discuss on Purple Pill Debate). Fear of the adult world, employment, the future, independence, driving, moving out etc. My friends making reckless life decisions, taking drugs, going through their own struggles such as depression, anorexia and divorce which I felt compelled to play therapist to. I was attacked after one of my friends played a foolish prank call on a man while he did E, and I foolishly went out with him to make sure he didn’t get into trouble. Fear of sex. The list goes on.
So I suddenly quit the reading group rather than face an embarrassing panic attack (also they got so bad at one point I thought I'd have a heart attack climbing a flight of stairs with my rucksack). The last time I went was a Christmas party in 2010, where I had a panic attack; she and her family gave me a lift home.
• 4) The year of A2s which ensued was a phase of anxiety so severe that I spent several months unable to sleep and imagining that I had a special form of fat around my chest which defined me as ‘dangerously’ skinny fat, that was slowly killing me by exponentially increasing my risk of heart disease, and which I had to diet and exercise off. (I did get an A in GCSE Biology however I truly could not think straight due to this insomnia, I study Arts and Humanities and fell for a lot of bro-science, which might explain why TRP ‘makes sense’ to me). This all led to some pretty bad hypochondria-induced disordered eating and extensive (albeit mostly low-intensity) exercise; i.e., the lesser known and oft-disputed eating disordeobsessive clean eating known as Orthorexia. An ECG scan and tests by a cardiologist would only half-convince me my heart was OK. In the meantime my weight plummeted, primarily muscle mass too as previously I worked out regularly.
• Socially I was destroyed, and walked around clutching my chest as if a dying man. I became heavily addicted to the Internet during this time, as a crutch to shield myself from reality, and I remain more mildly addicted 5 years later. At the end of 10+ hour computer binges doing nothing in particular, I would cry myself to sleep with bloodshot eyes at 3am, never certain when I'd not wake up, at least once a week. The fear of death never left me.
CBT convinced me less that I would live and more to enjoy my life while I still had it and not worry too much about my (admittedly impending) demise. The local Eating Disorder clinic said physically, I was fine; psychologically, I had pretty serious control issues (food as coping mechanism), poor body image/body dysmorphia, relationship dysfunctions both with women and dependence on my parents, and noticeable social anxiety. Not stuff which would go away overnight or in an office for a few weeks. This would require an overhaul of how I behaved and viewed the world, an overhaul which had very little to do with perfecting my body or grades as I previously thought was the path to success.
• Despite all this, I occasionally went out to see my friends, I passed all of my A Levels and received a scholarship into a Russell Group uni, and my gay friend nearly slept with me when I was sharing my anxieties (I rejected him due to a then fear I was gay; I now occasionally have ‘OCD” thoughts about whether I am secretly gay or bi.)
• 5) I had a shit 1st year at uni with this anxiety, naturally, so struggled to make friends. Most of my friends from high school moved out to explore ‘student life’ from halls, which they were convinced would boost their confidence more than financial security from less debt would. This was absolutely not an option for me; I could not cook for one, my orthorexia compelled me to have a specific diet that I’d probably just resort to starving (and yet only someone else could provide this for me?!), and I was having suicidal thoughts due to the ongoing insomnia/depression/paranoia. However, I had a lot of self-stigma, and given previous experiences of rejection, being abandoned here out on my own was like getting fed to the dogs. No.
I kept my distance, although occasionally reached out to societies and people in my lectures, and accessed the counseling service on a regular basis who. The Disability Support team provided me with a Learning Mentor, that is study buddy, an older woman doing pHD. She was incredibly cool, the problem was that I did not feel I had ‘earned’ this friendship, she was basically a pity friend to make sure I didn’t do anything stupid or waste the scholarship/end up dropping out. Also I developed a crush on her, so that was awkward. I made 2 contacts; one was a massive Star Wars nerd, but quite unreliable for hanging out outside of lectures and oddly attempting to be hyper-masculine despite it completely not suiting him. This also meant he was not down for emotional talks, and I couldn’t confide. The other was a third year with anxiety problems himself, however his time at uni and medication had helped him adjust and manage it better. He graduated aat the end of my 1st year, went travelling around the world (since he was pretty rich, despite his hardships, heh) made a fuck-ton of friends and finally landed a job in Spain. He’s in the country about 3 times a year and I missed the last hang-out due to my anxiety.
• 6) This left me living with my mother throughout university. For a number of reasons this was stressful for both of us:
i) Street cred; no house parties for me, boo! I felt like a child. ii) Being here was a constant reminder of the absence of my dad, who only a year before the breakdown had been kicked out and possibly cheated on I would still visit Dad at his new place around once a fortnight. My mother’s treatment of my father is one of the main attractions that the Red Pill holds for me. Again, see Purple Pill Debate for that, that’s another huge post and I would not be surprised to find something Oedipal/Madonna-Whore complex-y in choosing my ex. iii) As mentioned, my hypochondria and fear of heart disease led to orthorexia, a need for a very specific ‘clean’ diet. This upset my mum greatly; she conflated it with anorexia/bulimia, although it’s not quite as sever an ED as them. I’d go to the Eating Disorder service to get checked out, and told that my diet was extremely nutritious so there was no physical risk, but I had body dysmorphia and used food too much as a coping mechanism for my insecurities which would require counseling. In the meantime, my mom would cook for me, but took it as a personal affront that sometimes my anxiety would be too much to feel the meal was ‘safe’ to eat. Sometimes it reduced her to tears. Obviously this really hurt me, I felt incredibly guilty, and thought logically I should self-sabotage my being ‘too healthy’;-of which one way was to prevent myself going to the gym. (It should be noted that I was afraid of having a heart attack during exercise as well) In hindsight this was a TERRIBLE decision, for many reasons, in particular that it set up emotive reasoning; I don’t do it, therefore it must be unsafe-which perpetuated my fear of the activity.-and also that anxiety would reduce my baseline anxiety which was causing these habits!
In any case what emerged was a compulsive avoidance cycle of exercise similar to OCD. When the anxiety got too great to go without exercise or saying no to cake, I’d request compulsive re-assurance that I was not fundamentally bad or selfish or hurting anyone to do these things. I would self-sabotage to the point of self-harm, forcing myself to binge-eat on junk food, drink alcohol, deprive myself of sleep despite knowing it might end the cycle, and sometimes physically hurt myself. This haunted me throughout 3 years of university, including the relationship, given how much confidence lifting had given me as a high-schooler and I thought she was attracted to it. I secretly came to resent Mom for ‘controlling’ my life, ruining my ‘game’ with women (because you know, college girls only want to date ripped jocks and Alpha Males blabla) and it’s took several years until she started just getting pissed off and saying “dude just go to the fucking gym”. But she has been to therapy herself in the time between my breakdown during A Levels and now. She went around the time I started hanging out with my ex, actually. She has also re-married since then, which led her to let go of some of her hostilities towards my father.
It was safe to say that my life was in a very…strange, dysfunctional place, and I was, according to No more Mr Nice Guy, not an integrated adult male to say the least.
Pt. 2: Honeymoon
• 1) So, my Book Buddy, my Ex of sorts. She said she was gutted I left reading group without a word and searched for me for 2 whole years before bumping into me during freshers week on campus, as if by fate. That I was so cool and lit up her life in a way no one else had in just an hour once a month. At first I thought she was just overly obsessed with me and annoying, but soon warmed to her.
Now, this is shitty but a lot of this began as an experiment between myself and a psychologist to breach my fears of women. And so she was the first time I had ever let my walls down. Truly it was as if she was sent from heaven above, as I was miserable and lonely still at uni, sometimes suicidal. But always, there was the fear: what if part of my attraction is the Mystery Man/alpha persona? So I kept referring to some very elementary PUA resources (AskMen’s DocLove, I believe)
• 2) We became really good friends, without saying too much turned out she had experience of depression/anxiety, didn't want me to go through it either and we bonded over that. We also had a lot of common interests as remembered through reading group, built on those further as we got to know each other better and there was also physical attraction. I won't elaborate too much as some of it isn't my right to share. However importantly, she got me to ‘let go’ of my ED a little, try to relax more around junk food and not associate myself worth with perfectly lean body or perfect nutrition. (Given that she had some experience of depression-induced anorexia.) I mention this because it becomes important later on.
• 3) I asked her out around Christmas 2012; she said she was flattered and all over me, but couldn't because of cultural differences/her religion (Hindu) and strict parents imposing a curfew. These made us fundamentally incompatible despite chemistry.
• I left it for a bit, we remained friends feelings grew deeper, tried again she said yes this time, but it was on-off, she broke up with me and got back together with me 3 times in total, very apologetically and with regret each time though. • There was no sex because she's Hindu, which was frustrating but part of the bill. In truth I had a fear of sex for reasons unknown, likely the basic fear of women. But there was absolutely love. To this day I care for her and do not want her to hurt. It was why I had to distance myself in the end, sensing my anxiety would destroy us both. Throughout she was very supportive of my recovery, including helping me with my Dyspraxia, social anxiety and boosting my CV, while having a few small episodes herself.
So far, so heavenly.
Pt 3: Relapse
At some point a few things happened which made everything go to shit within about a year, most noticeably a downslide between November 2013 and July 2014:
1) I went through a fuck-ton of stress summer 2013:
• I moved house from Mum’s to Dad’s after too many disagreements about food (and also to move closer to my partner). • I stopped going to gym due to the return of intrusive thoughts of my being ‘a bad person’ that I now refer to as the ‘Mum/Gym worry’. • I started eating my Dad’s cakes and crumbles, feeling like it would make me fit in better with him and show him my love. But the presence of my Dad, a ‘low testosterone beta male’ who was whipped and destroyed by a woman, was stressful and threatening. Again, fitness buff me saw his laid back approach to dieting and exercise as indicative of a desire to sabotage and emasculate me. But in the victim mindset, I had no choice but to follow his example. So I became, just a little bit more pudgy. (Seriously, it was probably my dysmorphia, but it was enough to get distressed by it) • I had to sell my drums, (as mentioned a major reason I thought she liked me.) • I had to put my cat up for adoption, a poignant moment especially given the pet name she gave me. • My retail part-time job was on the line, as a new boss came in who basically spat upon my issues as weakness and inefficiency, while the new sixth form recruits were somewhat condescending bitches to me and me alone. • I didn’t really even feel that my former friends from high school and even some of my drinking buddies at home even liked me. • I was vaguely aware I was supposed to be considering my career options, long and hard, with the ‘real world’ outside of academia on the horizon. But I kept putting them off because the thought scared me, as did the careers advisor and it was stressful. I wanted to sleep, damn it. • And of course, 3rd year deadlines.
2) When she went away to India for the summer got really sucked into my Internet and porn addiction, to escape from the above stresses. My sleep hygiene once again became terrible, that is I’d stay up until 7 or 8 am some nights, even when I had work at 11am for example. The porn was triggering, often hotwife/cuckold porn on Literotica, as well as a shallow obsession with ‘transformation’ porn-fat to fit, old to young, Fitspo, whatever-or husbands getting dumped/cheated on for hot rich studs. This made me insecure, but was part of the high. It became a blueprint for reality, and a horrible one.
3) When she came back from (North of) India she broke up with me (she looked very tired and seemed to be in a depression) but came back to me 3 days later, saying she didn’t want to let me go.
4) I came off my meds prematurely without telling my GP I was going cold turkey. When first adjusting to my meds at the start of my 2nd year, I had a near-death manic/psychotic experience where I was deluded I was a superhero, and invulnerable to both an electric subway rail and the incoming train. I never jumped but very nearly did. (I was however actively suicidal at the time, too; it was akin to either hypomania or psychotic depression, according to my notes). The meds changed me, in a way I could not fully explain, and coming off them again may have changed me.
5) She got more confident socially and busier academically, got some positions of responsibility in student societies. I started off a little insecure about these, as in "I don't do much in the societies at uni, can she do better than me?" and then just crazy paranoid (see below)
6) Meanwhile I remained a bit of a social hermit on campus, although saw friends off campus. The time I spent on was spent on a student forum talking about my anxiety, insecurities and ruminations all the time and how they depressed me. (In particular I’ve semi-trolled the fitness sub-forum about whether I can go to the gym/lift or not). I would quite frequently read the BB Misc. for stories about how to game someone, how to seem ‘alpha’, or other off-the-wall PUA places like The Attraction Forums and Lovesystems. Eventually people hated me on the forum, and I'm actually famous on there and banned for life now by the moderators. Although I won’t name it, if you search the Internet you will find me. There is a lot of overlap with my activities on that forum and my activities on Reddit under the Xemnas pseudo.
7) Only the bare minimum of work was done, for 3rd year of all things. I particularly fell behind in English Lit, previously my favourite subject, but now with too many uncomfortable life truths hidden in the pages.
8) She met a guy friend who she unfortunately gave a triggering nickname to. I met him once before the summer she went to India, and he was a nice guy. He made her laugh. I won't repeat here for Anon but to do with alpha males and superheroes. She was close to him, almost as close as we were (impossible to tell in hindsight as I wasn't there for some of it was I). The dude was objectively very attractive, in better shape, pretty funny, much more laid back, pretty smart,and a hell of a lot more socially skilled/good with women. And she would not shut up about him really. Always sharing what they did in class or a funny joke he pointed out. Hypergamy anyone? As such I got really jealous and insecure about this guy, became a bit of a douche-canoe to him the few times we met and got paranoid she had feelings for him. (In all honesty she seemed to be quite fond of him, don't know if she is now…)
It should be noted, that she tried to get us to both be friends, without much success-but she clearly had a good time with him. Still, this is not the behavior of someone having an affair to introduce the part-time lover to a partner; it’s a dumbass move! (Unless she double bluffed me like the cunning bitch she is, my cynical paranoia said). Another kicker was that he described me as a “nice guy”, the curse of all betas everywhere; was he gaming me, trying to be the better man, keep your friends close and your enemies closer? I didn’t know where I stood.
9) I asked for advice re: this guy friend and dealing with it on the forum I was addicted to before Reddit. Some people said you need more self esteem, others said you need to improve yourself, the trolls kept saying things like "lol beta faggot she's gonna cheat on you man up pussy" until I believed them. One did suggest to “befriend:” him to keep an eye on him, but I felt too beta to do that.
All of these events led to a sharp-ish decline in mental health, that is losing confidence to socialize around the university, becoming afraid of Dad, afraid of her, afraid of losjng my job, losing sleep-just generally insecure and wanting to hide behind my laptop, despite my keyboard warrior activities being a HUGE source of the bullying to make me insecure again in the first place, in a vicious cycle.
Pt. 4: Breakup
1) The turning point of our relationship was that, about 3 months into the relapse, she threw a surprise 21st birthday party for me, a few days before Christmas 2013…but invited him (he'd just been dumped). It went terribly, and the thing is-that is kinda my fault!
I had been on a porn binge the night before, stressing about my dissertation. One of the stories on Literotica involved a woman sleeping with a guy with his nickname. I had been all but Redpilled/reduced back to a depressed insecure mess through the anon forum ‘alphas’ by now, and beginning to side with the Redpillers too, engaging in ‘debates’ about feminism, the pussy pass, gender double standards etc. My originally innocent questions about myself, “girls do you mind if a guy likes to eat healthy?” became leading questions; “girls just be honest, how important is a man’s status and wallet?” “do women lose interest the moment a man shows a shred of insecurity or weakness“ “would you dump your boyfriend if he got a 2.2/lost his job/put on 2lbs at Christmas?” “do you enjoy cheating?” etc.
As for her, she had started to act funny when hanging out, and withdraw from me, but she’d often do this when she was stressed or entering a depression. Only a couple of weeks before we’d had the most intimate actual 21st birthday ever. A couple of weeks later again, she’d be all over me and in love. She said she tried to invite some of her own friends, but they didn't respond.
I thought she was overly friendly to him throughout. The kicker for me was her flirting in (possibly to boost his confidence, however) and leaving the party early, to go Christmas shipping with him before they both got the bus home together. This remains the single shittiest thing she has ever done to me, but even this had some context; the party was thrown many miles from her house, when she was supposed to have a curfew, and she risked losing a limb or her right to leave the house to socialize if caught. When her father called her to demand her home when she’d hang out at mine, there was genuine fear in her eyes. From her perspective, she said to me she didn't understand why I was antisocial to her and even my guy friends. My friends also confirmed I was acting pretty weird, likely because of the sleep issues. My best friend, who I has been with me throughout said after she left that [sic] I was batshit motherfucking crazy paranoid about my own damn girlfriend and needed to chill out and enjoy the party and Christmas for Christ’s sake or I was going to ruin a good thing with her. I now wonder whether I just held a confirmation bias due to all the shitty porn stories I'd been reading.
2) Well around January 2014 she broke up with me, over the religion/culture thing, we tried to be friends but there was clearly feelings on both sides. She spent a couple of weeks stressing her reasons for the breakup were to do with culture/religion and how serious an inter-racial/inter-religious relationship will be to her family/community back in India. Like she was genuinely terrified. (This was common throughout the relationship as I hint at, typically when physical intimacy was involved, or we were getting very close. She she stressed it's why it might not be a good idea to date before we got together.)
After helping me prepare for finals, she gradually tried to distance; apparently I was a little clingy/obsessive about us no longer being physical and holding on too much which was hurting her. She needed some space but still wanted contact; perhaps this was selfish of her. Likely she was hurting and confused as to what she wanted as well. She said she wanted me to live a happy life.
3) During this not quite NC period, I continued my pseudo-research into 'alpha/beta' etc., went from the fringes of PUA, straight into the thick of the red pill. The leading questions were now not just unconscious but intentional: “girls do you enjoy cheating?” “do you like manipulating people for sex?” “have you ever dread gamed a beta?” and so on.
The mods have now banned me for my reactionary red pilling, and an abuse counsellor was called in from London to get me to quit my behavior. They said they were extremely lenient with me due to the seeming severity of my dysfunctions that would require quite a lot of therapy. Anyone else should have been banned a long time ago for inflammatory posting, especially given the vulnerability of some of the younger GCSE/A Level students, victims of sexual and emotional abuse, etc. Basically, I got a “crazy pass”, and exploited it-though with the aim of seeking reassurance for something really distressing me. I have since lost that pass, part of the reason I’m here on Reddit.
4) By March I was thinking "OMG she's president of the society shit hypergamy I'm screwed" (although didn't have the term for it then). I basically ended the friendship through my hostility towards her, over the risk of her being hypergamous and "trading up" to a hotter guy, lying about the reason for the breakup and laughing at it behind my back etc. I could never tell her this straight, so what manifested was me being a bit of a dick to the guy friend I thought she liked again (because according to his Facebook he was pretty attractive to other girls) depressed and passive aggressive when we met up. A few times I snapped since I was sleep deprived and stressed, usually after porn binges or getting bullied on this student forums. A few times I snapped at her just for thinking she was trying to ‘assert dominance’ over me, when she was just making a joke.
She went full NC on me for finals then gave me closure. At this point she said to the effect of "Are we really old friends? You never bothered to keep in touch at reading group did you" (truth was I was really shy and lacked the balls to ask her to hang out, so just hovered for the safe setting of the group then disappeared)
5) She came back (broke NC with text) to wish me well for my graduation, since she said it was important to know that I'd graduated, she wanted to know I was happy and had made it cos she still cared. She insinuated something about wanting to start things over. Whether she meant friendship or reconciliate the relationship I couldn't tell. Bear in mind the red pill and the darker corners of the Manosphere as well as the intensity of the porn I was onto by this point led to a full-on relapse. I remember spending 8 weeks last summer in my room with the light off and my laptop on my bed trying to understand it, with the result of becoming paranoid and more obsessive than usual (see my early post history for results of that!!!)
Because I couldn't tell what she meant, and had to leave the ceremony early for a family reunion meal, we had an awkward meet-up. There was then mis-communication at meeting up later that week, she said she was running late and may have to skip it for today, which I tried to be assertive about wanting to see her to meet up because I thought I might never see her again. However I came off aggressive, she broke down in tears, there was drama on the road (again see early post history) and she walked. I was heartbroken.
6) We went about 4 months NC during which time I thought I'd never hear from her again. She broke NC in November wanting to meet up. Still seemed to care for me a lot, also needed support since her stress levels were flaring up doing her own 3rd year. She even took me to “our place”. Confused as hell about her intentions.
Since when we were going out she'd brought up how she was frustrated by her family curfew, I tried to help with that with a resource…however the resource was extreme to say the least (Karam Nirvana, forced marriage/abuse), she was offended and shut down.
After this I basically said I didn't think I could be there for her at this present moment in time in case my paranoia flares up and I start treating her like shit again. I didn't want to fuck up her 3rd year. (I could not bring myself to say I'd been discussing her online wit random strangers/on PUA sites/porn addiction/redpilled for obvious reasons, although I tried to say it and tried in June as well) Again she broke down over this, the words “ripped to shreds” “lost a piece of myself in you” were used. So she was obviously distraught but understood my reasons. She suggested we meet up still, however she also said lots of things along the lines of "don't dwell on me" and "I need to know you'll be alright without me".
While discussing this over text I ended up saying some stuff which she responded to with "you don't understand me, that hurts me". I responded that I'm sorry but I might have Aspergers and struggle with stuff like this (getting diagnosed in September, an idea planted in my head by my father and friend with ASD). She responded "what? you're autistic? how come you never told me? Look forget I said anything about myself. Maybe we can meet up soon, and talk about [innocent casual Youtube comedian that I introduced her to when we were first starting to hang out]. Unfortunately I've gotta go do some work now though, see ya later :)"
{FWIW she's known I've had Dyspraxia throughout and been supportive of that.]
Now
Since then, we've had on-off contact through text.
Knowing the severity of my paranoia when I relapse (see heart worry above) I felt that as stalkerish as it might be, I should compile a list of affectionate things she said to me and save it for reference when I forgot. Things to understand what was going on. I’m now looking back at them, and my God how wrong have I managed to get everything thanks to TRP. It doesn’t add up. Is she one of the fabled unicorns?
She texted me happy birthday, before going quiet around Christmas (when I went quiet too, chicken and egg thing).
I haven't heard back from her, however last time I contacted her was Holi, where she sent a Thank you back within 10 minutes.
Earlier this week I looked up what she's doing on Google, (I've periodically tried to stalk her online as you do with exes eventually, but she's got barely anything up online). Well she's been helping at some science fair. Usually I'd be thinking crap hypergamy she's higher SMV, I'm totally screwed, what's a beta like me hanging out with her for anymore (objectively I'm not that beta). This is what went through my head around Feb-March (insomnia was returning due to finals stress, and the bullying/redpilling on the forum intensifying as noted above). This time I'm just thinking "aww good on her, well done".However I don't know if this is naive.
This week it was her birthday, I texted her and she did get back to me, saying thank you, and sorry for the late reply as she’d been helping out at a university open day. I have since tried to make small talk, and she is guarded in her responses. If she taught me anything, it’s that saying to someone “I’m OK”does not actually mean you are OK. However she said that as she was working on her birthday she was too tired to do anything.
I hope to arrange to meet up. Ideally, at some point I will have to explain exactly what went on in my head in my free time. Including the Red Pill, and the triggering porn. From there we will either begin to heal the friendship, have complete closure and an amicable farewell, or alternative closure, she will hate me and that will be a door shutting on 8 years of my life for good before going up in flames.
Here are the specific notions that the Red Pill and PUA have put in my head which have hurt my relationship
• i) Watch what a woman does, not what she says
• ii) Hypergamy: Crucial.Women are always fishing for the bigger catch (her guy friend, possibly; and she might be able to attan him, now that she has her status as President in the societies.) In my case, worsened by the fact that hypergamy originated with the Indian caste system…
• iii) The power distribution in relationships is critical, once a woman holds it she will lose respect for and any interest in/attaction towards a man
• iv) Cheating is always an option when the man’s high SMV is high enough
• v) Women are experts at hiding affairs, and if they think they’ll be caught they know how to gas-light the shit out of you
• vi) If a woman cheats, society will tell you it’s your fault for not being man enough (that is, alpha) to please a woman
• vi) Women are just as shallow if not more shallow than men, but will never admit it. Women say looks don’t matter much, but they matter. They matter everything. If a better looking guy comes on the scene, you can bet her hypergamous ass you’re fucked unless you stepyour game up
• Vii) Women say it’s OK to be sensitive, but if it’s not in the right contexts, it will be used against you and she’ll lose attraction
• Viii) She is not your shoulder to cry on, only the other way around
• ix) Women are constantly shit-testing men, to see if they can walk over them or wrap them around their finger as part of the power games. They want to see how far you can push them before you call them out on shit [source: Mom/Dad]
• x) The rationalization hamster: A woman will quickly change her tune to fit in with the “men are oppressors, women victims” narrative, and absolve herself of responsibility. For example cognitive dissonance, picking details which best fit her agenda, etc.
• xi) Women have means and ways of claiming emotional tampons through beta orbiters that they have no interest in as a person, only to dump their feelings and problems on
• xii) The pussy pass: there is a lot of stuff which a woman can get away with whjch a man would be absolutely slaughtered for, both in relationships and out, e.g. hitting a man
• xiii) Likewise there are ways women can act that men can’t; in particular it’s OK for women to have depression/anxiety etc., but not men. (Other examples include; it’s OK for women not to drive, but God forbid a man can’t)
• xiv) Nothing matters more to a woman than having a man who’s dominant and in control
• xv) A man must be able to read a woman’s mind at all times
• xv) The whole Alpha Fucks/Beta Bucks thing [see: my dad/divorce]
• xvi) [this is from porn] If a man can’t get hard at will, he’s a pussy. Likewise if he has a small dick
xvii) [this is not even TRP but just really bad paranoia and trust issues] A woman will cut off the testicles of a beta male when she wants to emasculate him and claim him as her bitch, so you need to watch yourself in bed
xviii) Don’t Talk about Fight Club: You cannot discuss the red pill anywhere, no-one will sympathise with you, not even therapists, certainly not women, it’s not in their interest to give up the name of the game. This is why feminists are so hostile to men discussing it. Remember women can do no wrong
xix) [projection] Women would rather all the beta and omega males of the world just go jump off a bridge and kill themselves already ,so that they can have their pick of the top 20%
xx) Attraction is Amoral: There is nothing fair about what women are attracted to, it is what it is, it is their natural conditioning as females. If you can’t handle it then you’re a weak beta not ready for the dating world
etc.
I try I try to fight these but I keep coming back to them, there seems to be some truth
tl;dr How do I even start? Getting paranoid about red pill, shitty cheating/hotwife porn stories and possibly misinterpreting PUA ruined a relationship/friendship but then I may always have been fucked from being too beta/anxious/insecure to start with due to a whole host of life issues preceding the relationship. Feeling like it might soon be time to break NC. I have wished her happy birthday and am currently making small talk, which she is a little closed off with.
submitted by Xemnas81 to exredpill [link] [comments]